Feelings of Guilt

If you read the “Feeling Fit” section of the Charlotte Sun, you’ll notice that it is teaming with announcements for all kinds of support groups meetings. It seems like nearly every malady imaginable is covered, so it was surprising to me that Charlotte County had no lung cancer support group.

Thanks to the effort of Irene and Carlos Gargiulo, that is no longer true. The first meeting of the Charlotte County Lung Cancer Support Group was held in December, with about 18 people in attendance. Many who came are lung cancer patients, but there were others who are caregivers grieving for a recently lost loved one. The group plans to get together once a month on the second Tuesday. The next meeting is January 12th from 2 PM in the 4th floor conference room at the Charlotte Medical Plaza (next to Charlotte Regional Medical Center). For more information contact Irene Gargiulo at icgarg@embarqmail.com.

Having a support group is invaluable. No one knows better the range of emotions you have after a lung cancer diagnosis than another patient. Sharing those feeling is important therapy. Since there was no support group in the area when I was diagnosed, I went on the internet to seek out support and information. The first thing I did was purchase books on lung cancer. I also found an online support group, hosted by the Lung Cancer Alliance. This group provides a resource to the experiences of thousands of lung cancer patients and caregivers. (See http://www.inspire.com/groups/lung-cancer-alliance-survivors/)

One of the best books I found is called “Lung Cancer – Myths, Facts, Choices and Hope” written by famed lung cancer researcher Dr. Claudia Henschke and Peggy McCarthy, founder of the Alliance for Lung Cancer Advocacy. I read the 400 pages cover to cover in a day, devouring the content as if my life depended on it. What I learned in those pages, in fact, helped save my life. Knowing that people do survive a lung cancer diagnosis provided me the motivation to fight and to believe that there was a way through to a new chapter in my life.

The sad fact is that many lung cancer patients have an overwhelming sense of guilt. They feel responsible, somehow, for contracting the disease. Many lung cancer patients adopt the attitude that they “deserve what they get” and choose to get no treatment. These feelings of guilt may be reinforced by family, friends, and even healthcare providers, who Peggy McCarthy says “view lung cancer as a lesson in the wages of sin.” “Pervasive negative feelings about smoking”, she says, results in “lung cancer patients not being offered aggressive life-saving treatments.” Guilt ridden patients frequently don’t demand treatments that could prolong or improve their lives. McCarthy says we need to confront these attitudes and change them. I agree. The attitude of some in the medical community is particularly irksome.

There is an interesting story in the book talking about Alice Steward Trillen, who at the age of 38, coughed up a small clot of blood, went for an X-ray, and learned she had lung cancer. The book quotes Trillen as saying “I was young. I was healthy. I never smoked a cigarette in my life. The doctors tried to give me explanations for the tumor and seemed embarrassed that they couldn’t come up with any. I sneaked a look at my hospital chart and found in one doctor’s report on me the phrase, “Patient gives the story that she never smoked.” This doctor simply found it necessary to blame me for having lung cancer.”

Lung cancer patients need support and encouragement from their family, friends and doctors if they are going to beat the disease. Feelings of guilt and remorse and assigning blame for the disease only make recovery more difficult.

Irene and Carlos may not realize it, but I have no doubt the support group they have formed is going to help save or extend lives. I plan to attend every month. If you are a lung cancer patient, please join us.