Janie and David were here this past weekend and, we were so busy, I have not been able to find time to make a blog entry! On Monday I was busy at work; I had a 3:3o doctor's appointment with John Rioux to check out my port and then Monday night I had a St Vincent De Paul board meeting from 5 PM. (Mondays are always busy because they are "catch up" days following chemo Fridays. ) Tuesday I was busy all day at work, still trying to catch up from Monday. In fact, I had people waiting for me at the office when I arrived and never stopped running all day. Tuesday night I had a "Project Graduation" decorating committee meeting and did not get home until after 8:30PM
This morning (Wednesday) I was up at 6 AM for my normal Rotary breakfast, which starts at 7 AM. I had an Advisory Board meeting for St Vincent de Paul at noon and tonight was the "leaders" dinner in Estero -- a monthly Morgan Stanley event for the top producers in SW Florida. The dinner in Estero was at Ruth Chris' Steak house and went from 6PM until 9PM. I did not get home until almost 11PM because I was stuck in traffic on I-75 following an accident.
So here I sit at the end of a long day trying at least to make one blog entry before bedtime. Tomorrow --Thursday -- is the last day of my work week. Friday is chemo. Saturday I am planning to go to Cape Canaveral to visit Uncle Sam and Aunt Sue, who are down here from Buffalo. (Yoko and I are planning to drive over on Saturday morning, stay overnight, and drive back on Sunday.)
Who knows when I might have time to make another entry, so let me bring you up to date. This past Saturday Jane, David, Yoko and I were up around 9 AM for a leisurely breakfast --- except it wasn't all that leisurely because we had to be in Boca Grande by 11AM. (I made pancakes and bacon on the George Foreman grille Yoko gave me for Christmas.) The plan was to meet Brian and Lori Brunderman at Elridge Marina just before the Boca Grande causeway and then head out. Brian and Lori were planning to trailer their boat to Boca Grande from their house in Charlotte Harbor, but the trailer wheel had fallen off, so they had to motor over, which took them more time than expected. We met up around 11:30 AM and took the intercoastal to Stump Pass Marina, where we stopped for stone crabs and beer. From there we went to the beach at Stump Pass and hung out there for a while before heading home. We saw a manatee at Stump Pass Marina (a first for me) and generally had a good time just visiting and enjoying the sun and company.
When we got home I decided to make Korean barbque for dinner. David and I got cleaned up and went shopping for the key ingredient (a skirt steak). We served dinner around 8 PM. (Once again I found a way to use the George Foreman grill.) We finished dinner around 10 PM. At that point, David, having been exhausted by sun, a strong Manhattan, and garlic, retired to bed. (He also had a cold and was a bit under the weather.)
Sunday morning we were up again by 9AM. I made arrangements for us to go kayaking on the Orange River at my golf club in Ft Myers. We left the house around 10 AM, drove down to Ponce de Leon Park in Punta Gorda, showed Jane and David our other house on Bal Harbor, and got to Verandah by noon. We kayaked up and down the beautiful Orange River for about an hour and a half, cleaned up and then had lunch at the River House Restaurant. We hung out at Verandah for a couple of hours, did a quick tour of the neighborhood, and then took Jane and David to the airport, where we said our goodbyes. Yoko and I had a good time visiting with Jane and David and entertaining them with Florida boating adventures! It is the first time we have had visitors here from up North in many years. We are looking forward to seeing them again this summer at Paula and Brian's wedding if not up at their place in Virginia.
So that is what has been going on since my last blog. How am I feeling? All in all, I feel fine. I have had a cold since before chemo started, but it seems to be better. After I got home from dinner tonight, I exploded in the bathroom -- from both ends. It may be something I ate or a bit of the bug. Either way it is unpleasant. As I type this I am noticing that my fingers don't have feeling in the tips and my feet are "tingling" on the bottom. I guess the cisplatin is working -- and I guess I should be glad. (On the way home tonight I was listening to a show on CNBC XM radio called American Greed. Tonight's show was about the case of pharmacist in Kansas City, a fews years back, who diluted life-saving chemo drugs in order to enrich himself. Can you imagine?) Anyway, all in all, I feel pretty fit. Janie was surprised at how well I am doing; I hope I can continue to manage my treatments well and "surprise on the upside."
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
The One Question I Didn't Ask....Damn
I would have been a lousy executive. I remember interviewing for a bank executive-trainee program right after college for Bank of Virgina I think. I had made it to the second round of interviews and I remember I had to travel to Virginia from PA for this interview. Let me tell you the ending so this doesn't get too long winded. I didn't get the job and I know why I didn't.
We were asked to do role-playing so that the people judging me could tell something about my decision-making skills -- that is, my ability to collect relevant information and based on that, make the right decisions. The scenario they gave me had to do with my being a store manager, whose job was to enforce the merchandise return policy. Some lady wanted to return an item (a pair of shoes) that was not within the terms of the return policy and had insisted on speaking to me. Long story short, I interviewed the lady and gathered all of the information. She had made the purchase 60 days ago and our return policy was 30 days. The shoes she wanted to return had obviously been used. No she did not have a receipt, but yes, it WAS our store brand. After carefully weighing all these and similar pertinent facts, I basically decided to tell the lady she was NUTS. Not only I would not accept this as a return item and refund her money, I would not even give her store credit for a portion of the cost. I was tough. I made an executive decision to turn her down flat. This executive decision making thing was pretty easy!
In my exit interview (where I was NOT asked back) I found out where I had gone wrong. The lady was the daughter of the owner of the store. She was our biggest customer. She had purchased about $10,000 a month in shoes from my department. Hmmm. Never asked about THAT. Yes, in retrospect, I suppose it might have been important to know WHO this lady was...
What does all this have to do with cancer you ask? I guess the bottom line is that I haven't learned much in the intervening 30 years.
My sister Jane is an RN. Since being diagnosed with cancer, I thought she would be a good resource and sure enough she is. Jane seems to know all the latest drugs, etc. In fact, when she heard I was having Navelbine, she was the one that suggested a port would be the way to go. Anyway, tonight she and David came down from Philadelphia. We picked them up at the Ft Myers airport around 6:15 PM and went to dinner in Sanibel at 7:15 PM. At dinner I was telling Janie about today's chemo treatment. I had told Tammy, the nurse who was giving me my drugs today, that my sister the RN suggested a port. Tammy asked me "what kind of a nurse is your sister?" And I said, "she is an IV nurse; she gives IVs to people in their homes". Apparently that was the wrong answer and might have been partly right 10 years ago. Since then Jane's speciality is ONCOLOGY! She is an oncology nurse working at Leigh Valley Hospital, one of the largest oncology centers in PA! Hmmm...another case of not getting all the facts. I guess her knowing all these cancer drugs should have been a hint! If I could just stop talking long enough to ask one more question -- I might have known the right answer! Oh well, Janie thought it was funny, but I thought it was embarrassing! I wonder if I should ask her how much she makes? (Just kidding!)
Anyway, Jane and David are here and we are going to have a good time till they leave on Sunday. We got home from dinner at 11 PM..they are pooped and in bed. I am on steroids and decided I would blog something about tonight as a way of entertaining them when they awake in the morning. It also helps make you, the reader, part of the weekend.
The place that we ate was Dolce Vita (an Italian restaurant where Yoko and I went about a month ago). The food was excellent. They have live entertainment, so it was a little noisy. We had a nice time visiting on the way there and on the way home. Tomorrow we head out on Brunderman's boat, which they have so kindly offered. The plan is to go to Boca Grand....head to a Jimmy Buffett kind of restaurant only accessible by boat...have lunch...hang out on the beach till sunset and then make our way home. The weather should be sunny and warm....a nice brake for Jane and David, who had to dust snow off their car before leaving home!
TO BE CONTINUED
We were asked to do role-playing so that the people judging me could tell something about my decision-making skills -- that is, my ability to collect relevant information and based on that, make the right decisions. The scenario they gave me had to do with my being a store manager, whose job was to enforce the merchandise return policy. Some lady wanted to return an item (a pair of shoes) that was not within the terms of the return policy and had insisted on speaking to me. Long story short, I interviewed the lady and gathered all of the information. She had made the purchase 60 days ago and our return policy was 30 days. The shoes she wanted to return had obviously been used. No she did not have a receipt, but yes, it WAS our store brand. After carefully weighing all these and similar pertinent facts, I basically decided to tell the lady she was NUTS. Not only I would not accept this as a return item and refund her money, I would not even give her store credit for a portion of the cost. I was tough. I made an executive decision to turn her down flat. This executive decision making thing was pretty easy!
In my exit interview (where I was NOT asked back) I found out where I had gone wrong. The lady was the daughter of the owner of the store. She was our biggest customer. She had purchased about $10,000 a month in shoes from my department. Hmmm. Never asked about THAT. Yes, in retrospect, I suppose it might have been important to know WHO this lady was...
What does all this have to do with cancer you ask? I guess the bottom line is that I haven't learned much in the intervening 30 years.
My sister Jane is an RN. Since being diagnosed with cancer, I thought she would be a good resource and sure enough she is. Jane seems to know all the latest drugs, etc. In fact, when she heard I was having Navelbine, she was the one that suggested a port would be the way to go. Anyway, tonight she and David came down from Philadelphia. We picked them up at the Ft Myers airport around 6:15 PM and went to dinner in Sanibel at 7:15 PM. At dinner I was telling Janie about today's chemo treatment. I had told Tammy, the nurse who was giving me my drugs today, that my sister the RN suggested a port. Tammy asked me "what kind of a nurse is your sister?" And I said, "she is an IV nurse; she gives IVs to people in their homes". Apparently that was the wrong answer and might have been partly right 10 years ago. Since then Jane's speciality is ONCOLOGY! She is an oncology nurse working at Leigh Valley Hospital, one of the largest oncology centers in PA! Hmmm...another case of not getting all the facts. I guess her knowing all these cancer drugs should have been a hint! If I could just stop talking long enough to ask one more question -- I might have known the right answer! Oh well, Janie thought it was funny, but I thought it was embarrassing! I wonder if I should ask her how much she makes? (Just kidding!)
Anyway, Jane and David are here and we are going to have a good time till they leave on Sunday. We got home from dinner at 11 PM..they are pooped and in bed. I am on steroids and decided I would blog something about tonight as a way of entertaining them when they awake in the morning. It also helps make you, the reader, part of the weekend.
The place that we ate was Dolce Vita (an Italian restaurant where Yoko and I went about a month ago). The food was excellent. They have live entertainment, so it was a little noisy. We had a nice time visiting on the way there and on the way home. Tomorrow we head out on Brunderman's boat, which they have so kindly offered. The plan is to go to Boca Grand....head to a Jimmy Buffett kind of restaurant only accessible by boat...have lunch...hang out on the beach till sunset and then make our way home. The weather should be sunny and warm....a nice brake for Jane and David, who had to dust snow off their car before leaving home!
TO BE CONTINUED
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Already 52 and Way Behind!
The week has flown by so quickly. After chemo on Friday, I was fine. I could not go golfing because of the surgery to my shoulder, so on Saturday, Yoko and I decided to go to Ft Myers. We took the Lexus to get the oil changed and wheels rotated and went shopping at the new Gulf Coast Town Center. Yoko looked for a dress or gown for the wedding (still nothing) and I bought a suit that was on sale. We had lunch (Chinese) at PF Chang's before picking up the car and heading home. Instead of working on my taxes, I spent Saturday night reading Don Kennedy's new book, "5 AM & Already Behind", which is about how people change bad habits (i.e. procrastination) and getting more out of life. (It is was a fast read and something to look at if you are trying to make changes to your life. You can find it on Amazon.com.)
I could not take my usual morning shower and I was't golfing, so I stayed in a bathrobe all day on Sunday. I got up early and made breakfast (pancakes and bacon) and spent the rest of the day reading another book, "Lung Cancer -- Myths, Facts, Choices and Hope." It is a very comprehensive read (400 pages) recommendable to anyone who has been diagnosed with lung cancer. The funny thing is that there was very little in the book that I had not already read or already known, so I guess I have done a fairly good job at self education.
Monday was a holiday, but I was so sick of sitting around the house that I ended up going to the office at around 10:30 AM and not getting back home until 6 PM. I had several (unscheduled) client meetings and spent most of Monday getting caught up from the missed time on Friday. (It doesn't matter what time it is these days, I am AWAYS behind!)
