Life in the Fast Lane

I was going to write a post about what it is like leading your life at 100 MPH but I never got to it. This post will be the substitute. These days I feel like I am living in the fast lane and time is just flying by! To add to this feeling, I had steroids today and I am so hyped up I feel like I could run a marathon! I will tell you about my latest chemo treatment, etc., but this is currently a minor part of how I am spending my time. My oncologist, Dr. Scott Lunin and a few other people have complained that I am not making frequent blog entries lately. I will try to do better.

Actually, I just purchased a book called Surviving Cancer; it is a 100 page book by a woman who was a court stenographer and RV enthusiast diagnosed with small cell lung cancer (which is a more aggressive form of lung cancer than what I have). She was diagnosed in 1999 and had mets in the liver but survived. As I read this book, I was thinking that my blog was MUCH better and MUCH more entertaining. Whether I survive long term or not, I am thinking I need to edit this blog into a book that can be sold, with the proceed going to lung cancer research and education. What do YOU think? I think I should call it "Fighting Lung Cancer -- A Personal Diary". Unfortunately, I am afraid this could be a best seller on Amazon.

I have not posted to this blog in a week because I have been SO busy. What am I doing? Well, we lost our executive director at St Vincent de Paul Community Healthcare and as Treasurer, some of the burden has fallen to me to lend management help. I spent all day last Friday (after chemo) at the clinic. I spent half the day on Monday at the clinic; I spent a good couple of hours again today at the clinic (again, after chemo) and I expect to spend 15 or more hours a week there in the coming months until we get our house in order and straighten out the management and operations. Now that we have a clinic and multiple locations where we are dispensing drugs, the operations have suddenly become more complex and will require some management and oversight on the part of the board. The first challenge was building and opening the clinic; the ongoing challenge will be funding operations on a continuing basis. On a very low level we need $300k a year to keep the doors open; to operate more meaningfully we are looking at more than twice that amount. In addition to the time at the clinic, I am working to help obtain the funding that is needed. So you see what I mean about having a second non-paid job! I am not complaining. I actually enjoy my clinic job and doing something that has a meaningful impact people's lives. To be honest, I like doing this more than my "real" job" because we are "saving lives" of people who have nothing. In my real job, I am simply trying to preserve the assets and retirement lifestyle of people who have everything and are largely self absorbed. It is definitely not as satisfying.

In addition to SVDP, I have Project Graduation for Rotary which is now meeting weekly. This is not taking a great deal of time yet (a few hours a week) but graduation is not far off and we need to do a lot of things prior to the event, which is May 29th.

Next weekend we have our Rotary Club's 10th Anniversary dinner and I have been assigned the job of finding artwork (worth $500 or more) to give away! If you have something worthwhile at home you would like you can donate, let me know! (No, I am NOT giving away my Miro!)
What else is going on? I am in the Republican Club here and missed the March 3rd evening meeting that was featuring Bruce Lockes, the county administrator. I had a last minute evening client appointment I could not change. I am going to try and get in front of Republicans to raise money for St Vincent de Paul Community Health Care. I am also working on speaking engagements or luncheons with church groups, business owners, and other donors.

I really like doing this and if I did not have my "real job" I might enjoy working for the clinic full time. There is plenty to do. I kind of feel like Salomon Chase, the Secretary of the Treasury under Lincoln who had to raise money for the Union Army during the Civil War. We are fighting a war over healthcare in this country and I believe it is the biggest issue facing this country in the coming years. The democrats want to have a government solution, but I believe that government interference in healthcare (Medicare) has caused the current crisis by interfering in market mechanisms. No question healthcare is a unique service and it is a difficult issue, but I think there are other ways to solve the problem. SVDP is an example of what could be done. On the other hand, SVDP could not have treated me for cancer. What would I be facing if I was not insured??I sent in an application this week to attend the Lung Cancer Advocate Summit in Chicago at the end of May. This is being organized by an advocacy group to discuss how to develop grass root support for lung cancer research and awareness. They are limiting attendance (all expenses paid) to 50 people. I am hoping I will be selected to go as I have a lot of ideas about what has to happen to get lung cancer and a movement to screen for early detection on the national radar.

