OK, so here we are at the start of the new year. I would like to start this year right and I have been thinking about what my new year's resolution(s) should be.
There are a few prerequisites for making a good resolution. First, it should be important. Second it should be within your control. And third, it should be specific and doable. The whole idea of a new year's resolution is to create a new habit (or break an old bad habit). Usually a resolution will relate to improving your health, finances, or spiritual well being. Last year my resolution was to quit smoking and I finally succeeded! (Too bad I did not have the fortitude to break the habit when I was 20 years old!) The question is, what should by my resolution this year?
As far as my health goes, I am doing just about everything I can to take care of myself. The one thing Yoko wants me to do (that I am not currently doing) is regular aerobic exercise. (Golf doesn't count.) I am having a hard time committing to aerobic exercise (like running or jogging). I know I should do it, so perhaps using the treadmill for 20 minutes a day should be one of this year's resolutions?
As far as my finances go, I don't really have any great ideas. We don't have any debt (other than a mortgage, which I plan to keep.) The plan for 2008 is to continue to work, try to increase my income and save 15 - 20% of what I make. I would like to say I will spend less, but with medical bills, college expenses and a wedding coming up, I don't think spending less is in the cards for 2008! I have already committed to gifting $2,400 ($100 every two weeks) to the Morgan Stanley Foundation. They will match my gift and I can commit the full $4800 to the charity or charities of my choice. I wish I could do more.
In the spiritual realm there are lots of things I should do. Unfortunately I have become a little too cynical about organized religion. I don't have a deeply held belief, but I am inspired by the life example and teachings of Christ. I would like to try and be more Christ-like in the new year. Wouldn't it be great if I could inspire good in others by example or bear the trial ahead without complaint? I think if I strive to live like Christ, I will one day be welcomed into heaven. If there is no heaven, I won't know the difference.
One thing I am committed to doing is achieving more with my time. I have always wanted to write a book. I have decided to try and do that in the next year. I have a partially written screenplay on the life of Alexander Hamilton that I want to complete as well. This time next year I hope I can report to you that I have completed both!
The Japanese have a lot of expressions or sayings. One of my favorites is "you eat an elephant one bite at a time." What I need to remember in 2008 is that I can achieve whatever I set out to do if I can make a habit of doing a little bit every day. My new year's resolution will be to work at all these things one bite at a time.
I am looking forward to a great 2008 and wish for all my family and friends health, happiness and God's blessings throughout the new year!
Monday, December 31, 2007
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Christmas Wrap Up
"So, how was Christmas?" you ask. It was great! I was so busy I really did not have time to make contributions to this diary. Now I have to try and recall everything that went on in the past week and record it here for posterity. This blog should catch you up. The week went by so fast it is a blur and I don't know how much I can accurately recall!
Let's see. Where did I leave off? Paula and June were both home and enjoying each other's company when I got home from golf with Len Johnson last Saturday. We went out to dinner that evening and the girls went out to Harpoon Harry's afterwards. On Sunday everyone slept until about 10 AM. I normally golf on Sunday, but I gave that up in order to be home while Paula and June were in town. At 11 AM Paula Kennedy came over to take photos. (Paula is a really talented portrait photographer, a friend, and the wife of my Rotary buddy, Don Kennedy. You can see some of her work on her website http://www.paulakennedyphoto.com/.) You should be able to see proofs of the photos she took any day now. After Paula left we ate lunch together (Italian cold cuts, Christmas cookies, etc.) Paula and June went shopping and Jessie and I went together to get some last minute things for Yoko.
The mall was absolutely packed, as it was the Sunday before Christmas. I was cruising around the parking lot and happened to find a space right near Macy's front door when a young girl in a beat-up Toyota coming from the opposite direction cut me off to take the space. I was so mad at this selfish rudeness I was fit to be tied. I can understand how such behavior leads to tragedy as I was ready to ram my car up this little girl's tailpipe just to teach her a lesson. If Jessie had not been with me to calm me down I might just have spent Christmas in jail!
At the mall Jessie and I quickly found the things we were looking for. We were out of there and home by 3PM. While Yoko and Grandma prepared the Sunday meal I fell asleep watching football. Paula and June returned home by 5 PM and we put on Christmas music and enjoyed a bottle of wine while Grandma was in the kitchen frying veal. We had veal and spaghetti for dinner, which, if you have been reading this blog for any length of time, now recognize as a favorite family meal. (And just for the record, I want to record here that my mother dips the veal in eggs and breadcrumbs -- NOT milk and breadcrumbs, as my wife had contended for many years. Anyway the meal was delicious and there was plenty of leftovers for veal and roasted peppers on an Italian roll for lunch the next day.