Tuesday (yesterday) was the first work day of the week. I was busy all day with client meetings and appointments and rushed to make a 6 PM Rotary Board meeting. I was home by 8 PM and in bed last night by 11 PM. (I have a cold (stuffy nose and cough) that I seemed to have picked up last week before chemo even started. I am trying to shake it before I get run down.)
This morning I was up again at 6 AM and at Rotary by 7 AM. After that I went to get a hair cut and a made it into the office by 8:30 AM. I had meetings all day with no break. I guess the good news is that I continue to find plenty of new business. I got home tonight at 7 PM. I can handle a 12 hour day but I don't feel like doing much after I finally get home. The chemo is already starting to make me a little tired at the end of the day and I don't have the level of energy I normally do.
Tomorrow is Thursday and I have another full day planned, including client meetings and calls, some committee work for St Vincent de Paul, and then dinner our tomorrow night with friends. There is no rest for the weary!
On Friday I have chemo again (9 AM to 2 PM) and then we are headed down to Ft Myers to pick up Jane and David. We are really looking forward to this visit. I wish they were going to be here for more than a few days. The plan is to go out to dinner Friday evening; boating with the Brundermans on Saturday, and then Verandah and shopping on Sunday before taking them back to the airport. It will already be Monday and back to work again before you know it!
I probably waste a lot of time and don't get as much done as other people. But I am hard pressed to know what I might do differently to give me more time. When I can find a free moment, I should probably re-read Don's book....right after I do our taxes!
I could not take my usual morning shower and I was't golfing, so I stayed in a bathrobe all day on Sunday. I got up early and made breakfast (pancakes and bacon) and spent the rest of the day reading another book, "Lung Cancer -- Myths, Facts, Choices and Hope." It is a very comprehensive read (400 pages) recommendable to anyone who has been diagnosed with lung cancer. The funny thing is that there was very little in the book that I had not already read or already known, so I guess I have done a fairly good job at self education.
Monday was a holiday, but I was so sick of sitting around the house that I ended up going to the office at around 10:30 AM and not getting back home until 6 PM. I had several (unscheduled) client meetings and spent most of Monday getting caught up from the missed time on Friday. (It doesn't matter what time it is these days, I am AWAYS behind!)
Tuesday (yesterday) was the first work day of the week. I was busy all day with client meetings and appointments and rushed to make a 6 PM Rotary Board meeting. I was home by 8 PM and in bed last night by 11 PM. (I have a cold (stuffy nose and cough) that I seemed to have picked up last week before chemo even started. I am trying to shake it before I get run down.)
This morning I was up again at 6 AM and at Rotary by 7 AM. After that I went to get a hair cut and a made it into the office by 8:30 AM. I had meetings all day with no break. I guess the good news is that I continue to find plenty of new business. I got home tonight at 7 PM. I can handle a 12 hour day but I don't feel like doing much after I finally get home. The chemo is already starting to make me a little tired at the end of the day and I don't have the level of energy I normally do.
Tomorrow is Thursday and I have another full day planned, including client meetings and calls, some committee work for St Vincent de Paul, and then dinner our tomorrow night with friends. There is no rest for the weary!
On Friday I have chemo again (9 AM to 2 PM) and then we are headed down to Ft Myers to pick up Jane and David. We are really looking forward to this visit. I wish they were going to be here for more than a few days. The plan is to go out to dinner Friday evening; boating with the Brundermans on Saturday, and then Verandah and shopping on Sunday before taking them back to the airport. It will already be Monday and back to work again before you know it!
I probably waste a lot of time and don't get as much done as other people. But I am hard pressed to know what I might do differently to give me more time. When I can find a free moment, I should probably re-read Don's book....right after I do our taxes!
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Eric's Final Words Say it All
We went to a party at Mike Riley's house last night. It was for Juli's 50th birthday and a lot of my Rotarian friends and other friends from the community were there. A few of these folks, including Janet Minerich and Sharon Popa, are on my invited readers list and were very complimentary about my writing in this blog. It is nice to know so many of my family and friends are following this story and are concerned.
This morning, like every morning, I woke up and the first thing I did was go to the LCA Survivor website. http://lungcancer.clinicahealth.com/index.pl If you want to gain some insight about lung cancer and what is happening out there, take a look around this site, or better yet, join and get the daily e-mails. The posting I saw this morning brought tears to my eyes and I thought I would share it with you. Here is another community of friends that are giving each other support and comfort. Some of the stories are great and uplifting and others are so sad. The site provides loved ones and caregivers and well as cancer patients a great resource of information. I wanted to share Eric's story with you. He was only married for 8 years to Karen, who is 37 years old. They found lung cancer in Eric about 15 months ago. Karen has had a lot of friends online helping her through this.
Because it is in English I don't know that Yoko would use this website, but maybe my daughters will find it helpful. Here was the posting following Eric's death on January 7th. His last words to his wife were "I love you." Those would be mine to Yoko, my girls, family and friends as well. I love you all.
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ERIC
EricPosted by Karen54 in Family Members / Caregivers Wednesday January 9, 2008 at 07:18 AM
Eric passed away Monday evening at the hospital, he was brought in by ambulance for pain control and to be put on a pump, the dilaudid drip helped some, then early Monday morning he had a seziure and then 10 more and then he said I LOVE YOU and took his last breath... thank you all for all of the support you have given me over the last 15 months of our battle with this disease, I don't know what I would have done some days if I had not found this site and all of you. Karen
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I'm so sorryPosted by pattyp Wednesday January 9, 2008 at 08:23 AM ESTThis is comment #27509.
dear Karen, I'm so sorry for your loss. I lack words. It makes me pause that in the midst of his final struggle, Eric was able to respond to your love for him - bless him for that and many other things. Pat
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Karen, Please Accept My CondolencesPosted by BarbaraEllen Wednesday January 9, 2008 at 08:44 AM ESTThis is comment #27514.
Dear Karen, When I saw your post this morning, my heart became very heavy. The screen blurred from eyes tearing. It always hits hard when reading of the loss of one of our community. That was a beautiful image where Eric told you of his love. Please know that I am here if you need. Barbara
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Re: Karen, Please Accept My CondolencesPosted by 2mmama Wednesday January 9, 2008 at 09:28 AM ESTThis is comment #27518. It was posted in reply to comment #27514.
Karen, I do not know you or what youve been through but I wanted to express my sadness for your loss. What a beautiful, lasting gift that he thought of you in his last moments. Hold tight to that. I will say a prayer for you and your family. Christi
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I am sorry for your loss Posted by peyz33 Wednesday January 9, 2008 at 09:59 AM ESTThis is comment #27521.
This is very sad news. I always try and look for good news on this site and am so heartbroken to see your post. Only good thing is that he is at peace and pain free now. May God bless you Karen and see you thru the pain of this loss. Karen
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I'm so sadPosted by laban Wednesday January 9, 2008 at 12:26 PM ESTThis is comment #27530.
Karen, I am so sad that you have lost your beloved Eric. You have been the strongest and bravest woman through his struggle. Please accept my most sincere condolences. Please allow God to hold you in his arms and keep you up........and please take some time for yourself. Laurie
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So sorryPosted by StacieK Wednesday January 9, 2008 at 12:48 PM ESTThis is comment #27531.
Oh Karen I am so sorry and I know there are no words that can take away the pain, but I hope it will bring comfort knowing so many are thinking of you and praying for you. Your love and memories of Eric will help get you through this and knowing he is no longer in any pain. May God bless you and your family and give you strength. Sincerely, Stacie
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Your LossPosted by njguy Wednesday January 9, 2008 at 04:34 PM ESTThis is comment #27537.
Hi Karen. I'm so very sorry for your loss. Please know, you are not alone. You always have a family here to turn to whenever you need one. Also know, Eric is now safe and without pain. It was his time to cross and it sounds like he knew that by turning to you and telling you that he Loved you. As time goes by, this will become easier to deal with. And please know, Eric will always be around you. Have an open mind and open heart and you'll see signs that he is there. Below is a quote I always liked. It helped me get through losing my Mom 1 year ago. I hope it has some meaning to you as well. All my best. Ray Each of us on the Earth has work to do. That is why we are still here. We should be grieving for ourselves that so much is left to learn. There are so many lessons that need to be experienced before we can walk through that portal to a world where no tears live. Instead, we grieve for the very people who have finished their work and dropped the heavy burden that is life of Earth. They have been rewarded for their lives, whether long and tortured or short and confusing.
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so sorryPosted by Kerstin Wednesday January 9, 2008 at 07:06 PM ESTThis is comment #27545.
Hi Karen, I have been following you guys for a while and I am so very sorry for your loss and there is nothing anybody can say to make you feel better. knowing, that you knew a wonderful man that loved you and spending time together, no matter how much will always be with you. God bless you, Kerstin
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To KarenPosted by Bette_Tx Wednesday January 9, 2008 at 07:13 PM ESTThis is comment #27547.
Dear Karen, I am so sorry for your loss. My condolences to you. You have been through alot these past 15 months and I pray you will find some peace and solice in the coming days. I'm glad Eric was able to express his love to you before he passed away. Take care, Bette
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Your husbandPosted by Bren Thursday January 10, 2008 at 09:07 AM ESTThis is comment #27568.
Karen: I am so sorry for your loss. I am a caregiver also of a mom that has stage 4 lung cancer and we dont know what the future holds either....but I am sure that through all of this you both fought a good fight. Just think... no more suffering for him...you'll be the one now that needs all of our prayers and we will have to all pray that God will give you the strength in the coming days. You know that he is our strength and he provides us to gain strength from different sources. God bless you and your family. Brenda
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Peace at lastPosted by Lucky Thursday January 10, 2008 at 10:07 AM ESTThis is comment #27576.
Dear Karen, I have read your comments about Eric over the past year. I understand too well what you must be feeling. How wonderful for you that your heard Eric tell you that he loves you. I' so sorry that this has all happened. I am happy that your Eric is at peace and without this terrible disease. My best wishes for you and your family at this time that you come through this with your wonderful memories of Eric. Robin W.
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sorrowPosted by jean Thursday January 10, 2008 at 10:22 AM ESTThis is comment #27578.
Karen, So very sorrow for your loss. You and yours will be in my thoughts and prayers during the coming days. May you find comfort and peace during this time. Jean
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Re: EricPosted by Pelley Thursday January 10, 2008 at 10:50 AM ESTThis is comment #27581.
Karen, Just wanted to say that my heart feels so heavy for you and your family right now. If you ever need to talk, please come here knowing that we are here for you always. Take care, Carrie
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EricPosted by meadowbreeze Thursday January 10, 2008 at 10:53 AM ESTThis is comment #27583.
Dear Karen, My deepest sympathy to you and your family. God Bless you Fondly, Linda
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CondolencesPosted by robinwd Thursday January 10, 2008 at 03:34 PM ESTThis is comment #27601.
Karen, My deepest sympathy on your loss. Eric put up such a brave fight, and you were with him every step of the way. Please take care of yourself. Know that Eric will always be with you and our Lord will be by your side as you go forward. God bless you and your family. Lynn
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So sorry, Karen...Posted by jmichelle Thursday January 10, 2008 at 03:40 PM ESTThis is comment #27602.
Dear Karen, I was sobbing as I read your email. I have been following your story about Eric's battle for some time now. I feel terribly sad for your loss and am so sorry for what you have had to endure. How beautiful that his last thoughts and words were for you. Hold on to that love and let it help you through this difficult time. He will always be with you and I know he will want you to be happy. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing. There are so many wonderful people who will help you through this difficult time. Take Care and God Bless, Jodi
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So SorryPosted by myrtle Thursday January 10, 2008 at 05:08 PM ESTThis is comment #27607.
Karen, I have followed your story and read about your struggle for many months. I am so sorry to learn of Eric's passing and my thoughts and prayers are with you. Myrtle
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Eric's DeathPosted by Faith Thursday January 10, 2008 at 05:09 PM ESTThis is comment #27608.
Dear Karen, I can not tell you how sorry I am. I have been looking for updates about Eric for what seems to be a long time, and now this. Please accept my sincere sympathy. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I just don't have the words. Sincerely, Joanne
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concolencesPosted by Don_M Thursday January 10, 2008 at 05:19 PM ESTThis is comment #27609.
Karen, please accept my condolences for your loss. If my last words were "I love you", that would be a good death indeed. don M
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EricPosted by Toddy Thursday January 10, 2008 at 05:35 PM ESTThis is comment #27610.
Dear Karen, Please forgive my being slow to respond, my heart breaks a little with each loss and words always fail me. Please accept my deepest condolences. May God bless you and all the care givers for it's you who when all is said and done continue to suffer the most. Wishing you strength at this time, Toddy
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God's lovePosted by spirit1125 Thursday January 10, 2008 at 07:16 PM ESTThis is comment #27614.