We could save or extend millions of lives if we could catch the disease when it is Stage I or II. Your chances of long-term survival is greatly diminished when you get to stage III and beyond. Had there been a standard test for me, we might have caught my cancer before it developed as much as it did. I am lucky that we caught mine when we did and I feel confident I am going to be in the "survivor" ranks instead of the "victim" ranks. Because I am not disabled by the disease, I feel I am currently in a good position to begin advocating for research dollars and creating awareness among smokers to get tested. Knowing what I know now, as a former smoker, I would have a CT-Scan once a year to look for tumors, even if I had to pay for it myself. Anyone reading this age 50 or older who is a former smoker should talk to their primary care doctor and ask about getting a CT scan to look for tumors. Xray is not good enough. CT-scans would detect something as small as 1 CM.

Last weekend I had a chance to visit my father's brother Sam and his wife Sue at a place they are renting for a few weeks in Cape Canaveral. It was great seeing them. Uncle Sam had a sudden cerebral hemorrhage a few years ago and was nearly totally incapacitated and almost died. Thank God, he pulled through and you would not know today that he was so sick. I loved visiting with Uncle Sam for a couple of reasons. First, he looks and acts a lot like my father, who I miss so much. I never really have had a chance to speak with Uncle Sam at length when I do on the rare occasion see him. There are always too many other people around. Seeing Sam was kind of like visiting with my own father. Secondly, Uncle Sam worked on Wall Street his whole life and he has a lot of interest and insight into what is currently going on in the market. There is always plenty to talk about when it comes to the markets and it is interesting to me to hear his views. And finally, he has interests and does things that (fishing and hunting) that I know nothing about.

I learned that they expanded the place in Java by 13 acres; that Aunt Sue has a shot gun and shoots Canadian geese and other pesky critters at the Java estate; that my two cousins -- Jimmy and Sammy -- are "packing" licensed concealed weapons and have "self protection" stories to tell; that the whole family likes shooting and hunting and that they eat everything they kill. In fact Uncle Sam and his boys went hunting for quail in Texas and bagged 500 birds! They sent them all home and ate them!! (I am listening to this story and thinking they must have been using a machine gun to bag so many birds! I wonder if they went to the same place Dick Cheney frequents?)

We talked about Joan and Jim and their families; Sammy and his new house (which I really want to see when completed as it is being built in a Japanese design); about Suzy and her hubby, etc. We brought them up to date about our kids; our plans to visit Italy in the fall, the wedding, etc. We basically sat around eating and drinking and talking and catching up the entire weekend. I heard all about their health and they heard about mine.

Saturday night we went out to an Italian restaurant (of course!) I found out the name of the town Uncle Sam visited in Italy that my grandfather came from (Melfi -- same name as Dr. Jennifer Melfi the psychiatrist in "The Sopranos"). Apparently, Uncle Sam's snooping around Melfi was not welcomed because the locals thought the rich American was coming back to reclaim abandoned lands they may be living on! They were very suspicious.

Anyway, Yoko and I had a great time and the weekend was over before we knew it. We'll have to get up to Buffalo this summer when it is unbearably hot here!

What else has been going on? Every night is something. Last Friday before going to Cape Canaveral I went to a reception held by the Charlotte Community Foundation. I was suppose to go to the Republican Club dinner on Monday, but I ended up meeting with a client instead. Tuesday I stayed home in bed (for the first time) because I have been trying to shake a cold. I was suppose to help with Project Graduation Tuesday night, but I stayed in home instead. I did absolutely nothing on Tuesday. Wednesday Yoko and I went to our Rotary Club once-a-month evening dinner, which is always fun. Thursday night I worked late, trying to get caught up. This morning I had chemo; I went to work for 2 hours, drop a few tickets and then went to the clinic to perform some "management duties".

Yoko and I got home at about 3 PM together. I made lunch while she put away the groceries. Since then I have been writing e-mails, calling people on various matters, doing this blog, reading and generally keeping very very busy. This weekend we have to get our tax stuff together. (I HATE that job.)

As far as my health condition goes, my white blood cell count is down to 2.5. We began this round of treatment at 8.8 and normal range is 4.2 - 10. Last week the count was 2.9 and the week before that it was 6.1. It really dropped more quickly than the last time, which was more gradual. I asked Scott about this and his response was that the bone marrow exhibits damage as treatment continues. The first round of 8 treatments did not have this kind of dramatic downturn...But the current treatment has shown the WBC count to fall like a rock. An impaired bone marrow is the answer.

