Christmas Wrap Up

"So, how was Christmas?" you ask. It was great! I was so busy I really did not have time to make contributions to this diary. Now I have to try and recall everything that went on in the past week and record it here for posterity. This blog should catch you up. The week went by so fast it is a blur and I don't know how much I can accurately recall!

Let's see. Where did I leave off? Paula and June were both home and enjoying each other's company when I got home from golf with Len Johnson last Saturday. We went out to dinner that evening and the girls went out to Harpoon Harry's afterwards. On Sunday everyone slept until about 10 AM. I normally golf on Sunday, but I gave that up in order to be home while Paula and June were in town. At 11 AM Paula Kennedy came over to take photos. (Paula is a really talented portrait photographer, a friend, and the wife of my Rotary buddy, Don Kennedy. You can see some of her work on her website http://www.paulakennedyphoto.com/.) You should be able to see proofs of the photos she took any day now. After Paula left we ate lunch together (Italian cold cuts, Christmas cookies, etc.) Paula and June went shopping and Jessie and I went together to get some last minute things for Yoko.

The mall was absolutely packed, as it was the Sunday before Christmas. I was cruising around the parking lot and happened to find a space right near Macy's front door when a young girl in a beat-up Toyota coming from the opposite direction cut me off to take the space. I was so mad at this selfish rudeness I was fit to be tied. I can understand how such behavior leads to tragedy as I was ready to ram my car up this little girl's tailpipe just to teach her a lesson. If Jessie had not been with me to calm me down I might just have spent Christmas in jail!

At the mall Jessie and I quickly found the things we were looking for. We were out of there and home by 3PM. While Yoko and Grandma prepared the Sunday meal I fell asleep watching football. Paula and June returned home by 5 PM and we put on Christmas music and enjoyed a bottle of wine while Grandma was in the kitchen frying veal. We had veal and spaghetti for dinner, which, if you have been reading this blog for any length of time, now recognize as a favorite family meal. (And just for the record, I want to record here that my mother dips the veal in eggs and breadcrumbs -- NOT milk and breadcrumbs, as my wife had contended for many years. Anyway the meal was delicious and there was plenty of leftovers for veal and roasted peppers on an Italian roll for lunch the next day.

Jessie had a surprise party to go to on Sunday night and was excused from dinner at 6:30 PM. After dinner the girls cleaned up the kitchen and we all sat down to watch the 1984 version of "A Christmas Carol" with George C. Scott playing Scrooge. I think it was the best version of Dicken's classic story that I have ever seen. June was tired from jet lag that night and went to bed early.

Speaking of jet lag, I should note here that it was not possible to do anything (like watch a movie) for any length of time without some one's phone ringing and one girl or the other going off to speak in private with a friend or boyfriend. As the father, I am always bothered when I don't have the full attention of "my girls." I have not had their full attention for many years now, but it still bothers me. I guess it always will. I don't like to think that anyone competes with me for the attention of "my girls."

I did not work on Monday, Christmas eve. Everyone slept late. Yoko made banana bread for breakfast and before we knew it we were having the left over veal for lunch. It was almost like we cleared the breakfast table in order to get ready for lunch. Jessie and Paula went to the store one last time while Grandma, June and I watched the PBS special "South Pacific -- The Carnegie Hall Concert" featuring Reba McEntire and Brian Stokes Mitchell. What a great show that was! Alec Baldwin plays the part of Billis in the concert. You are welcome to come to my home to watch this anytime, or you can buy the DVD from PBS. I highly recommend it!

Of course, while we were watching South Pacific, Yoko was getting dinner ready. If you were to ask Yoko how she enjoyed Christmas, she'll tell you that all she remembers about Christmas this year was cooking. It seemed like when one meal was done it was time to get the next meal ready. On Christmas Eve we had our traditional dinner, which included bakala (dried cod in olive oil, garlic and crushed red pepper), oranges, salami olives and anchovies in olive oil and black pepper for an ante-pasta, squid and spaghetti for the main dish, and apple and mince meat pie for desert. It was the first Christmas that I can remember when everyone was not clamoring to open gifts. We all enjoyed the meal and the phone didn't ring once!

After dinner the three girls did the kitchen and we all sat down in the living room to open gifts. There were not as many gifts as in previous years, so I insisted that we open one at a time and try to savor the moment. I will not get into who got what other than to say that everyone enjoyed both the giving and receiving. I gave Yoko a lot of different things, but the gift I enjoyed giving the most was the electric hedge trimmer! (Yoko also has a sense of humor and purchased a George Forman grill for me.) We finished opening the gifts by 10 PM, after which we had the traditional fashion show that went on until about 11:30. We were exhausted and in bed by midnight.


Christmas morning Yoko got up to make to make googla's. After breakfast I took Paula, June and Grandma on a driving tour of Punta Gorda and Port Charlotte. They had not seen the town and all the rebuilding that has been going on. We went to see Charlotte Middle School, Charlotte High, the Sunloft Center, the Vivante development, etc. Everyone agreed that the face of Punta Gorda had changed a lot and has improved significantly since Hurricane Charley. After taking the tour, we came home to a lunch of left overs Yoko had prepared.


After lunch I was inspired to do some physical work and went outside to pressure wash the lanai and pool cage while June had a series of high school friends over to visit. During the day we spoke with everyone in the the family -- Frank, Jane, Linda and Peggy. All seemed to have a nice Christmas Eve, except Peggy, who managed to burn her hand badly while cooking, poor kid! She was recovered by Christmas day, but she really hurt the night before. Ironically we had a pork roast Peggy sent for Christmas dinner (Thanks Peg!) and then watched a DVD I gave to Yoko for Christmas. (The Borne Ultimatum, with Matt Damon, is what she wanted. I guess Yoko has a thing for Matt Damon!)