Hello Karen.... just to tell you how sorry I am. May God keep you in his arms....through your time of sorrow... Maryanne
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Dear KarenPosted by irmaly Thursday January 10, 2008 at 07:27 PM ESTThis is comment #27617.
I am so sorry for your loss. You and Eric are an inspiration to all of us here. This walk through life can be a hard one, and nothing is harder than what you and Eric have been through. But how lucky he was to have you by his side and you to have him by yours. Eric will always be with you, and so will all of us here. Pam
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My Deepest CondolancesPosted by Jolene Thursday January 10, 2008 at 10:46 PM ESTThis is comment #27634.
Karen: I am so very, very sorry that Eric did not win his battle with lung cancer. How perfect that the last words on his lips were words of love and caring to you. You are so very young to have to go through the loss of a spouse. You are strong and that strength will help you in many difficult days ahead. May God give you comfort as your broken heart heals and beautiful memories that can sustain you until you meet again on Heaven's shores. Jolene
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So SorryPosted by HrtOfGold Thursday January 10, 2008 at 11:13 PM ESTThis is comment #27636.
Karen, I am so sorry for your loss. I have followed your post since May when my B/F of 7 yrs was diagnosis. I sit here and cry not knowing his fate, and yet feel your loss as well. Bless you and your family at this time Lynn
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Your LossPosted by janetrn Friday January 11, 2008 at 06:49 AM ESTThis is comment #27640.
Dear Karen, Although we never chatted before and I do not know your journey I am so sorry to hear about your husband. It always makes me sad when I read this and each time it gets more difficult for me. I hope you had some happy times and that you have friends and family to support you. No words can make it better for you but know that you have many people, including me, that never met you but feel your loss. I wish you well. Regard Janet
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EricPosted by nyka Friday January 11, 2008 at 06:56 AM ESTThis is comment #27641.
Karen, I am so very sorry for your loss. Your devotion and advocacy were an inspiration. May Eric rest peacefully. And I wish for peace for you and your family during this difficult time.
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So SorryPosted by dadsgirl Friday January 11, 2008 at 10:57 AM ESTThis is comment #27654.
Karen I am so sorry to hear Eric has passed away. I pray you find peace . You were an amazing caregiver to Eric nobody could have done more that you did. Be gentle with yourself in these coming months.I lost my Dad 2 months ago so I know there arent any words so I ll just send you love and prayers Lisa
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To KarenPosted by jeanluc Friday January 11, 2008 at 07:33 PM ESTThis is comment #27669.
Karen, I have followed your posts about Eric's and your journey. I was so sad to read of Eric's passing. I am currently travelling the same path with my own husband. I know this has been an incredibly difficult time for you. You have shown so much strength, courage, compassion and love. I have learned so much from you and Eric and I am in awe of your devotion and care for him. You and Eric were blessed to have each other. You are an amazing women. Surround yourself with love. It is time to take care of yourself. You deserve the best that life has to offer. jean
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My sympathiesPosted by arlene Friday January 11, 2008 at 08:14 PM ESTThis is comment #27671.
Dear Karen- i wish you the strength to get through what the next weeks will bring to you and your family and I hope and pray that you can find peace. I am so sorry for your loss of Eric. Hold fast to all of your happy memories and I believe you will be together again someday. Arlene
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God bless youPosted by lisadean Sunday January 13, 2008 at 01:29 PM ESTThis is comment #27730.
My heart is with you and your family... God Bless You.. Lisa
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BlessingsPosted by Sharon Monday January 14, 2008 at 01:29 PM ESTThis is comment #27806.
Blessings to you and yours. My heart is with you. Please know that you are lifted up by this community. SharonS
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EricPosted by greccogirl Monday January 14, 2008 at 05:18 PM ESTThis is comment #27817.
I am so very, very sorry. There are no words at a time like this. Eric is in a better place now, although at times I know that isn't much comfort. I am praying for you and him. Hang in there. Deb
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My Deepest Sympathy to YouPosted by WendyG Thursday January 17, 2008 at 08:44 AM ESTThis is comment #27947.
Karen- I am sorry to hear of Eric's passing. You and he led such an inspiring battle and I can only strive to be as excellent a caregiver to my mom as you have been for Eric. God Bless Eric. God comfort you. Wendy
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Re: EricPosted by Ray Monday February 4, 2008 at 09:50 AM ESTThis is comment #28951.
Dear Karen Please accept my belated condolances. I don't check here as often as I used to. I am trying to jump start my life. This disease is terrible and I just don't know what to tell you. Someday someone will be sent to correct this injustice. Ray
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Re: EricPosted by smiths-cindy Monday February 4, 2008 at 01:14 PM ESTThis is comment #28964. It was posted in reply to comment #28951.
I am so sorrry about the death of your dearly beloved husband, Eric. And, sorry this message is so late. My health complications since last Oct. have made typing almost impossible. I love you all, Cindy
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EricPosted by SabineTawni Friday February 15, 2008 at 09:11 PM ESTThis is comment #29621.
Dear Karen: I am so terribly sorry about Eric. I just found out as I have been away quite frequently over the last month or so. I have followed your battle for many months now, and it is just heartbreaking to see someone so young lose the battle. I am so very touched that his last words were I LOVE YOU. Again, I am so very sorry. Love, SabineTawni
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This morning, like every morning, I woke up and the first thing I did was go to the LCA Survivor website. http://lungcancer.clinicahealth.com/index.pl If you want to gain some insight about lung cancer and what is happening out there, take a look around this site, or better yet, join and get the daily e-mails. The posting I saw this morning brought tears to my eyes and I thought I would share it with you. Here is another community of friends that are giving each other support and comfort. Some of the stories are great and uplifting and others are so sad. The site provides loved ones and caregivers and well as cancer patients a great resource of information. I wanted to share Eric's story with you. He was only married for 8 years to Karen, who is 37 years old. They found lung cancer in Eric about 15 months ago. Karen has had a lot of friends online helping her through this.
Because it is in English I don't know that Yoko would use this website, but maybe my daughters will find it helpful. Here was the posting following Eric's death on January 7th. His last words to his wife were "I love you." Those would be mine to Yoko, my girls, family and friends as well. I love you all.
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ERIC
EricPosted by Karen54 in Family Members / Caregivers Wednesday January 9, 2008 at 07:18 AM
Eric passed away Monday evening at the hospital, he was brought in by ambulance for pain control and to be put on a pump, the dilaudid drip helped some, then early Monday morning he had a seziure and then 10 more and then he said I LOVE YOU and took his last breath... thank you all for all of the support you have given me over the last 15 months of our battle with this disease, I don't know what I would have done some days if I had not found this site and all of you. Karen
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I'm so sorryPosted by pattyp Wednesday January 9, 2008 at 08:23 AM ESTThis is comment #27509.
dear Karen, I'm so sorry for your loss. I lack words. It makes me pause that in the midst of his final struggle, Eric was able to respond to your love for him - bless him for that and many other things. Pat
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Karen, Please Accept My CondolencesPosted by BarbaraEllen Wednesday January 9, 2008 at 08:44 AM ESTThis is comment #27514.
Dear Karen, When I saw your post this morning, my heart became very heavy. The screen blurred from eyes tearing. It always hits hard when reading of the loss of one of our community. That was a beautiful image where Eric told you of his love. Please know that I am here if you need. Barbara
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Re: Karen, Please Accept My CondolencesPosted by 2mmama Wednesday January 9, 2008 at 09:28 AM ESTThis is comment #27518. It was posted in reply to comment #27514.
Karen, I do not know you or what youve been through but I wanted to express my sadness for your loss. What a beautiful, lasting gift that he thought of you in his last moments. Hold tight to that. I will say a prayer for you and your family. Christi
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I am sorry for your loss Posted by peyz33 Wednesday January 9, 2008 at 09:59 AM ESTThis is comment #27521.
This is very sad news. I always try and look for good news on this site and am so heartbroken to see your post. Only good thing is that he is at peace and pain free now. May God bless you Karen and see you thru the pain of this loss. Karen
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I'm so sadPosted by laban Wednesday January 9, 2008 at 12:26 PM ESTThis is comment #27530.
Karen, I am so sad that you have lost your beloved Eric. You have been the strongest and bravest woman through his struggle. Please accept my most sincere condolences. Please allow God to hold you in his arms and keep you up........and please take some time for yourself. Laurie
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So sorryPosted by StacieK Wednesday January 9, 2008 at 12:48 PM ESTThis is comment #27531.
Oh Karen I am so sorry and I know there are no words that can take away the pain, but I hope it will bring comfort knowing so many are thinking of you and praying for you. Your love and memories of Eric will help get you through this and knowing he is no longer in any pain. May God bless you and your family and give you strength. Sincerely, Stacie
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Your LossPosted by njguy Wednesday January 9, 2008 at 04:34 PM ESTThis is comment #27537.
Hi Karen. I'm so very sorry for your loss. Please know, you are not alone. You always have a family here to turn to whenever you need one. Also know, Eric is now safe and without pain. It was his time to cross and it sounds like he knew that by turning to you and telling you that he Loved you. As time goes by, this will become easier to deal with. And please know, Eric will always be around you. Have an open mind and open heart and you'll see signs that he is there. Below is a quote I always liked. It helped me get through losing my Mom 1 year ago. I hope it has some meaning to you as well. All my best. Ray Each of us on the Earth has work to do. That is why we are still here. We should be grieving for ourselves that so much is left to learn. There are so many lessons that need to be experienced before we can walk through that portal to a world where no tears live. Instead, we grieve for the very people who have finished their work and dropped the heavy burden that is life of Earth. They have been rewarded for their lives, whether long and tortured or short and confusing.
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so sorryPosted by Kerstin Wednesday January 9, 2008 at 07:06 PM ESTThis is comment #27545.
Hi Karen, I have been following you guys for a while and I am so very sorry for your loss and there is nothing anybody can say to make you feel better. knowing, that you knew a wonderful man that loved you and spending time together, no matter how much will always be with you. God bless you, Kerstin
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To KarenPosted by Bette_Tx Wednesday January 9, 2008 at 07:13 PM ESTThis is comment #27547.
Dear Karen, I am so sorry for your loss. My condolences to you. You have been through alot these past 15 months and I pray you will find some peace and solice in the coming days. I'm glad Eric was able to express his love to you before he passed away. Take care, Bette
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Your husbandPosted by Bren Thursday January 10, 2008 at 09:07 AM ESTThis is comment #27568.
Karen: I am so sorry for your loss. I am a caregiver also of a mom that has stage 4 lung cancer and we dont know what the future holds either....but I am sure that through all of this you both fought a good fight. Just think... no more suffering for him...you'll be the one now that needs all of our prayers and we will have to all pray that God will give you the strength in the coming days. You know that he is our strength and he provides us to gain strength from different sources. God bless you and your family. Brenda
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Peace at lastPosted by Lucky Thursday January 10, 2008 at 10:07 AM ESTThis is comment #27576.
Dear Karen, I have read your comments about Eric over the past year. I understand too well what you must be feeling. How wonderful for you that your heard Eric tell you that he loves you. I' so sorry that this has all happened. I am happy that your Eric is at peace and without this terrible disease. My best wishes for you and your family at this time that you come through this with your wonderful memories of Eric. Robin W.
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sorrowPosted by jean Thursday January 10, 2008 at 10:22 AM ESTThis is comment #27578.
Karen, So very sorrow for your loss. You and yours will be in my thoughts and prayers during the coming days. May you find comfort and peace during this time. Jean
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Re: EricPosted by Pelley Thursday January 10, 2008 at 10:50 AM ESTThis is comment #27581.
Karen, Just wanted to say that my heart feels so heavy for you and your family right now. If you ever need to talk, please come here knowing that we are here for you always. Take care, Carrie
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EricPosted by meadowbreeze Thursday January 10, 2008 at 10:53 AM ESTThis is comment #27583.
Dear Karen, My deepest sympathy to you and your family. God Bless you Fondly, Linda
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CondolencesPosted by robinwd Thursday January 10, 2008 at 03:34 PM ESTThis is comment #27601.
Karen, My deepest sympathy on your loss. Eric put up such a brave fight, and you were with him every step of the way. Please take care of yourself. Know that Eric will always be with you and our Lord will be by your side as you go forward. God bless you and your family. Lynn
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So sorry, Karen...Posted by jmichelle Thursday January 10, 2008 at 03:40 PM ESTThis is comment #27602.