Jessie had a surprise party to go to on Sunday night and was excused from dinner at 6:30 PM. After dinner the girls cleaned up the kitchen and we all sat down to watch the 1984 version of "A Christmas Carol" with George C. Scott playing Scrooge. I think it was the best version of Dicken's classic story that I have ever seen. June was tired from jet lag that night and went to bed early.
Speaking of jet lag, I should note here that it was not possible to do anything (like watch a movie) for any length of time without some one's phone ringing and one girl or the other going off to speak in private with a friend or boyfriend. As the father, I am always bothered when I don't have the full attention of "my girls." I have not had their full attention for many years now, but it still bothers me. I guess it always will. I don't like to think that anyone competes with me for the attention of "my girls."
I did not work on Monday, Christmas eve. Everyone slept late. Yoko made banana bread for breakfast and before we knew it we were having the left over veal for lunch. It was almost like we cleared the breakfast table in order to get ready for lunch. Jessie and Paula went to the store one last time while Grandma, June and I watched the PBS special "South Pacific -- The Carnegie Hall Concert" featuring Reba McEntire and Brian Stokes Mitchell. What a great show that was! Alec Baldwin plays the part of Billis in the concert. You are welcome to come to my home to watch this anytime, or you can buy the DVD from PBS. I highly recommend it!
Of course, while we were watching South Pacific, Yoko was getting dinner ready. If you were to ask Yoko how she enjoyed Christmas, she'll tell you that all she remembers about Christmas this year was cooking. It seemed like when one meal was done it was time to get the next meal ready. On Christmas Eve we had our traditional dinner, which included bakala (dried cod in olive oil, garlic and crushed red pepper), oranges, salami olives and anchovies in olive oil and black pepper for an ante-pasta, squid and spaghetti for the main dish, and apple and mince meat pie for desert. It was the first Christmas that I can remember when everyone was not clamoring to open gifts. We all enjoyed the meal and the phone didn't ring once!
After dinner the three girls did the kitchen and we all sat down in the living room to open gifts. There were not as many gifts as in previous years, so I insisted that we open one at a time and try to savor the moment. I will not get into who got what other than to say that everyone enjoyed both the giving and receiving. I gave Yoko a lot of different things, but the gift I enjoyed giving the most was the electric hedge trimmer! (Yoko also has a sense of humor and purchased a George Forman grill for me.) We finished opening the gifts by 10 PM, after which we had the traditional fashion show that went on until about 11:30. We were exhausted and in bed by midnight.
Christmas morning Yoko got up to make to make googla's. After breakfast I took Paula, June and Grandma on a driving tour of Punta Gorda and Port Charlotte. They had not seen the town and all the rebuilding that has been going on. We went to see Charlotte Middle School, Charlotte High, the Sunloft Center, the Vivante development, etc. Everyone agreed that the face of Punta Gorda had changed a lot and has improved significantly since Hurricane Charley. After taking the tour, we came home to a lunch of left overs Yoko had prepared.
After lunch I was inspired to do some physical work and went outside to pressure wash the lanai and pool cage while June had a series of high school friends over to visit. During the day we spoke with everyone in the the family -- Frank, Jane, Linda and Peggy. All seemed to have a nice Christmas Eve, except Peggy, who managed to burn her hand badly while cooking, poor kid! She was recovered by Christmas day, but she really hurt the night before. Ironically we had a pork roast Peggy sent for Christmas dinner (Thanks Peg!) and then watched a DVD I gave to Yoko for Christmas. (The Borne Ultimatum, with Matt Damon, is what she wanted. I guess Yoko has a thing for Matt Damon!)
During the holidays I played cribbage with Grandma, who managed to beat me two out of three games the first night and again on Christmas day. She has the same Donovan luck my Grandfather had, which generally presents as " fifteen two, fifteen four, fifteen six, and a double run is twelve and a pair is fourteen and jack of the turned card is 15. Gee whiz." Whereas my hand was generally "fifteen two and a pair is four." Needless to say, I was skunked several times over the weekend.
Everyone was packed and ready to go home on the 26th. Yoko and I got up to take June to the airport at 4:30 AM. We left the house at 5 AM to get to the airport by 6 AM. We had time to talk before June had to board her plane at 7 AM. Yoko and I returned home by 8 Am, took a short nap and then got up to take Paula to the airport at 9:30 Am. We got to the airport in time to have another coffee and chat before Paula caught her 12:30 flight. Yoko and I returned home at noon, had lunch with Grandma, took another short nap before returning to the airport for a third time at 3 PM. After we dropped Grandma off Yoko and I headed into Ft Myers to catch a movie and have dinner. The movie we saw was "Charlie Wilson's War." As a story it was interesting, but I don't think it will win any awards. After the movie we went to eat Korean bar-b-que. Yoko had the usual bibinba while I had the barbecued beef.
And all of a sudden Christmas was over and everyone was back to work!
