The Lesson of Carrots, Eggs and Coffee

A friend of mine sent me this little story of inspiration. It is something to be taken to heart!

Carrot, Egg and Coffee...

A young woman went to her mother and complained about life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of the everyday fighting and struggling. It seemed that when one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother beckoned her into the kitchen and boiled three pots of water. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans.

She let them all boil for a while without saying a word. In time she turned off the burners and fished out the the carrots, eggs and coffee, placing each in a separate bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see.""Carrots, eggs, and coffee," the daughter replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its flavor and smelled the rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What is your point, mother?"

Her mother explained how each of these objects had faced the same adversity - boiling water. Each reacted differently.The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. But the ground coffee beans subjected to boiling water had changed the water itself. "Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean, that changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain? When the water gets hot, it releases its fragrance and flavor.

If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy. The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes their way.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heart aches. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Confidence Shaken

I am working hard on getting through a crisis of confidence. I am the enternal optimist, always thinking that things will be better tomorrow. This year has been a real test. I have been dealing with the worst market since the great depression while battling lung cancer.

The market collapse has hurt all of my clients. I saw something like this coming and I said so last April at a client dinner. I said that the real estate bust could lead to financial chaos, as it did in Japan in 1989. In the back of my mind, I thought the US and Japan were too different and the financial debacle that befell Japan would not happen here. Nevertheless, I should have raised more cash. I simply lacked the confidence of my convictions. I have been about 15 - 20% in cash through all of this. In retrospect I wish I were 50% cash.

Following the collapse of banking we are now facing the collapse of the auto industry, which was once the economic backbone of the country. Yesterday we learned about a Wall Street firm's $50 billion rip off of investors. Bernie Madoff was the former Chairman of NASDAQ! What is the world coming to? It feels like everything is falling apart!

Every piece of advice I have given people has not worked out as I had hoped. Until now, in my career I have followed the conventional wisdom of Wall Street. I have preached diversification, not timing the market, and investing for the long hall. But I have begun to question this wisdom. I am now focusing on just a few stocks that are industry leaders and positioned to do well over the next 3 - 5 years. Companies like McDonalds, Exxon Mobile, Johnson and Johnson, 3M, Boeing, Wells Fargo, etc. I am positioning clients so that, in the future we need to raise cash, I can do it easily.

One thing I have noticed is that there are a lot of brokers who are successful and have NO concern about doing the right thing for their clients. They put themselves first -- called YTB (yield to broker). Their only concern is how to line their pockets. I see it every day. People like me who are less concerned about money and more concerned about doing the right thing and taking care of people do not benefit from being honest and having integrity. Unfortunately, it appears to me that the public can not tell the difference between me and a greedy broker. That hurts.

The last piece of bad news that has shaken my confidence is Kevin Mahoney, my manager at Morgan Stanley who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last year, but who was doing well until recently. Turns out that the cancer is back and they are going to try to remove the tumor. Kevin had beaten the odds, so this is a real set back. It makes me wonder...have I beaten the odds, or is more bad news yet to come.

Leisure Time? There's No Rest for the Weary

I have been working hard lately. Last night I was in the office until 9 PM....and tonight I was there until 8PM. It is almost 11 PM and I am still sitting in front of the computer at home trying to get things done. I read the LCA website every day http://www.inspire.com/groups/lung-cancer-alliance-survivors/ and half the time I leave the site in tears. (Tonight I found the shocking story of a 15 year old girl who was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer. You can learn more about her story at http://www.haleydyal.com/. )

The more I read about lung cancer, the more angry I become and the more determined I become to do something while I am healthy.

I am going to organize the Florida Chapter of Lung Cancer Alliance. I have a number of friends in mind to help me, including Dr. Matt DeFilipis, whose father is fighting lung cancer, Mary Grace Lorah, whose sister died this year from lung cancer, Walter (who I played golf with this weekend), who also had a sister that died of lung cancer a few months ago, Jen Wadsworth, my editor at the Sun, whose mother died from lung cancer, John Rioux, who is the Chief of Surgery at Fawcett and the hospital cancer spokesman, Dr. Cary Huber, who is a thorasic surgeon at Charlotte Regional and is very much on board with helping, and (I hope) Scott Lunin and Dave Rice . This would be a good "core team" but we will need to recruit a lot of volunteers to help.

My thoughts are that we would create the outline of an organization and a strategic plan regarding what we want to accomplish. We are going to need funding, political advocacy, public relations, platform development, etc.

I have the opportunity to speak in front of a number of groups next month with 30 or 40 people. These include Charlotte County Young Professionals, OCEAN (a caregiver organization), and Charlotte Harbor Rotary. Its a good opportunity to begin finding funding and volunteers.

Aside from the newspaper column, I have Project Graduation, St Vincent de Paul, our Rotary Club golf tournment, and lung cancer advocacy. There is so much I want to do (books I want to read, getting into an exercise routine, etc.) The problem is finding the time.

Another Decade? Oh No!

So I never wrote about what happened after we returned from Italy. We got back from the trip on Sunday, November 2nd. The following weekend we were scheduled to go up to the FSU/Clemson game. As it turned out, Yoko got a notice to report to the Immigration and Naturalization Service in Tampa for fingerprinting the Friday we were planning to go to Tallahassee. That turned out to be a blessing, since it was on our way. (Yoko was in and out in just a few minutes.)

The following Friday, November 14th, we had to go to New Port Richie (near Tampa) for my clinical trial shots, which I now get every six weeks. On Wednesday, November 12th, I had my most recent PET and CT Scans. The Monday after Dr Lunin called to tell me that my scans and blood tests were "perfect" and that there is no sign of the disease. I said, "I guess this means I can live another year" and Scott replied "You'll probably live another decade or two."

Damn. I had been preparing to die for the entire past year...and I was ready. Suddenly, I am going to live and now have to work till retirement! The recent downward slide of the stock market has not made this news any easier to take. My career as a stock broker has been a miserable experience so far ; I am not looking forward to guiding people thru the recession.

So now I have to sit back and examine my situation and try to imagine what the next few years will bring. Jessie has about 2 years to go before she finishes college. I'd certainly like to see that. That will be the year, I figure, that Paula and Brian will announce a grandchild is on the way. I'd certainly like to see that too. I figure June will get island fever and begin looking for another job somewhere in California....she is also bound to meet someone but I figure marriage maybe in the years 2012 or 2013. By that time Jessie will have figured out her career ambitions. I am hoping she will choose to work in California as well.

My commitment to Morgan Stanley goes to 2014. After that I can do what I want to do. By then the stock market will have recovered from current levels and home prices will be back to normal. I'll have the choice of staying here or moving to be closer to the kids, which is what Yoko wants. All this presumes I stay healthy, the market recovers, and no more disasters befall us. Whatever happens, its nice to be thinking about the long term again.