Dear Karen, I was sobbing as I read your email. I have been following your story about Eric's battle for some time now. I feel terribly sad for your loss and am so sorry for what you have had to endure. How beautiful that his last thoughts and words were for you. Hold on to that love and let it help you through this difficult time. He will always be with you and I know he will want you to be happy. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing. There are so many wonderful people who will help you through this difficult time. Take Care and God Bless, Jodi
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So SorryPosted by myrtle Thursday January 10, 2008 at 05:08 PM ESTThis is comment #27607.
Karen, I have followed your story and read about your struggle for many months. I am so sorry to learn of Eric's passing and my thoughts and prayers are with you. Myrtle
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Eric's DeathPosted by Faith Thursday January 10, 2008 at 05:09 PM ESTThis is comment #27608.
Dear Karen, I can not tell you how sorry I am. I have been looking for updates about Eric for what seems to be a long time, and now this. Please accept my sincere sympathy. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I just don't have the words. Sincerely, Joanne
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concolencesPosted by Don_M Thursday January 10, 2008 at 05:19 PM ESTThis is comment #27609.
Karen, please accept my condolences for your loss. If my last words were "I love you", that would be a good death indeed. don M
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EricPosted by Toddy Thursday January 10, 2008 at 05:35 PM ESTThis is comment #27610.
Dear Karen, Please forgive my being slow to respond, my heart breaks a little with each loss and words always fail me. Please accept my deepest condolences. May God bless you and all the care givers for it's you who when all is said and done continue to suffer the most. Wishing you strength at this time, Toddy
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God's lovePosted by spirit1125 Thursday January 10, 2008 at 07:16 PM ESTThis is comment #27614.
Hello Karen.... just to tell you how sorry I am. May God keep you in his arms....through your time of sorrow... Maryanne
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Dear KarenPosted by irmaly Thursday January 10, 2008 at 07:27 PM ESTThis is comment #27617.
I am so sorry for your loss. You and Eric are an inspiration to all of us here. This walk through life can be a hard one, and nothing is harder than what you and Eric have been through. But how lucky he was to have you by his side and you to have him by yours. Eric will always be with you, and so will all of us here. Pam
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My Deepest CondolancesPosted by Jolene Thursday January 10, 2008 at 10:46 PM ESTThis is comment #27634.
Karen: I am so very, very sorry that Eric did not win his battle with lung cancer. How perfect that the last words on his lips were words of love and caring to you. You are so very young to have to go through the loss of a spouse. You are strong and that strength will help you in many difficult days ahead. May God give you comfort as your broken heart heals and beautiful memories that can sustain you until you meet again on Heaven's shores. Jolene
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So SorryPosted by HrtOfGold Thursday January 10, 2008 at 11:13 PM ESTThis is comment #27636.
Karen, I am so sorry for your loss. I have followed your post since May when my B/F of 7 yrs was diagnosis. I sit here and cry not knowing his fate, and yet feel your loss as well. Bless you and your family at this time Lynn
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Your LossPosted by janetrn Friday January 11, 2008 at 06:49 AM ESTThis is comment #27640.
Dear Karen, Although we never chatted before and I do not know your journey I am so sorry to hear about your husband. It always makes me sad when I read this and each time it gets more difficult for me. I hope you had some happy times and that you have friends and family to support you. No words can make it better for you but know that you have many people, including me, that never met you but feel your loss. I wish you well. Regard Janet
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EricPosted by nyka Friday January 11, 2008 at 06:56 AM ESTThis is comment #27641.
Karen, I am so very sorry for your loss. Your devotion and advocacy were an inspiration. May Eric rest peacefully. And I wish for peace for you and your family during this difficult time.
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So SorryPosted by dadsgirl Friday January 11, 2008 at 10:57 AM ESTThis is comment #27654.
Karen I am so sorry to hear Eric has passed away. I pray you find peace . You were an amazing caregiver to Eric nobody could have done more that you did. Be gentle with yourself in these coming months.I lost my Dad 2 months ago so I know there arent any words so I ll just send you love and prayers Lisa
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To KarenPosted by jeanluc Friday January 11, 2008 at 07:33 PM ESTThis is comment #27669.
Karen, I have followed your posts about Eric's and your journey. I was so sad to read of Eric's passing. I am currently travelling the same path with my own husband. I know this has been an incredibly difficult time for you. You have shown so much strength, courage, compassion and love. I have learned so much from you and Eric and I am in awe of your devotion and care for him. You and Eric were blessed to have each other. You are an amazing women. Surround yourself with love. It is time to take care of yourself. You deserve the best that life has to offer. jean
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My sympathiesPosted by arlene Friday January 11, 2008 at 08:14 PM ESTThis is comment #27671.
Dear Karen- i wish you the strength to get through what the next weeks will bring to you and your family and I hope and pray that you can find peace. I am so sorry for your loss of Eric. Hold fast to all of your happy memories and I believe you will be together again someday. Arlene
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God bless youPosted by lisadean Sunday January 13, 2008 at 01:29 PM ESTThis is comment #27730.
My heart is with you and your family... God Bless You.. Lisa
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BlessingsPosted by Sharon Monday January 14, 2008 at 01:29 PM ESTThis is comment #27806.
Blessings to you and yours. My heart is with you. Please know that you are lifted up by this community. SharonS
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EricPosted by greccogirl Monday January 14, 2008 at 05:18 PM ESTThis is comment #27817.
I am so very, very sorry. There are no words at a time like this. Eric is in a better place now, although at times I know that isn't much comfort. I am praying for you and him. Hang in there. Deb
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My Deepest Sympathy to YouPosted by WendyG Thursday January 17, 2008 at 08:44 AM ESTThis is comment #27947.
Karen- I am sorry to hear of Eric's passing. You and he led such an inspiring battle and I can only strive to be as excellent a caregiver to my mom as you have been for Eric. God Bless Eric. God comfort you. Wendy
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Re: EricPosted by Ray Monday February 4, 2008 at 09:50 AM ESTThis is comment #28951.
Dear Karen Please accept my belated condolances. I don't check here as often as I used to. I am trying to jump start my life. This disease is terrible and I just don't know what to tell you. Someday someone will be sent to correct this injustice. Ray
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Re: EricPosted by smiths-cindy Monday February 4, 2008 at 01:14 PM ESTThis is comment #28964. It was posted in reply to comment #28951.
I am so sorrry about the death of your dearly beloved husband, Eric. And, sorry this message is so late. My health complications since last Oct. have made typing almost impossible. I love you all, Cindy
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EricPosted by SabineTawni Friday February 15, 2008 at 09:11 PM ESTThis is comment #29621.
Dear Karen: I am so terribly sorry about Eric. I just found out as I have been away quite frequently over the last month or so. I have followed your battle for many months now, and it is just heartbreaking to see someone so young lose the battle. I am so very touched that his last words were I LOVE YOU. Again, I am so very sorry. Love, SabineTawni
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Friday, February 15, 2008
Consolidation Chemo Update
My life these days is defined by doctor visits. Let's see, I saw my ENT, Dr Moss, on Tuesday, Dr. Walden (audiologist) on Wednesday, Dr. Rioux (surgeon) on Thursday, and today I had the implant done followed by chemo, so I got to see Dr. Rioux again and Dr. Lunin (oncologist). The implant procedure went fine. My only regret is that I am not going to be able to play golf for a few days and this is a long weekend! (I have off on President's day.)
There is really nothing exciting to report. I had the surgery this morning at Gulfcoast Point surgery center. It is a very nice, modern facility right next to Fawcett Hospital. Yoko and I arrived at 8 AM, I filled out more paperwork, and we were immediately shown a prep room. I got changed into a hospital gown and the nurse came in to prep me, which included running an IV of saline and hooking me up to the machine that beep beep beeps for your heart rate (84) and automatically takes your blood pressure (111/70) every few minutes. Then, of course, we waited. Every couple of minutes someone would come in and ask a few medical question, the favorite ones being "did you eat this morning" and "are you allergic to any drugs". Finally, someone came in to say that they were ready to give me a drug that would make me sleep....I remember saying "good" around 9 AM and that's about it....After that I woke up in the recovery room almost 2 hours later.
Yoko took me directly from Gulfpoint Surgery Center to Florida Cancer Specialists for chemo. We got there around 11:30 AM. The nurses there drew blood and took my weight (160) and I spoke with Scott Lunin briefly. I told him I had the start of a cold and wondered if that would be any problem. He was aware that a bug was going around but he did not seem too concerned and neither am I. Here is my blood cell count as of today, compared to November 29th, the end of my last chemo.
Result Value (Previous) Normal Range (Bold is out of normal range)
WBC 8.8 (4.1) 4.2 - 10.0
ANC (3.4) 1.4 - 6.5
Gran% 85.2 (82.7) High 39 - 78
Gran# 7.5 ( ) High 1 - 6.5
HCT 41.6 (36.3) 41 - 51
Hgb 14.1 (12.1) 14 -18
Lymph # .0.9 (0.5) Low 1.2 - 3.4
Lymph% 9.8 (12.6) Low 15 - 40
MCH 32.0 (28.2) 27 - 34
MCV 94.6 (84.7)High 80 - 94
MCHC 33.9 (33.3) 32 - 36
Mono# 0.4 (0.2) 0.0 - 0.6
Mono% 5.0 (4.7) 0.0- 10
Plat 252 (259) 140- 440
RBC 4.4 (4.29)Low 4.5 - 6.4
RDW 14.4 (17.2) 11.5 - 15.0
As you can see my count is back to mostly normal after taking two months off. Each week I will put in my new count and you will be able to track any problems and the weekly fall of my RBC and WBC. My red blood cell (RBC) is just slightly below normal. My white count (WBC) is right in there on the high end of the range, so I should be OK to fight a cold this week if I need to do that.
As far as today's chemo treatment goes, the drugs they gave me in order were:
Aloxi 0.25 mg (anti nausea)
Decadron 20mg (sterroid)
Potassium CL 10 meq
Magnesium sulfate 500mg
Mannitol 12.5mg (diuretic agent)
Cisplatin 60mg (platinum based chemo agent)
Potassium CL 10 meg
Magnesium Sulfate 500mg
Normal Saline 250cc
Navelbine 40mg (interfers with cell reproduction chemo agent)
(I was disappointed not to get any benedryl, as I was looking forward to sitting in the sun and sleeping.) This was a 10 bagger and took about 5 hours to complete. It turned out that one of my elderly clients was being infused. I got the chair next to them, so there was no hiding the fact that I am a cancer patient.
Yoko picked me up at the cancer center at about 4 PM and we went directly to Walgreens to pick up medication for pain, should the incision where I have the port start to bother me. The pain medication they game me is oxycodone (the good stuff). I have not taken any as I am currently pain free. Hopefully I won't need to take any.
Yoko made roasted chicken, mashed potaoe, gravey and jello salad for dinner, which was great. I cleaned my plate and feel fine tonight. After dinner, I turned on the TV and fell asleep. I woke up at around 11 PM and am now wide awake, so I thought I would write this blog.
We have nothing exciting going on this weekend. Tomorrow night we will go to Juli Harley's 50th birthday party at Mike Riley's house. Other than that, the plan is to lay around this weekend and see how I am affected (if at all) by the chemo. I am hopeful that this new regimen will work well in fighting off any remaining cancer cells and be safe enough that I can finish it without any of the debilitating side effect.
Your prayers and good wishes are working. Don't stop!
There is really nothing exciting to report. I had the surgery this morning at Gulfcoast Point surgery center. It is a very nice, modern facility right next to Fawcett Hospital. Yoko and I arrived at 8 AM, I filled out more paperwork, and we were immediately shown a prep room. I got changed into a hospital gown and the nurse came in to prep me, which included running an IV of saline and hooking me up to the machine that beep beep beeps for your heart rate (84) and automatically takes your blood pressure (111/70) every few minutes. Then, of course, we waited. Every couple of minutes someone would come in and ask a few medical question, the favorite ones being "did you eat this morning" and "are you allergic to any drugs". Finally, someone came in to say that they were ready to give me a drug that would make me sleep....I remember saying "good" around 9 AM and that's about it....After that I woke up in the recovery room almost 2 hours later.
Yoko took me directly from Gulfpoint Surgery Center to Florida Cancer Specialists for chemo. We got there around 11:30 AM. The nurses there drew blood and took my weight (160) and I spoke with Scott Lunin briefly. I told him I had the start of a cold and wondered if that would be any problem. He was aware that a bug was going around but he did not seem too concerned and neither am I. Here is my blood cell count as of today, compared to November 29th, the end of my last chemo.
