Well, I thought I was done with chemo for now, but after seeing my radiology oncologist yesterday, he recommended that I have one more chemo session. The radiation is the main element of the treatment that is killing the tumor; the chemo sensitizes the tumor so that the radiation does a better job. Anyway, I have a scheduled chemo session for Friday morning...and then, hopefully, that will be it for the Christmas season. My last radiation session is next Tuesday...the same day the FED will decide whether to cut interest rates. Tuesday should be a good day!
The difficulty eating I currently am experiencing should abate after radiation ends. In the meantime, I have been reduced to eating things that are easily broken up and swollowed, like tuna salad, soups, rice dishes, etc. Last night Yoko made stuffed green bell peppers. They are bell peppers stuffed with rice and mixed with ground beef and tomato sauce. She tops them with melted cheese. Delicious! Of course, when she serves the food, I want to swallow the whole thing in one gulp, but I am forced to eat it slowly in tiny bites, which is very frustrating when you are hungry and the food in front of you smells and looks so great!
There is really not much news to report, but I know my daughter Paula likes to a get a daily blog, whether I have anything to say or not. She has been very faithful about calling home (nearly every day) and talking to her Mom (what about I have no idea, but they always seem to have something to talk about)
Not a day goes by that I don't hear something or read something that makes me think...oh, that would be a good topic for this blog. Then when it comes time to write, I can't remember what it was that I saw or read that I thought would be such a good topic.
I did see an advertisement in the newspaper the other day that was quoting Abraham Lincoln as saying, "It is not the number of years in a life that counts...it is the life in the years" or something along those lines. Having reflected a lot lately about my life, I really can not complain. Of course, I would like to do more, but I am also sure if I was 80 years old I would be saying the same thing. Anyway, relative to vastness of infinite time, what is the difference between 50 and 80 years...not much. The real waste is when young people don't ever get the opportunity to have a life, like 24 year old Sean Taylor, who was gunned down in his home last weekend. Geez.
I watched a movie last night called Alpha Dog, with Bruce Willis. It is the apparently true story about a screwed up teenage drug dealer kidnaping and then killing the innocent younger brother of an addict who owes him money. The kid that was murdered was 15 years old. The amount of money that was owed was $1200. The story takes place in 2003. As I watched all I could think of was how selfish people are. Everyone is looking out for number one...and the innocent die as a result. What a waste.
Then in today's newspaper there was a story about an environmentalist who decided to have an abortion and then elected to be steralized so that her "carbon impact" would be reduced. My question is, who is she saving the world for? If everyone followed this screwed-up lady's philospophy, there would be no one around to enjoy the clean lakes and clear blue sky. Like the newspaper editorial said, I never read a good book by a polar bear.
Tonight Yoko and I are attending our last evening Rotary Dinner of the year. It should be a good time. I have invited a number of people to attend, who I would like to recruit into Rotary. We'll see if any of them show. Our club has arranged to park a school bus in from of the Englewood Wal-mart; the campaign is to "Stuff a Bus" for toys for kids this Christmas. Every club member will be bringing gifts (one for a boy and one for a girl) to donate to a local charity "For the Love of Kids." I was also glad to see that my Rotary District provided $55,000 to outfit the Children's Hospital in Ft Myers with a playroom for kids with cancer. To me, THAT is what the Christmas season is all about. God Bless Rotarians!
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8 comments:
I haven't had stuffed peppers in a long while. Yoko is sure good about making many of "our family" dishes for you Tommy. Do you still have the ornament I made for you and the rest of the clan after Dad died? It is in a blue snowflake box...hopefully you do and in that box there is a poem called "The dash"- or something like that. If you haven't read it in awhile, do so. It falls into place with your quote from Abe. I feel bad that you are having some trouble swallowing- especially when a delicious meal is right there wafting up your senses. I'll bet you will be glad to have treatments overwith before the holidays so you can mangia without interruptions!!!!
Ahhh finally! A new entry. Stuff a bus is a really good idea- I don't see a lot of that type of stuff happening here. And by the way, I am anxiously waiting for a new entry titled "I have 3 cars, you have none" XOXO Paula
I saw Alpha Dog too...that was a tough movie to watch because it was so awful and stupid what those kids did...and for what...ridiculous. I make stuffed peppers like Yoko too, except not with the cheese. That is somehting I'll have to try, one of my favorite meals.
I'm glad your treatments are just about up at least until the Christmas holidays are over..hang in there Tommy, you sound like you're doing really good. Love you!
Mmmm stuffed peppers! I'm very jealous. I had cafeteria beef strogonoff (sp?) which wasn't exactly the best part of my day.
I was driving around somewhere around here and I saw a Stuff a Bus sign. I'm not sure exactly where. It's nice to see that Rotary is working hard though!
Oh, I also really like that Lincoln quote. I put it in my Instant messenger profile because I liked it so much.
