Making Milestones

When I was first diagnosed with lung cancer in late 2007, Yoko and I went to see my daughter Jessica in Tallahassee, who was then a first year freshman at Florida State. At the time, I really did not think I would live to see her graduate from college. Now, two years later, she is finishing her first semester as a junior. Next year at this time she’ll be a senior and I will be one step closer to seeing all of my girls finish their undergraduate degrees.

When you have cancer you begin living your life with mental goals or milestones. In the early days you are just trying to get through treatments and live. If you are lucky enough to come out on the other side, like me, you begin to set goals for yourself. My first goal was to live long enough to see Paula married. Then I wanted to be well enough to take a once in a lifetime trip. (Yoko and I took a luxury three-week tour of Italy last year.) Now I want to live long enough to see Jessica graduate from college.

I have other things on my “bucket list” I would like to do. For example, I use to be a fairly accomplished horseman (dressage and show jumping); I always dreamed it would be fun go horseback riding on the open plains of Mongolia. I actually made it to Harbin, Manchuria one year on business but never made it to Mongolia. It’s one of a number of countries in Asia I have not visited and would one day like to see.

As it so happens, Rotary District 6960 is organizing a Group Study Exchange with a district in Eastern Siberia in May of 2010, just six months from now. It is a five week trip to Russia that I would love to make. As you might imagine, there is a lot of preparation to go on a trip like this. The group going trains together for about six months. Being an East Asian scholar of sorts I was thinking of volunteering to lead the GSE team to Siberia and afterward take a week to go riding in Mongolia. This is definitely a trip I would have to do alone (Yoko wants no part of this dream), but what an adventure would be! There’s only one problem. I am not scheduled for another Pet/CT until April, 2010. What if I discover cancer on my next scan?

Changing gears for just a second… Last week our community lost another dear friend and a man with a heart of gold, Bill van Dyk, to cancer. Bill was in the 2004 Leadership Charlotte Class with me and had won his battle with cancer years ago. He never made much of his original cancer diagnosis and you would not have known he had a recurrence until recently. He fought hard and I was somewhat dismayed at how rapidly he declined once the cancer spread. My heart goes out to his wife and family this holiday season. I think to myself, there but for the grace of God go I.

Cancer patients in remission are conscious of the fact that the beast can return at any time. For lung cancer patients, it is not just possible – it is probable. I for one wake up every day conscious of the fact that the clock is ticking. Time passes quickly and there is no time to waste.

Tomorrow I have an appointment to see Dr. Rioux about removing my port. I have had the port for two years and it is a constant reminder of my cancer diagnosis. While I am at it, I am going to schedule a colonoscopy, which I should have done years ago. After that I will decide whether a trip to Siberia or horseback riding in Mongolia is in the cards. Let’s hope!