Result Value (Previous) Normal Range (Bold is out of normal range)
WBC 8.8 (4.1) 4.2 - 10.0
ANC (3.4) 1.4 - 6.5
Gran% 85.2 (82.7) High 39 - 78
Gran# 7.5 ( ) High 1 - 6.5
HCT 41.6 (36.3) 41 - 51
Hgb 14.1 (12.1) 14 -18
Lymph # .0.9 (0.5) Low 1.2 - 3.4
Lymph% 9.8 (12.6) Low 15 - 40
MCH 32.0 (28.2) 27 - 34
MCV 94.6 (84.7)High 80 - 94
MCHC 33.9 (33.3) 32 - 36
Mono# 0.4 (0.2) 0.0 - 0.6
Mono% 5.0 (4.7) 0.0- 10
Plat 252 (259) 140- 440
RBC 4.4 (4.29)Low 4.5 - 6.4
RDW 14.4 (17.2) 11.5 - 15.0
As you can see my count is back to mostly normal after taking two months off. Each week I will put in my new count and you will be able to track any problems and the weekly fall of my RBC and WBC. My red blood cell (RBC) is just slightly below normal. My white count (WBC) is right in there on the high end of the range, so I should be OK to fight a cold this week if I need to do that.
As far as today's chemo treatment goes, the drugs they gave me in order were:
Aloxi 0.25 mg (anti nausea)
Decadron 20mg (sterroid)
Potassium CL 10 meq
Magnesium sulfate 500mg
Mannitol 12.5mg (diuretic agent)
Cisplatin 60mg (platinum based chemo agent)
Potassium CL 10 meg
Magnesium Sulfate 500mg
Normal Saline 250cc
Navelbine 40mg (interfers with cell reproduction chemo agent)
(I was disappointed not to get any benedryl, as I was looking forward to sitting in the sun and sleeping.) This was a 10 bagger and took about 5 hours to complete. It turned out that one of my elderly clients was being infused. I got the chair next to them, so there was no hiding the fact that I am a cancer patient.
Yoko picked me up at the cancer center at about 4 PM and we went directly to Walgreens to pick up medication for pain, should the incision where I have the port start to bother me. The pain medication they game me is oxycodone (the good stuff). I have not taken any as I am currently pain free. Hopefully I won't need to take any.
Yoko made roasted chicken, mashed potaoe, gravey and jello salad for dinner, which was great. I cleaned my plate and feel fine tonight. After dinner, I turned on the TV and fell asleep. I woke up at around 11 PM and am now wide awake, so I thought I would write this blog.
We have nothing exciting going on this weekend. Tomorrow night we will go to Juli Harley's 50th birthday party at Mike Riley's house. Other than that, the plan is to lay around this weekend and see how I am affected (if at all) by the chemo. I am hopeful that this new regimen will work well in fighting off any remaining cancer cells and be safe enough that I can finish it without any of the debilitating side effect.
Your prayers and good wishes are working. Don't stop!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Priorities
I remember when I went to work in Japan at the age of 23. I was what the Japanese call a "moretsu shinnyu shaiin" which roughly translates "over boiling new employee." These are people who start their new job and do whatever it takes to get the job done well. I was frequently in the office early and stayed late into the night. At Penn State I worked very hard to finish my MBA quickly because I had a family and no money. At Arthur Andersen I would often do "all nighters" to complete projects on time. I worked like a dog to make partner. I guess when you are young and motivated and starting a career, there is a certain virtue in being "moretsu." Then I started my own business, thinking I could parlay what I had into something substantial and in the end I lost everything -- except my family, who helped get us through. In the end, the only people who REALLY care for you is family and the only thing that REALLY matters is what you do for them and others.
Now that I have developed cancer and face a significantly shorter life expectancy my priorities have changed. Called it the wisdom of age, but a young person should stop and think before putting body and soul into "getting ahead". My views on this have really changed over the past 10 years -- since I returned from Japan without a dime to my name. I feel like I put so much effort into the work I was doing, it defined my life -- and then I lost it all. After nearly 20 years of working I had NOTHING to show for all the effort. It occurred to me -- do I really want to be defined by what I do to earn a living or is there is something I want out of life that is more important? I decided the one thing I never want to risk and never want to loose is family.
It just so happens that a friend of mine sent me a 3-minute Internet movie called the dash that says it all. If you have not seen this yet, it is worth watching. Maybe you'll be inspired earlier in life to think seriously about your priorities.
The Dash
In July 2006, a short 3-minute movie was launched on the Internet called The Dash. Since then, over 40 million people from around the world have watched it; and over 20,000 a day continue to watch it as a result of people passing it along .
The movie has been more successful than anyone could have ever imagined. More importantly, however, it has inspired many, many people to reflect on their lives and ask that all important question, 'Are my priorities where they should be?' I hope you enjoy this movie and share it with those who are close to you.
http://www.dashpoemmovie.com/
Breast Implants for Valentines Day!
I got a novel Valentine's Day gift today -- a breast implant to be inserted tomorrow. Don't get excited, it's not what you think. I am having a "central line" put in my chest so that the nurses have an easier time accessing my veins for chemo and bloodwork. Getting a central line (mediport) is pretty standard procedure for cancer patients facing a long treatment regimen. I think sixteen weeks qualifies.
Actually, my sister Jane (who is an RN) was asking about it. Janie asked if I was getting a central line and was somewhat surprised when I told her that we had not discussed this with Dr. Lunin since I was first diagnosed in October. She said that Vinorelbine is nasty stuff that it should be administered through a port. So, this morning I spoke with Scott about it and he agreed. He called and we arranged immediately to have it done by my good friend (from Rotary) Dr. John Rioux. John is chief of surgery at Fawcett Hospital here. (By the way, you will not be surprised to know that Scott has been calling me twice a day (morning and evening) to see if the medication for shingles/neuropathy is working. I am happy to report that it is. I am 80% better than I was on Monday.)
Scott called Dr. John while I was waiting on the phone. I could only hear what Scott was saying but the conversation made me chuckle and went something like this: "This is Dr. Lunin calling for Dr. Rioux....Oh, he's in surgery? Can you put me through to him in there? (Long Pause) Hey John, this is Scott. What kind of surgery are you doing this morning....Oh really? (Pause) No... I could never be a surgeon. I'm too short and I'm affraid I might sneeze on the patient... Hey listen, Tom Cappiello a friend of your's, needs a port. Can you squeeze him in today or tomorrow?"
After Scott made the arrangements I went to John's office this morning to do the paperwork; I go under the knife tomorrow morning at 8 AM. This is an outpatient procedure that should only take about 30 minutes. I get a local that will put me out. John tells me I won't feel or remember anything. I told John that my main concern was that the device not interfere with my golf swing, at which point we began to examine my swing to discover the optimum point of insertion! With any luck, this little procedure may actually IMPROVE my game.
I will go to chemo directly from surgery. To be honest, I am glad to be restarting chemo. I like the quite time it gives me and the solarium at Florida Cancer Center is very comfortable. So tomorrow, after getting the port, I am headed to Scott Lunin's shop for my first consolidation treatment. The timing of this all worked out very well. Everything gets done on a Friday, giving me one day to recover. With any luck, I can be out on Sunday morning testing out my new swing. If not, I have off on President's Day, which is Monday. Thankfully, I don't expect to get gifts on President's Day.
My love to you all! Hope you had a wonderful Valentine's Day!
Actually, my sister Jane (who is an RN) was asking about it. Janie asked if I was getting a central line and was somewhat surprised when I told her that we had not discussed this with Dr. Lunin since I was first diagnosed in October. She said that Vinorelbine is nasty stuff that it should be administered through a port. So, this morning I spoke with Scott about it and he agreed. He called and we arranged immediately to have it done by my good friend (from Rotary) Dr. John Rioux. John is chief of surgery at Fawcett Hospital here. (By the way, you will not be surprised to know that Scott has been calling me twice a day (morning and evening) to see if the medication for shingles/neuropathy is working. I am happy to report that it is. I am 80% better than I was on Monday.)
Scott called Dr. John while I was waiting on the phone. I could only hear what Scott was saying but the conversation made me chuckle and went something like this: "This is Dr. Lunin calling for Dr. Rioux....Oh, he's in surgery? Can you put me through to him in there? (Long Pause) Hey John, this is Scott. What kind of surgery are you doing this morning....Oh really? (Pause) No... I could never be a surgeon. I'm too short and I'm affraid I might sneeze on the patient... Hey listen, Tom Cappiello a friend of your's, needs a port. Can you squeeze him in today or tomorrow?"
After Scott made the arrangements I went to John's office this morning to do the paperwork; I go under the knife tomorrow morning at 8 AM. This is an outpatient procedure that should only take about 30 minutes. I get a local that will put me out. John tells me I won't feel or remember anything. I told John that my main concern was that the device not interfere with my golf swing, at which point we began to examine my swing to discover the optimum point of insertion! With any luck, this little procedure may actually IMPROVE my game.
I will go to chemo directly from surgery. To be honest, I am glad to be restarting chemo. I like the quite time it gives me and the solarium at Florida Cancer Center is very comfortable. So tomorrow, after getting the port, I am headed to Scott Lunin's shop for my first consolidation treatment. The timing of this all worked out very well. Everything gets done on a Friday, giving me one day to recover. With any luck, I can be out on Sunday morning testing out my new swing. If not, I have off on President's Day, which is Monday. Thankfully, I don't expect to get gifts on President's Day.
My love to you all! Hope you had a wonderful Valentine's Day!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
How to Deal with Life's Curve Balls
My sister Peggy asked me to blog about how to deal with life's little curve balls. (See comments on the last blog.) To be honest, I don't feel all that down or worried. It is what it is. What's the use in complaining? I will do what I can (within reason) to treat and deal will the cancer and whatever other illness I have, but it is not going to stop me from living and I am not thinking about it and worrying about it. I am busy living my life every day. (And if you have not noticed, I stay pretty busy!)
I may not be religious, but I have a fairly strong faith in God. When I die, I know I will be going to a better place. It does not bother me and I am not worried. I have found writing this blog to be the best therapy for dealing with my emotions and helping to me to stay positive. Writing gives me time to think out loud and to stand back and consider our situation. I am truely not worried about myself or what happens to me. I worry most about Yoko and the girls. If I am not here to help and protect them, who is going to do it? It is hard to imagine my family without me in it.
I am relying on having a good mental attitude. I think your mental attitude has a lot to do with how you feel both physically and how you feel about life in general. I try to keep a very positive mental attitude. I decided at the start that I am not going to let a cancer run my life or deter me from doing the things I want to do. I am expecting to have lots of trials as this thing progresses. I just have to be mentally tough and I work on making myself mentally prepared.
Someone wise once told me that I should only worry about this things I can control. I have taken that to heart and I don't worry about things I can not change. I try to be prepared. Plan for the worst and hope for the best. I am focused on the things I CAN change or make better. Those are the things I do for my family, friends, community and business.
One technique to keep me positive is focusing on how much worse things COULD be and then thanking my lucky stars that things are not THAT bad. I could have developed lung cancer a long time ago when I was down on my luck and unemployed! I could have been diagnosed at a later stage when "cure" would not be possible. I could be dealing with this without proper insurance to pay for my treatment. I could be alone in the world with no family support. I could have lousy doctors. I could have had no positive results from my treatments to date. This could have happened at a time when there was no technology or drugs to deal with it. I could have been disabled by the tumor before it was found. I could have had allergic reactions to the drugs that are saving my life. The list goes on and on. Life can be a lot worse...so be thankful for the blessings you have and appreciate your good luck! If I have shingles or neuropathy and this is as bad as it gets, then I am blessed.
I was speaking with Debbie Munholand tonight. We had a Project Graduation Meeting and after the meeting we went out for some food and a beer. Debbie has been dealing with the loss of her husband Dennis, in a tragic car accident in last year. He was my age, 52, when he was killed; Deb survived. They had been married 24 year and were still deeply in love, unlike almost any couple I can name. Dennis was a friend of mine from Rotary and a pillar in this community. He was one of the first people I met when we moved to Charlotte County. In fact he was the one that invited me to join Rotary.
The reason I bring Dennis up is that I think about how sudden and unexpected his death was. At least I have a fighting chance to survive and if I don't ...I have time to prepare both physically (I am getting my estate in order) and emotionally. (I try to make it a point to tell my wife and children, family and that I love them. I would not want to die without letting them know how much I love them all!) How lucky am I to be able to prepare this way! I am sure Dennis would have had a lot to say if he knew he was going to die last May.