Dr Lunin is concerned that if the WBC gets too low, he won't be able to continue the current treatment until I recover. Staying "on schedule" is important to getting good results. SO...he is going to give me neupogen shots starting tomorrow morning at 8 AM. This is suppose to cause the bone marrow to increase production of white blood cells. He is also concerned that my cold has not resolved so he wrote a script for an antibiotic, which I am to take for three days. If I did not have the cold I would feel 100 percent. Even with the cold, I feel 95 percent. I am not tired or suffering any of the ususal side affects of chemo. My red blood cells are at 4.02, which is low, but just below the normal range of 4.5 - 6.4. Last week my RBC was 4.05, so hardly a change. Seems like I do a good job producing RBC. Hgb and HCT are 12.9 and 37.3 respectively, which are below normal (just barely) so my hemoglobin is OK.

I am scheduled for three shots of Neupogen. Tomorrow (Saturday) and then Monday and Tuesday before work. Some people who have had the shots say they made them sick or result in bone pain, so I am a bit apprehensive. Hopefully this new drug, like all the others, will roll off my back and not impact my daily living. I have too much going on to be sick!

Speaking of busy, tonight I made the reservations for our post-wedding trip to Palm Springs. The plan is to go there on June 8th after the wedding. Chris and Karen Maher, Eric and Diane Madsen, and Brian and Lori Brunderman are all planning to go. I made reservations at Rancho Las Palmas in Rancho Mirage, where they hold the Bob Hope Classic Golf Tournament each year. The plan is for the boys to play golf while the girls get treated at the spa on June 9th. We'll all go out to dinner that evening and some will leave the next day and some of us will stay and continue to play. Yoko and I have reserved 4 nights. It should be a lot of fun and relaxing.

We are really looking forward to the wedding and all the activities surrounding it. (By the way, next Saturday is the RSVP deadline, so if you are planning to come, you'd better let Paula know. Once the door closes, that's it. (Just kidding...I think the count is up to 140!)

I have been very fortunate. Now that I am telling people openly about my disease, I can compare notes with other cancer patients. To be honest, in comparison with most people, I feel guilty that I don't have some bad reaction. I keep wondering if I am getting enough dosage! On the other hand, a lot of people I speak with have a "woe is me" attitude and maybe somewhat overstating their adverse reaction. Or maybe it is just more or different drugs. I don't know.

Speaking of dosage, this week there was a story on "American Greed" on CNBC about a pharmacist in Kansas who diluted the chemo drugs he delivered to cancer centers in the Kansas area in order to make more money. An oncologist somehow figured out what he was doing. Can you imagine that??!! I hope the man develops cancer and is treated with saline! He had an $18 million bank account when they arrested him. He was a town notable because he was a big philanthropist....hmmm. I wonder if philanthropy would assuage his guilt for the number of people he probably helped kill early in order to amass the money? It is too mind boggling to even contemplate.

Last health thing to report ...I am developing some neuropathy in my feet and hands. As I type this I can feel a kind of numbness in my fingers and the bottom of my feet. I am taking the Lyrica and I guess that is helping. Nothing else is noticeable. I am now a finely attuned machine looking for anything to report to Scott. It is great you and he take the time to read this blog... It is nice to provide you with a window to my life and thoughts.

One thing I have learned is that when you are faced with the prospect of only living another one or two years, you get busy doing things that are important. The thing that is most important to me now -- other than my family -- is doing something to make the world a better place. I think I spent too much of my youth and early adult life working for myself and trying to make money and get ahead for my family (not all that successfully). It is not that making money is not important... I think money is a great measure of success; but I am not working for money any longer. We are comfortable and I have enough and if something happened to me Yoko will have enough. So now, you begin to think about what else you can do. I am really happy working with SVDP because it is something that is concrete that uses my skills to help people -- albeit indirectly. (I wished I was a doctor so I could volunteer myself to take care of patients.)

I hope my girls and all the young people reading this blog will get involved now in doing something for other people. It is addictive and it is something you will be able to point to years from now and feel very very proud to have done. You end up defining your life by what you do for others, not what you do for yourself. You will have lived a rich life if you have done a lot for other people. These are the people we read about in history. These are the people who really do make a difference. It is not what you know, it is what you DO with what you know that is important.

Sorry to go on an on...it is chemo Friday. Good thing that sex is off limits for 48 hours after chemo. I think they must have made that rule to protect the caregivers! I know. I know. Too much information. Sorry girls!

(By the way, if you decide to make a comment on this blog, don't only comment on the LAST thing I said!)

Oh, and very last thing. Yoko got a card from Janie that made me cry. She was saying thanks for our hosting her visit and she was offering sincere help to Yoko, who is loathe to ask for anything. Janie that was a beautiful note (Yoko let me read it) and I wanted to tell you how much we enjoyed seeing you and how much we love you too!