I have exams this week, so I'll be busy as heck. I hope everything is great. It sounds like after radiation, things will be easier :)
There seems to be an awful lot of charity work that your Rotary club does. It is unbelievable.
The swallowing will get better but it will take some time. Getting another round of chemo makes sense and then it will be done for a bit. Good luck!! I hope I can get down in the next 6-8 weeks. We'll see how that goes for everyone.
love you,
janie
Mom and I were laughing the other day .. get 2 Cappiellos together, and within 30 seconds the conversation will turn to food. I am as guilty as the next concerning our focus on food (I suspect that we're all pretty much in agreement that the best part of the day is usually dinner).
Katie has been coming up from Providence almost every weekend that she is here ("to get some good food"). When I asked her last weekend what she wanted for dinner, she said "veal stew". When Thomas (my new BF) was on his way for a visit, I asked him what he wanted ... "veal stew" (I didn't even get the last syllable out, and got the answer from BOTH of them). We had veal stew.
Again.
Tommy, you're lucky Yoko is a great cook. However .. you seem to mention dinner a lot, but I never see anything other than what we ate as kids. Does Yoko cook things from her past from time to time?
Hope the next round goes well.
~Frank
Yoko and I had an agreement when we got married that we would eat Western. (It is easierto prepare for her and better tasting for me!) We have never had Japanese food at home as I always ate Japanese out. Yoko will make Chinese or Indian from time to time, and we would eat ramen or something like that once in a while, but the standard fare in our household is Western food...and specifically dishes I ate growing up. Yoko makes it all. She gets at least one meal a day Japanese...at work...cooked by someone else.
Hi Tom, The attached is from a dear friend of mine. I thought it was quite beautiful and profound. Seemed a good thing to share..as for the stuffed peppers..does she put anchovies in them? That's how Nana used to do it...yummy! love u..joanie
Mother Compassion
In April, my car was stolen as I stood within 15 feet, but with my back turned. It happened so quickly.
In the midst of my panic, I knew my car was supposed to be stolen because I would forgive this child. He was a child, a 14 year old, who left his school papers and his NY Yankee cap on the bushes. As I calmed down enough, in the midst of the 911 calls, I actually got down on my knees, there on the asphalt in the parking lot and said a prayer that I would meet him; his name is Christopher.
Within 20 minutes, he had totaled the vehicle smashing it into two others parked cars. Within an hour, I met him. I remember it clearly and seeing his face, I told him I forgave him but that he had to do whatever possible to get an education and a job and never again resort to such a desperate and demeaning act. It was demeaning to him.
I experienced such a physical pain in my heart and felt like a mother to him.
It is the same pain I feel looking at the pictures of the 4 boys who burglarized and killed Sean Taylor. Their faces have devastated me and left me bereft. And my heart breaks again for them. Throughout the night I woke and prayed for them, for all of them; for all of us.
Violence and hatred are not racial issues. Violence is the child of anger. Period. Look at how angry we are.
Where is the Mother?
In Buddhism, we have a teaching called the Heart Sutra, the Mother of all Buddhas. It supports the practice of living as if the suffering of the world could be relieved by your own intentions and actions. It teaches that we can all be Bodhisattvas dedicated to attaining Enlightenment for the benefit of others; we can become Mothers to all beings, loving them as they dream these nightmares of torment.
In the Hindu tradition we chant the great Gayatri Mantra known again, as the Mother of the Vedas, the spiritual teachings that seek, again, to quiet and still the minds and save the world.
And as a Catholic growing up, I have a great love and devotion to Jesus’ mother, Mary and her devotion to humanity as the Great Intercessor for our prayers.
Here I am, an anonymous someone, praying at night as a mother for my children now sitting in a Miami Dade jail, their lives and the lives of Sean Taylor’s family devastated. What can I do?
Of myself, nothing. But….
There is a place in my mind that is pure. It loves like a mother and sings lullabies when these children cry out in pain. I have nothing to do with this gift. It was given to me before I was born. But I know that it is there, offering me the something I can do when faced with such tragedy.
I have it no more than you, but no less. It is given each of us freely. Our choice is simply to turn to this refuge or not. That is the only choice in all circumstances: will I respond in compassion or with anger and attack? Will I seek to just get, get, get; or taking a moment to breathe, receive.
I am deeply moved by this awareness that comes through me, but not to me.
I have hope for humanity if someone like me can feel this, who can’t?
If your heart breaks to see such a story, be thankful. That is the cultivation of the Awakened Mind that rests in the heart and opens like a perfect flower to bring comfort to the world of sorrows.
Instead of anger, hatred and ignorance, may I respond to each story as if my heart were broken and may I have the courage to hold all beings, the families of the perpetrators, the families of the victim, equally in my arms
“Love one another as I have loved you; love your neighbors as yourself.”
--
Nellie Lauth, MSW
Healer, Speaker and Group Facilitator
A Sacred Path
Cherish Interfaith Center
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