We are all going to die one day and our life is only for an instant in infinite time. We have to make the most of the time we have on earth. When you have been diagnosed with a terminal disease, you begin to focus more on what your life is or has been about. Lately I have been thinking about how the things we do has a positive impact on people's lives. Happiness and peace is about fulfillment and satisfaction. I feel very happy because I am fulfilled and satisfied with my life.
Life would not be as much fun if we knew what was coming next. Think of life's little curve balls for what they are -- a challenge that keeps us playing and hopefully enjoying the game. We may hit a home run or strike out. Either way, life will have been fun.
I may not be religious, but I have a fairly strong faith in God. When I die, I know I will be going to a better place. It does not bother me and I am not worried. I have found writing this blog to be the best therapy for dealing with my emotions and helping to me to stay positive. Writing gives me time to think out loud and to stand back and consider our situation. I am truely not worried about myself or what happens to me. I worry most about Yoko and the girls. If I am not here to help and protect them, who is going to do it? It is hard to imagine my family without me in it.
I am relying on having a good mental attitude. I think your mental attitude has a lot to do with how you feel both physically and how you feel about life in general. I try to keep a very positive mental attitude. I decided at the start that I am not going to let a cancer run my life or deter me from doing the things I want to do. I am expecting to have lots of trials as this thing progresses. I just have to be mentally tough and I work on making myself mentally prepared.
Someone wise once told me that I should only worry about this things I can control. I have taken that to heart and I don't worry about things I can not change. I try to be prepared. Plan for the worst and hope for the best. I am focused on the things I CAN change or make better. Those are the things I do for my family, friends, community and business.
One technique to keep me positive is focusing on how much worse things COULD be and then thanking my lucky stars that things are not THAT bad. I could have developed lung cancer a long time ago when I was down on my luck and unemployed! I could have been diagnosed at a later stage when "cure" would not be possible. I could be dealing with this without proper insurance to pay for my treatment. I could be alone in the world with no family support. I could have lousy doctors. I could have had no positive results from my treatments to date. This could have happened at a time when there was no technology or drugs to deal with it. I could have been disabled by the tumor before it was found. I could have had allergic reactions to the drugs that are saving my life. The list goes on and on. Life can be a lot worse...so be thankful for the blessings you have and appreciate your good luck! If I have shingles or neuropathy and this is as bad as it gets, then I am blessed.
I was speaking with Debbie Munholand tonight. We had a Project Graduation Meeting and after the meeting we went out for some food and a beer. Debbie has been dealing with the loss of her husband Dennis, in a tragic car accident in last year. He was my age, 52, when he was killed; Deb survived. They had been married 24 year and were still deeply in love, unlike almost any couple I can name. Dennis was a friend of mine from Rotary and a pillar in this community. He was one of the first people I met when we moved to Charlotte County. In fact he was the one that invited me to join Rotary.
The reason I bring Dennis up is that I think about how sudden and unexpected his death was. At least I have a fighting chance to survive and if I don't ...I have time to prepare both physically (I am getting my estate in order) and emotionally. (I try to make it a point to tell my wife and children, family and that I love them. I would not want to die without letting them know how much I love them all!) How lucky am I to be able to prepare this way! I am sure Dennis would have had a lot to say if he knew he was going to die last May.
We are all going to die one day and our life is only for an instant in infinite time. We have to make the most of the time we have on earth. When you have been diagnosed with a terminal disease, you begin to focus more on what your life is or has been about. Lately I have been thinking about how the things we do has a positive impact on people's lives. Happiness and peace is about fulfillment and satisfaction. I feel very happy because I am fulfilled and satisfied with my life.
Life would not be as much fun if we knew what was coming next. Think of life's little curve balls for what they are -- a challenge that keeps us playing and hopefully enjoying the game. We may hit a home run or strike out. Either way, life will have been fun.
Monday, February 11, 2008
The New Meds
I called Dr. Lunin today to see if I could book an appointment. Scott could not see me so we spoke by phone. The long and short of it is that we don't know what may be causing my discomfort, but Scott believes it could be several things. It could be shingles or it could be the onset of neuropothy or it could be something else. I got the sense that Scott is inclined to think it may be the start of neuropathy, but he has not ruled anything out.
Shingles (the chicken pox virus) would make sense. It is common for cancer patients to develop shingles because of a run down immune system. If you have had chicken pox as a kid (and I did) the virus lays dormant in your body. Most people don't get chickenpox a second time. However, anyone who has had chicken pox has the potential to develop shingles, because after recovery from chickenpox, the virus settles in the nerve roots. According to an article on shingles that I found "at risk for shingles are people with leukemia, lymphoma, or Hodgkin's disease, and those whose immune systems have been weakened because they are HIV-positive, or have undergone chemotherapy, radiation, transplant surgery with immunosuppression, or treatment with corticosteroids." The later category would apply to me. In fact, I put out on the Lung Cancer Alliance Survivor Website a description of my symptoms and someone came back to me almost immediately and said it could be shingles. I guess shingles is fairly common among cancer patients. We don't know that this is what I have, but it is possible. From what I have read, shingles is no picnic and can become serious, depending on what nerves the virus attacks. Scott has given me a prescription of Valtrex (an anti-viral), which I will take three times a day for the next seven days. If it is shingles, the Valtrex should give me some relief.
The other possibility is neuropothy. This is perhaps more common and why Scott seemed more inclined toward this possibility. I have not been able to discern much about neuropathy, other than that it is very common is chemo patients. Neuropathy is characterized by sensations of pain, tingling, burning, numbness, or weakness that usually begin in the hands or feet. It can be caused by certain illnesses, for example, diabetes. It can also be a side effect of treatment with platinum-based chemotherapy drugs. The MD Andersen Cancer Center is currently doing clinical trials on how to treat patients with neuropathy, which is an indication of just how common this side effect is. Scott has also prescribed a drug for me called Lyrica, which is an anti-seisure medication often used for patients with fibromyalgia or diabetic nerve pain (DNP). Lyrica is also used for nerve pain after shingles.
Chemotherapy-induced peripheral neuropathy can be either acute or chronic. Acute peripheral neuropathy may begin during or shortly after administration of a platinum-containing drug and usually goes away on its own after several days. Chronic peripheral neuropathy may arise weeks or months after chemotherapy treatment and may be very difficult to treat; in some patients, it may be irreversible. Let's hope that is NOT what I have...I think I would rather have shingles!
Tomorrow I go to a new ENT (Dr Moss); Wedesday I go for an audiology exam (Dr Walden); Thursday I see Dave Rice and Friday I see Dr Lunin... Sometime in between all these doctor visits I may find time to work!
Shingles (the chicken pox virus) would make sense. It is common for cancer patients to develop shingles because of a run down immune system. If you have had chicken pox as a kid (and I did) the virus lays dormant in your body. Most people don't get chickenpox a second time. However, anyone who has had chicken pox has the potential to develop shingles, because after recovery from chickenpox, the virus settles in the nerve roots. According to an article on shingles that I found "at risk for shingles are people with leukemia, lymphoma, or Hodgkin's disease, and those whose immune systems have been weakened because they are HIV-positive, or have undergone chemotherapy, radiation, transplant surgery with immunosuppression, or treatment with corticosteroids." The later category would apply to me. In fact, I put out on the Lung Cancer Alliance Survivor Website a description of my symptoms and someone came back to me almost immediately and said it could be shingles. I guess shingles is fairly common among cancer patients. We don't know that this is what I have, but it is possible. From what I have read, shingles is no picnic and can become serious, depending on what nerves the virus attacks. Scott has given me a prescription of Valtrex (an anti-viral), which I will take three times a day for the next seven days. If it is shingles, the Valtrex should give me some relief.
The other possibility is neuropothy. This is perhaps more common and why Scott seemed more inclined toward this possibility. I have not been able to discern much about neuropathy, other than that it is very common is chemo patients. Neuropathy is characterized by sensations of pain, tingling, burning, numbness, or weakness that usually begin in the hands or feet. It can be caused by certain illnesses, for example, diabetes. It can also be a side effect of treatment with platinum-based chemotherapy drugs. The MD Andersen Cancer Center is currently doing clinical trials on how to treat patients with neuropathy, which is an indication of just how common this side effect is. Scott has also prescribed a drug for me called Lyrica, which is an anti-seisure medication often used for patients with fibromyalgia or diabetic nerve pain (DNP). Lyrica is also used for nerve pain after shingles.
Chemotherapy-induced peripheral neuropathy can be either acute or chronic. Acute peripheral neuropathy may begin during or shortly after administration of a platinum-containing drug and usually goes away on its own after several days. Chronic peripheral neuropathy may arise weeks or months after chemotherapy treatment and may be very difficult to treat; in some patients, it may be irreversible. Let's hope that is NOT what I have...I think I would rather have shingles!
Tomorrow I go to a new ENT (Dr Moss); Wedesday I go for an audiology exam (Dr Walden); Thursday I see Dave Rice and Friday I see Dr Lunin... Sometime in between all these doctor visits I may find time to work!
Friday, February 8, 2008
Sensitive Skin and Tight Abs
I have been having a hard time lately feeling comfortable. I am, frankly, not sure exactly what the problem is and it is hard to describe. First of all, the skin on my upper torso (front and back)is sensitive, as though I had a sunburn. It is not really painful, so much as "sensitive" the way your skin becomes sensitive after a sunburn. I am pretty sure this is from the chemo.
The other discomfort I am having is tightness in my chest and abdomen (just below the rib cage). The best way to describe it is my abdomen is constantly feeling tight, the way you might tighten you stomach in anticipation of a punch. It feels tight in my chest, like I have something constricting my chest when I breathe in. I am thinking that this could be the scaring post radiation and that maybe streching exercises or some sort of physical therapy would help.
The fact that I am feeling these symptoms now is rather strange, since I finished my radiation treatment two months ago. If I was going to have symptoms from radiation, I would have thought the symptoms would show up during treatment.... I have have these symptoms for a while, but they are more noticable now than they were a few weeks ago.
At Yoko's insistence, I asked Scott Lunin about this and he is stumped. Scott asked Dave Rice (my radiation oncologist) as well. I have an appointment to see Dave next Thursday, but I think I will call and try to see Scott sooner as this discomfort has become noticably worse. Yoko thinks it could be that the chemo I have had to date is beginning to wearing off. I did notice that I lost facial hair. In the past few weeks the facial hair above my lip has started to fill in (darker than before). I looked pretty strange for a while. So maybe Yoko is right...the skin sensitivity could just be the steroids masking the side effects of taxol and cisplatin. Hopefully, we'll figure it out soon. My new chemo regimen starts this coming Friday February 15th. Prior to that we will be living it up.
On Thursday Yoko and I went to Miami and stayed at the Ritz Carlton courtesy of John Hancock Life and Annuities. Thursday evening was a reception and dinner at the pool side in Coconut Grove. Yoko and I spent the time chatting with Hancock representatives and meeting other Morgan Stanley advisors. Friday morning I had my training meeting and Yoko just hung around the hotel and window shopped. The last speaker of the session at noon on Friday was Janet Evans, the 4 times Olympic gold metalist. They showed clips of her beating the East German swimmers and setting world records in distance swimming in the 1988 Seoul games . Janet carried the Olympic torch into the stadium during the opening ceremony of the 1996 games in Atlanta. If you recall, she was the one who handed the torch to Mohammed Ali, who lit the Olympic flame that year.
Evans was the event's motivational speaker who spoke about the difference between being a "winner" and a "champion". It was a good talk and an interesting story. I must say, however, that she was a much better swimmer than professional speaker! I don't think she applied the same kind of hard work and industriousness to her speaking skills as she did to her swimming. Nonetheless, as a person of accomplishment, she certainly has standing! Hancock arranged to have a photographer take her picture with us after the meeting. Janet gave Yoko one of her gold metals to wear during the photo shoot! I will share the moment on this blog if I get the digital image...
After lounging around the Ritz Carlton Friday afternoon, we met Eric and Diane Madsen for dinner at a place called Lola's on Harrison in Hollywood, Fl. Eric has apparently been reading this blog. After we sat down to dinner he immediately suggested that, "What you SHOULD have done when ENT girl said the bill was $360 was say....eh? what? I can't hear ya!" Pretty much that is how the entire evening was spent...laughing and joking. We shared lots of "father of the bride" stories....my favorite being how Eric dis-invited certain cousins of the groom and how the parents of the groom have not spoken to him since! Happily, Eric and Diane WILL be attending Paula's wedding in Santa Monica this coming June.