During the holidays I played cribbage with Grandma, who managed to beat me two out of three games the first night and again on Christmas day. She has the same Donovan luck my Grandfather had, which generally presents as " fifteen two, fifteen four, fifteen six, and a double run is twelve and a pair is fourteen and jack of the turned card is 15. Gee whiz." Whereas my hand was generally "fifteen two and a pair is four." Needless to say, I was skunked several times over the weekend.


Everyone was packed and ready to go home on the 26th. Yoko and I got up to take June to the airport at 4:30 AM. We left the house at 5 AM to get to the airport by 6 AM. We had time to talk before June had to board her plane at 7 AM. Yoko and I returned home by 8 Am, took a short nap and then got up to take Paula to the airport at 9:30 Am. We got to the airport in time to have another coffee and chat before Paula caught her 12:30 flight. Yoko and I returned home at noon, had lunch with Grandma, took another short nap before returning to the airport for a third time at 3 PM. After we dropped Grandma off Yoko and I headed into Ft Myers to catch a movie and have dinner. The movie we saw was "Charlie Wilson's War." As a story it was interesting, but I don't think it will win any awards. After the movie we went to eat Korean bar-b-que. Yoko had the usual bibinba while I had the barbecued beef.


And all of a sudden Christmas was over and everyone was back to work!


On Thursday I went into the office to take care of end-of-the-year business. I had a series of meetings with people to try and take care of things like RMDs and tax-loss harvesting. Kirby Rowe came to visit on Thursday and we ended up having lunch at Amimoto's.


On Friday night after work Yoko and I met up with Brian and Lori Brunderman. We took a tour of their beautiful new home and then joined them and their family (Matt Christine and grandson Wyatt, and Erin and Daniel) for dinner at Carabbas.


On Saturday we slept in and then Jessie and I decided to go golfing at Verandah. I played poorly; Jessie played pretty well and ended up taking six dollars from me. Yoko dropped us off at the course and went shopping while we were golfing. She picked us up at 4:30 and we decided to eat at Verandah before going home. (Note: This was the third night in a row that Yoko did NOT have to cook!)


Saturday night Yoko and I went to Mike Riley's house for a party, where we saw many of our friends. Pretty clearly everyone there knew about my condition and I got a lot of hugs and pats on the back. Of course, all my friends are very supportive. Kathy Taylor said that she and Sabin were "mad" that we had not told them about the diagnosis, as they considered us good friends. I think what she was trying to say was that they were "mad" because they want to help. Anyway, it was nice to see our friends and to hear words of encouragement. The party was going on during the New England vs. Giants game. We ended up watching the game during the party and trying unsuccessfully to shout down the Patriot fans.


That brings us to today. I played golf in the morning as usual. My game was horrible. I had a 55 on the front and 44 on the back. The highlight was back to back birdies on holes 10 and 11. We play a Stafford points game in my Sunday league. A bogey is worth one point, par is two points and birdies are worth 4 points. Your "handicap" is determined by how many points on average you normally make. I usually make 22 - 24 points, but for the last four weeks I have been making 15 or so points. Today I was seven under (i.e. needed to make 22 points and I only made 15, eight of which were the two birdies). That should give you some idea of how badly I played. I only had three points on the front nine! The shot of the day was my drive on a short par 3 hole, where I put the ball about 6 inches from the cup from 130 yards. It was nearly a hole in one!


After golf I came home and slept until dinner time. I have felt very tired and lack energy to do very much. I did get a number of phone calls over the holidays. Uncle Tim called tonight to say hello and to complain that I have not blogged lately. I also got a call from my friend Mark Campbell who was vacationing in Hawaii . And from a buddy of mine, Doug Bivens, who now lives in Tennessee, called to find out how I am doing.


A lot of people have expressed support and concern this holiday and promised to remember us in their prayers. Mom and Dad Friscia sent me a mass card, which I really appreciated getting.

Unless something like this happens to you, it is hard to understand how totally consumed you become with the disease and your prognosis. I am thinking about it nearly every waking moment. It is my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night. When I am not thinking about it or reading about it I am planning for it, wondering who knows about it, or looking at things through the lens of a sudden awareness of the limited time left. For example, as I take the tour of the beautiful house Brian has built for Lori I am feel sorry I can't do something similar for Yoko. When I meet Brian's grandson, I am thinking about whether I will ever meet my own. At the party, I am talking with people and at the same time wondering what they will be saying about me when I am gone. When I almost hit a hole in one today, I am wondering if that is the closest I will ever come. Time seems very short and finite and I wish it were not so.

People say that keeping a positive attitude is important and I think I am very positive ... but you can't help but to fear for the future. I read the Lung Cancer Alliance Survivor Website every day; mostly it is stories about how people are struggling with this disease. They are fine one day and suddenly dealing with brain tumors the next. It can't help but scare you, esspecially when you feel as well as I do right now. How long will my current good health last?


The new year is upon us and I have been thinking about what I would like to accomplish. I have decided to make a resolution to write more. I always wanted to write a book on American culture and American life. I am thinking that 2008 -- a very political year -- is the year to do it. I plan to start a new (public) blog "Uncommon Sense -- A Running Commentary on Modern American Life." I'll let you know when I get it started!


Happy New Year!