We got home from dinner with Eric and Diane at about midnight and were up at 7 AM on Saturday. After breakfast, we headed back home as I was the presenting sponsor of "Fiddler on the Roof" being performed by the Charlotte Players for the benefit of St Vincent De Paul Community Healthcare. We were home at noon and got changed and left the house at 1PM for the 2PM performance. We met Chris and Karen Maher, Kirby and Linda Rowe, Sabin and Kathy Taylor, and Mickey Gorman and his girl friend at the show. Tevya was being played by Ralph Yankwitt, who was a broker I worked with at Smith Barney. The little theater seats about 500 and I was thankful that it was nearly full for the performance. After the show, we all went out for drinks and dinner. Yoko and I did not get home until about 9 PM.
This morning I played golf at my usual 7:30 AM tee time. I played poorly, shooting a 90 on the same course I shot 82 last week... I got home from golf at 1 PM and rested before getting ready to go out to dinner. This was the 5th dinner out for Yoko and I this week! We met up with Vic and Eileen Friscia (Linda Oppe's parents) for dinner at a place called The Crow's Nest, on the water in Venice. The meal was delicious and we had a good time catching up with "Mom and Dad" Friscia, who have been virtual parents to me since I was in high school. We got home tonight from Venice at 9:50 PM.
Tomorrow night Yoko and I are having dinner at the Republican Club...that will be six nights in a row we are eating out. If you are worried about me suffering, the only suffering I am doing is for lack of macaroni and meatballs!
The other discomfort I am having is tightness in my chest and abdomen (just below the rib cage). The best way to describe it is my abdomen is constantly feeling tight, the way you might tighten you stomach in anticipation of a punch. It feels tight in my chest, like I have something constricting my chest when I breathe in. I am thinking that this could be the scaring post radiation and that maybe streching exercises or some sort of physical therapy would help.
The fact that I am feeling these symptoms now is rather strange, since I finished my radiation treatment two months ago. If I was going to have symptoms from radiation, I would have thought the symptoms would show up during treatment.... I have have these symptoms for a while, but they are more noticable now than they were a few weeks ago.
At Yoko's insistence, I asked Scott Lunin about this and he is stumped. Scott asked Dave Rice (my radiation oncologist) as well. I have an appointment to see Dave next Thursday, but I think I will call and try to see Scott sooner as this discomfort has become noticably worse. Yoko thinks it could be that the chemo I have had to date is beginning to wearing off. I did notice that I lost facial hair. In the past few weeks the facial hair above my lip has started to fill in (darker than before). I looked pretty strange for a while. So maybe Yoko is right...the skin sensitivity could just be the steroids masking the side effects of taxol and cisplatin. Hopefully, we'll figure it out soon. My new chemo regimen starts this coming Friday February 15th. Prior to that we will be living it up.
On Thursday Yoko and I went to Miami and stayed at the Ritz Carlton courtesy of John Hancock Life and Annuities. Thursday evening was a reception and dinner at the pool side in Coconut Grove. Yoko and I spent the time chatting with Hancock representatives and meeting other Morgan Stanley advisors. Friday morning I had my training meeting and Yoko just hung around the hotel and window shopped. The last speaker of the session at noon on Friday was Janet Evans, the 4 times Olympic gold metalist. They showed clips of her beating the East German swimmers and setting world records in distance swimming in the 1988 Seoul games . Janet carried the Olympic torch into the stadium during the opening ceremony of the 1996 games in Atlanta. If you recall, she was the one who handed the torch to Mohammed Ali, who lit the Olympic flame that year.
Evans was the event's motivational speaker who spoke about the difference between being a "winner" and a "champion". It was a good talk and an interesting story. I must say, however, that she was a much better swimmer than professional speaker! I don't think she applied the same kind of hard work and industriousness to her speaking skills as she did to her swimming. Nonetheless, as a person of accomplishment, she certainly has standing! Hancock arranged to have a photographer take her picture with us after the meeting. Janet gave Yoko one of her gold metals to wear during the photo shoot! I will share the moment on this blog if I get the digital image...
After lounging around the Ritz Carlton Friday afternoon, we met Eric and Diane Madsen for dinner at a place called Lola's on Harrison in Hollywood, Fl. Eric has apparently been reading this blog. After we sat down to dinner he immediately suggested that, "What you SHOULD have done when ENT girl said the bill was $360 was say....eh? what? I can't hear ya!" Pretty much that is how the entire evening was spent...laughing and joking. We shared lots of "father of the bride" stories....my favorite being how Eric dis-invited certain cousins of the groom and how the parents of the groom have not spoken to him since! Happily, Eric and Diane WILL be attending Paula's wedding in Santa Monica this coming June.
We got home from dinner with Eric and Diane at about midnight and were up at 7 AM on Saturday. After breakfast, we headed back home as I was the presenting sponsor of "Fiddler on the Roof" being performed by the Charlotte Players for the benefit of St Vincent De Paul Community Healthcare. We were home at noon and got changed and left the house at 1PM for the 2PM performance. We met Chris and Karen Maher, Kirby and Linda Rowe, Sabin and Kathy Taylor, and Mickey Gorman and his girl friend at the show. Tevya was being played by Ralph Yankwitt, who was a broker I worked with at Smith Barney. The little theater seats about 500 and I was thankful that it was nearly full for the performance. After the show, we all went out for drinks and dinner. Yoko and I did not get home until about 9 PM.
This morning I played golf at my usual 7:30 AM tee time. I played poorly, shooting a 90 on the same course I shot 82 last week... I got home from golf at 1 PM and rested before getting ready to go out to dinner. This was the 5th dinner out for Yoko and I this week! We met up with Vic and Eileen Friscia (Linda Oppe's parents) for dinner at a place called The Crow's Nest, on the water in Venice. The meal was delicious and we had a good time catching up with "Mom and Dad" Friscia, who have been virtual parents to me since I was in high school. We got home tonight from Venice at 9:50 PM.
Tomorrow night Yoko and I are having dinner at the Republican Club...that will be six nights in a row we are eating out. If you are worried about me suffering, the only suffering I am doing is for lack of macaroni and meatballs!
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Epilogue (to The Hernandez Story)
This morning, before I was out of bed, someone from Dr Hernandez's office called to say I needed to make an appointment with an audiologist. They wanted to know if I could do it Thursday or Friday. I explained that I would be in Miami on Thursday and Friday. They said that Dr Beth Walden (an audiologist I happen to know) would see me anytime next week. I said I would have to check my schedule. She didn't like that answer so the lady says to me, "Does that mean you are declining to have the test done?" I said, "No, it means I am not in front of my computer and don't have my schedule for next week. I'll have to call you back when I get to the office." She says, fine and hangs up.
After this conversation I get up, take a shower, get changed for work and sit down for breakfast when the phone rings again. This time it is a different lady from Dr. Hernandez's office asking me if I can come in on Thursday for an audiology test. At this point I am reaching the outer limit of self control. I told the lady that this was the third time in less than 24 hours that someone at Hernandez's office has tried to schedule me for an appointment on Thursday or Friday. Her response was that the doctor is very concerned about my medical condition. I said (for the third time) that I would call once I got to the office and could see my schedule.
While I was eating breakfast I had an e-mail from Scott Lunin recommending two other doctors in town for me to see. (Apparently he read the last blog!) I checked and one of the two is an "in network" provider and close to my office. After I got to the office I called Scott's office and asked them to make an appointment with Dr Moss to get the hearing test done next week. His office promptly called back and said I have an appointment at 9:45AM on Tuesday the 12th. Perfect!
At that point, I called Dr. Hernandez back and explained that I preferred to use an in-network provider. They were surprised I even bothered to call to tell them I was not going back. (I guess they never thought they would hear from me again.) Hopefully, they will send whatever notes they have to Dr. Moss, so I am not doing another preliminary exam. I will laugh if Dr Moss peeks in my ears and then sends me to see Beth Walden!
Just to catch you up on our happenings: tomorrow Yoko and I will head to Miami. I have some insurance training sponsored by John Hancock. We are staying at the Ritz Carlton in Coconut Grove. Eric and Diane Madsen are planing to meet us in Hollywood for dinner on Friday night. We have return home by noon Saturday because "The Cappiello Group at Morgan Stanley" is the presenting sponsor of The Fiddler on the Roof to benefit St Vincent de Paul Community Healthcare. I have 14 tickets and I have 10 people so far that are pledged to go with us. (I need to find two more couples.) We will probably all go out somewhere after the show on Saturday.
Sunday morning is golf league. (I shot 82 last week and am anxious to try and break 80 again this week.) Sunday afternoon Yoko and I are headed up to Venice to have dinner with Linda Oppe's parents (Mom and Dad Friscia). Monday night after work we go to The Charlotte County Republican Club for dinner; Tuesday night I have a Project Graduation meeting. Wednesday is another St Vincent de Paul board meeting. Thursday is valentines day! And Friday I begin a new regiment of chemo.
Life comes at you fast...
After this conversation I get up, take a shower, get changed for work and sit down for breakfast when the phone rings again. This time it is a different lady from Dr. Hernandez's office asking me if I can come in on Thursday for an audiology test. At this point I am reaching the outer limit of self control. I told the lady that this was the third time in less than 24 hours that someone at Hernandez's office has tried to schedule me for an appointment on Thursday or Friday. Her response was that the doctor is very concerned about my medical condition. I said (for the third time) that I would call once I got to the office and could see my schedule.
While I was eating breakfast I had an e-mail from Scott Lunin recommending two other doctors in town for me to see. (Apparently he read the last blog!) I checked and one of the two is an "in network" provider and close to my office. After I got to the office I called Scott's office and asked them to make an appointment with Dr Moss to get the hearing test done next week. His office promptly called back and said I have an appointment at 9:45AM on Tuesday the 12th. Perfect!
At that point, I called Dr. Hernandez back and explained that I preferred to use an in-network provider. They were surprised I even bothered to call to tell them I was not going back. (I guess they never thought they would hear from me again.) Hopefully, they will send whatever notes they have to Dr. Moss, so I am not doing another preliminary exam. I will laugh if Dr Moss peeks in my ears and then sends me to see Beth Walden!
Just to catch you up on our happenings: tomorrow Yoko and I will head to Miami. I have some insurance training sponsored by John Hancock. We are staying at the Ritz Carlton in Coconut Grove. Eric and Diane Madsen are planing to meet us in Hollywood for dinner on Friday night. We have return home by noon Saturday because "The Cappiello Group at Morgan Stanley" is the presenting sponsor of The Fiddler on the Roof to benefit St Vincent de Paul Community Healthcare. I have 14 tickets and I have 10 people so far that are pledged to go with us. (I need to find two more couples.) We will probably all go out somewhere after the show on Saturday.
Sunday morning is golf league. (I shot 82 last week and am anxious to try and break 80 again this week.) Sunday afternoon Yoko and I are headed up to Venice to have dinner with Linda Oppe's parents (Mom and Dad Friscia). Monday night after work we go to The Charlotte County Republican Club for dinner; Tuesday night I have a Project Graduation meeting. Wednesday is another St Vincent de Paul board meeting. Thursday is valentines day! And Friday I begin a new regiment of chemo.
Life comes at you fast...
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Now Hear This Hector.... I Have a Life Too!
Sometimes a visit to the doctor's office can be very frustrating. Today was one of those days.
Scott Lunin recommended that I get a "baseline" hearing exam before I begin chemo next week. Florida Cancer Specialists made the arrangements for me to see an ear, nose and throat specialist, Dr Hector Hernandez, who Scott recommended.
I was busy with client meetings this week because I am headed to Miami on Thursday and Friday. Anyway, I was trying to squeeze appointments in before I leave for Miami. I had a 1 PM and a 2 PM appointment and I was suppose to be at Dr Hernandez's office at 3:30 PM. I had to cut short my second appointment because I was running late. (Luckily, Ryan took over and closed the business for me.) I left the office at 3:20PM and called ahead to let Dr. Hernandez know I would be about 10 minutes late.
When I got to the office, the receptionist asked me to fill in an arrival slip and then asked to see my ID and insurance card. I gave her both and the first thing she said to me was "We don't accept Cigna Open Access; we only take Cigna PPO." (She might as well be speaking Greek to me.) So then I said, " What does that mean?" And she repeated...we only take Cigna PPO. So then I said, "Well, I don't understand. What does that mean?" She then started to explain that they had been PPO with Cigna but they were changing to Open Access and would be OK after February 15th. There are "in network" and "out of network" health care providers and they (Hernandez) are currently out of network. So then I said, "So, what does THAT mean." She said that I would have to pay myself for this visit. (Finally I understood!) So, of course, I said, what is it going to cost? And she said...well what are you here for?
Are you feeling my pain yet?
So I said, "I am here to have my hearing checked. Didn't Florida Cancer Specialists tell you why I am being referred to you? I was suppose to get a baseline hearing test." Then she said, well, the doctor appointment costs $160 and sometimes he does procedures that could be another $200. Then I said, "Well, I don't think I am having any procedure done. I am simply here cause Scott Lunin said I should have an audio test. I would have thought they would send me to a doctor that takes my insurance."
So then she wanted to know if I would like to go to a different doctor. I said, first I don't know where else I would go, and second, I need to have the baseline test established before chemo begins next Friday. (I could have fixed this anytime in the last two weeks had I known they don't take my insurance.) She then explained that I could submit the doctor bill myself for reimbursement. I said fine, I will pay for the visit myself (thinking I would be reimbursed by Cigna). (I bet you can already guess how this story ends!)
Anyway, the receptionist gave me a bunch of forms to fill out and I sat down in the waiting room at 3:45 to wait. Finally at 4:30 (one hour after my scheduled appointment) I was called. (Why, I wondered to myself, was I rushing to make this appointment and calling ahead to say I would be 10 minutes late? Doctors don't care how long they keep YOU waiting. When was the last time a doctor called to say, "take your time, we're running behind here." The only time a doctor calls is to remind you of your next appointment.)
After I was finally called I followed the nurse into an exam room and the first question SHE asks me is "what are you here for? Are you suffering from hearing loss?" At that point (as patiently as I could) I explained that I was a cancer patient, sent by Dr. Lunin to see Dr Hernandez to establish a baseline audio test prior to chemo. I suggested that she call Dr. Lunin and ask him why he made the referral and what he wants done. The nurse did exactly that and had Florida Cancer send over the pertinent information. Dr Hernandez walked in the door of the exam room at around 5 PM.
While I was waiting in the exam room I read about Dr Hernandez's education -- John Hopkins, University of Pennsylvania medical education. Seems like a well educated doctor...
Anyway, when I finally met Hernandez I began to quiz him about why testing was needed. He explained that the chemo I am having can frequently lead to hearing loss. My next question was what happens if hearing loss is detected? He replied that we would then have to decide whether we want to continue the treatment or not. I wanted to know whether the treatments, if stopped, could be stopped in time to prevent hearing loss. Or would it be more like trying to stop a ship in the water. Would chemo continue to affect my hearing even if the treatments were stopped? (Apparently the toxic impact on your hearing does not stop even if you stop treatments.)
I asked which drug caused hearing loss and the answer was the Cisplatin. I asked why Cisplatin causes hearing loss and all I could understand was that the fibers in your ears that are the sound receptors are affected, but no one knows why. I asked, why I did not have baseline testing done prior to beginning the first round of chemo? He could not answer for Dr. Lunin, but he believes that ususally the baseline testing is done once the cancer has come under some control. Since lung cancer is a life threatening disease, the first priority is to get it under control with the available treatments. When we treat the cancer as a chronic ailment, it becomes more important to monitor for potential side effects, such as hearing loss. That made sense to me.
Dr Hernandez then stuck some electronic handheld device in my ears to make a measurement of my "receptors." I thought this was part of the exam. It appears that my left ear is fine but my right ear is being affected by the chemo I have had to date. Dr Hernandez recommended that I come back for a full audio test (which is what I thought I was there for to begin with!). He would want to monitor me carefully during the upcoming treatment. I have no problem with any of that. The purpose of monitoring would be to detect hearing trouble.
That's when I brought up the insurance issue. I told Dr Hernandez that I did not understand why but he could not accept my insurance. But given the time constraints, I wanted to know what other doctors in town he would recommend. He was somewhat incensed that I would ask him about insurance and said "The ladies up front handle that. If you need to go to another Doctor, do that. I am just telling you, clinically, that you should have a hearing test and be carefully monitored." It was like, how dare you ask me about money or using another doctor!
At this point he handed me off to the nurse, who guided me to the check out window. The lady at the check-out window asked if I could come in on Thursday or Friday. Of course, I said I can not (I am going to be in Miami). She then said to me "But the Doctor wants to see you this week." So I told her I can not make it this week and I will have to check MY schedule to see when I can come back. I was then admonished to call tomorrow to make an appointment before being handed a bill for $360. Apparently it was $160 to see Hernandez and $200 to stick the handheld device in my ear. (That must have been "the procedure" the check-in girl was talking about! Holy mackrel!!)
When I got home tonight (I came straight from Hernandez's office -- no use going back to MY office) the first thing I did was call Cigna to find out what I needed to do to make a claim. Apparently, I have a $600 deductible for seeing an "out of network" specialist without pre-authorization. So NONE of the $360 will be reinbursed to me -- it would be applied toward my deductible. In fact, if I have to go to Hernandez again (until he is "in network") I will be out of pocket. On the other hand, had Florida Cancer Specialists handled this properly, they could have obtained authorization from Cigna for me to go to an "out of network" specialist and then I would have been reimbursed. Geez.
I hate being stuck for a bill like this when my insurance would have paid; that's bad enough. Hernandez kept me waiting an hour and a half; could not accept my insurance, did not conduct the baseline test today that I went there to have done and charged me $360 for the privledge. The worst part is that they (the doctors and nurses) act as though my life should conform to their schedule: that I have nothing better to do with my time than to wait around for them to see me.
If you can't tell by my tone, I was fairly irked by the whole experience. I have half a mind to send Hernandez a bill for MY time, which is very very valuable to me -- esspecially now!
Scott Lunin recommended that I get a "baseline" hearing exam before I begin chemo next week. Florida Cancer Specialists made the arrangements for me to see an ear, nose and throat specialist, Dr Hector Hernandez, who Scott recommended.
I was busy with client meetings this week because I am headed to Miami on Thursday and Friday. Anyway, I was trying to squeeze appointments in before I leave for Miami. I had a 1 PM and a 2 PM appointment and I was suppose to be at Dr Hernandez's office at 3:30 PM. I had to cut short my second appointment because I was running late. (Luckily, Ryan took over and closed the business for me.) I left the office at 3:20PM and called ahead to let Dr. Hernandez know I would be about 10 minutes late.
When I got to the office, the receptionist asked me to fill in an arrival slip and then asked to see my ID and insurance card. I gave her both and the first thing she said to me was "We don't accept Cigna Open Access; we only take Cigna PPO." (She might as well be speaking Greek to me.) So then I said, " What does that mean?" And she repeated...we only take Cigna PPO. So then I said, "Well, I don't understand. What does that mean?" She then started to explain that they had been PPO with Cigna but they were changing to Open Access and would be OK after February 15th. There are "in network" and "out of network" health care providers and they (Hernandez) are currently out of network. So then I said, "So, what does THAT mean." She said that I would have to pay myself for this visit. (Finally I understood!) So, of course, I said, what is it going to cost? And she said...well what are you here for?
Are you feeling my pain yet?
So I said, "I am here to have my hearing checked. Didn't Florida Cancer Specialists tell you why I am being referred to you? I was suppose to get a baseline hearing test." Then she said, well, the doctor appointment costs $160 and sometimes he does procedures that could be another $200. Then I said, "Well, I don't think I am having any procedure done. I am simply here cause Scott Lunin said I should have an audio test. I would have thought they would send me to a doctor that takes my insurance."
So then she wanted to know if I would like to go to a different doctor. I said, first I don't know where else I would go, and second, I need to have the baseline test established before chemo begins next Friday. (I could have fixed this anytime in the last two weeks had I known they don't take my insurance.) She then explained that I could submit the doctor bill myself for reimbursement. I said fine, I will pay for the visit myself (thinking I would be reimbursed by Cigna). (I bet you can already guess how this story ends!)
Anyway, the receptionist gave me a bunch of forms to fill out and I sat down in the waiting room at 3:45 to wait. Finally at 4:30 (one hour after my scheduled appointment) I was called. (Why, I wondered to myself, was I rushing to make this appointment and calling ahead to say I would be 10 minutes late? Doctors don't care how long they keep YOU waiting. When was the last time a doctor called to say, "take your time, we're running behind here." The only time a doctor calls is to remind you of your next appointment.)
After I was finally called I followed the nurse into an exam room and the first question SHE asks me is "what are you here for? Are you suffering from hearing loss?" At that point (as patiently as I could) I explained that I was a cancer patient, sent by Dr. Lunin to see Dr Hernandez to establish a baseline audio test prior to chemo. I suggested that she call Dr. Lunin and ask him why he made the referral and what he wants done. The nurse did exactly that and had Florida Cancer send over the pertinent information. Dr Hernandez walked in the door of the exam room at around 5 PM.
While I was waiting in the exam room I read about Dr Hernandez's education -- John Hopkins, University of Pennsylvania medical education. Seems like a well educated doctor...
Anyway, when I finally met Hernandez I began to quiz him about why testing was needed. He explained that the chemo I am having can frequently lead to hearing loss. My next question was what happens if hearing loss is detected? He replied that we would then have to decide whether we want to continue the treatment or not. I wanted to know whether the treatments, if stopped, could be stopped in time to prevent hearing loss. Or would it be more like trying to stop a ship in the water. Would chemo continue to affect my hearing even if the treatments were stopped? (Apparently the toxic impact on your hearing does not stop even if you stop treatments.)
I asked which drug caused hearing loss and the answer was the Cisplatin. I asked why Cisplatin causes hearing loss and all I could understand was that the fibers in your ears that are the sound receptors are affected, but no one knows why. I asked, why I did not have baseline testing done prior to beginning the first round of chemo? He could not answer for Dr. Lunin, but he believes that ususally the baseline testing is done once the cancer has come under some control. Since lung cancer is a life threatening disease, the first priority is to get it under control with the available treatments. When we treat the cancer as a chronic ailment, it becomes more important to monitor for potential side effects, such as hearing loss. That made sense to me.
Dr Hernandez then stuck some electronic handheld device in my ears to make a measurement of my "receptors." I thought this was part of the exam. It appears that my left ear is fine but my right ear is being affected by the chemo I have had to date. Dr Hernandez recommended that I come back for a full audio test (which is what I thought I was there for to begin with!). He would want to monitor me carefully during the upcoming treatment. I have no problem with any of that. The purpose of monitoring would be to detect hearing trouble.
That's when I brought up the insurance issue. I told Dr Hernandez that I did not understand why but he could not accept my insurance. But given the time constraints, I wanted to know what other doctors in town he would recommend. He was somewhat incensed that I would ask him about insurance and said "The ladies up front handle that. If you need to go to another Doctor, do that. I am just telling you, clinically, that you should have a hearing test and be carefully monitored." It was like, how dare you ask me about money or using another doctor!
At this point he handed me off to the nurse, who guided me to the check out window. The lady at the check-out window asked if I could come in on Thursday or Friday. Of course, I said I can not (I am going to be in Miami). She then said to me "But the Doctor wants to see you this week." So I told her I can not make it this week and I will have to check MY schedule to see when I can come back. I was then admonished to call tomorrow to make an appointment before being handed a bill for $360. Apparently it was $160 to see Hernandez and $200 to stick the handheld device in my ear. (That must have been "the procedure" the check-in girl was talking about! Holy mackrel!!)
When I got home tonight (I came straight from Hernandez's office -- no use going back to MY office) the first thing I did was call Cigna to find out what I needed to do to make a claim. Apparently, I have a $600 deductible for seeing an "out of network" specialist without pre-authorization. So NONE of the $360 will be reinbursed to me -- it would be applied toward my deductible. In fact, if I have to go to Hernandez again (until he is "in network") I will be out of pocket. On the other hand, had Florida Cancer Specialists handled this properly, they could have obtained authorization from Cigna for me to go to an "out of network" specialist and then I would have been reimbursed. Geez.
I hate being stuck for a bill like this when my insurance would have paid; that's bad enough. Hernandez kept me waiting an hour and a half; could not accept my insurance, did not conduct the baseline test today that I went there to have done and charged me $360 for the privledge. The worst part is that they (the doctors and nurses) act as though my life should conform to their schedule: that I have nothing better to do with my time than to wait around for them to see me.
If you can't tell by my tone, I was fairly irked by the whole experience. I have half a mind to send Hernandez a bill for MY time, which is very very valuable to me -- esspecially now!
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