On Thursday I went into the office to take care of end-of-the-year business. I had a series of meetings with people to try and take care of things like RMDs and tax-loss harvesting. Kirby Rowe came to visit on Thursday and we ended up having lunch at Amimoto's.
On Friday night after work Yoko and I met up with Brian and Lori Brunderman. We took a tour of their beautiful new home and then joined them and their family (Matt Christine and grandson Wyatt, and Erin and Daniel) for dinner at Carabbas.
On Saturday we slept in and then Jessie and I decided to go golfing at Verandah. I played poorly; Jessie played pretty well and ended up taking six dollars from me. Yoko dropped us off at the course and went shopping while we were golfing. She picked us up at 4:30 and we decided to eat at Verandah before going home. (Note: This was the third night in a row that Yoko did NOT have to cook!)
Saturday night Yoko and I went to Mike Riley's house for a party, where we saw many of our friends. Pretty clearly everyone there knew about my condition and I got a lot of hugs and pats on the back. Of course, all my friends are very supportive. Kathy Taylor said that she and Sabin were "mad" that we had not told them about the diagnosis, as they considered us good friends. I think what she was trying to say was that they were "mad" because they want to help. Anyway, it was nice to see our friends and to hear words of encouragement. The party was going on during the New England vs. Giants game. We ended up watching the game during the party and trying unsuccessfully to shout down the Patriot fans.
That brings us to today. I played golf in the morning as usual. My game was horrible. I had a 55 on the front and 44 on the back. The highlight was back to back birdies on holes 10 and 11. We play a Stafford points game in my Sunday league. A bogey is worth one point, par is two points and birdies are worth 4 points. Your "handicap" is determined by how many points on average you normally make. I usually make 22 - 24 points, but for the last four weeks I have been making 15 or so points. Today I was seven under (i.e. needed to make 22 points and I only made 15, eight of which were the two birdies). That should give you some idea of how badly I played. I only had three points on the front nine! The shot of the day was my drive on a short par 3 hole, where I put the ball about 6 inches from the cup from 130 yards. It was nearly a hole in one!
After golf I came home and slept until dinner time. I have felt very tired and lack energy to do very much. I did get a number of phone calls over the holidays. Uncle Tim called tonight to say hello and to complain that I have not blogged lately. I also got a call from my friend Mark Campbell who was vacationing in Hawaii . And from a buddy of mine, Doug Bivens, who now lives in Tennessee, called to find out how I am doing.
A lot of people have expressed support and concern this holiday and promised to remember us in their prayers. Mom and Dad Friscia sent me a mass card, which I really appreciated getting.
Unless something like this happens to you, it is hard to understand how totally consumed you become with the disease and your prognosis. I am thinking about it nearly every waking moment. It is my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night. When I am not thinking about it or reading about it I am planning for it, wondering who knows about it, or looking at things through the lens of a sudden awareness of the limited time left. For example, as I take the tour of the beautiful house Brian has built for Lori I am feel sorry I can't do something similar for Yoko. When I meet Brian's grandson, I am thinking about whether I will ever meet my own. At the party, I am talking with people and at the same time wondering what they will be saying about me when I am gone. When I almost hit a hole in one today, I am wondering if that is the closest I will ever come. Time seems very short and finite and I wish it were not so.
People say that keeping a positive attitude is important and I think I am very positive ... but you can't help but to fear for the future. I read the Lung Cancer Alliance Survivor Website every day; mostly it is stories about how people are struggling with this disease. They are fine one day and suddenly dealing with brain tumors the next. It can't help but scare you, esspecially when you feel as well as I do right now. How long will my current good health last?
The new year is upon us and I have been thinking about what I would like to accomplish. I have decided to make a resolution to write more. I always wanted to write a book on American culture and American life. I am thinking that 2008 -- a very political year -- is the year to do it. I plan to start a new (public) blog "Uncommon Sense -- A Running Commentary on Modern American Life." I'll let you know when I get it started!
Happy New Year!
Let's see. Where did I leave off? Paula and June were both home and enjoying each other's company when I got home from golf with Len Johnson last Saturday. We went out to dinner that evening and the girls went out to Harpoon Harry's afterwards. On Sunday everyone slept until about 10 AM. I normally golf on Sunday, but I gave that up in order to be home while Paula and June were in town. At 11 AM Paula Kennedy came over to take photos. (Paula is a really talented portrait photographer, a friend, and the wife of my Rotary buddy, Don Kennedy. You can see some of her work on her website http://www.paulakennedyphoto.com/.) You should be able to see proofs of the photos she took any day now. After Paula left we ate lunch together (Italian cold cuts, Christmas cookies, etc.) Paula and June went shopping and Jessie and I went together to get some last minute things for Yoko.
The mall was absolutely packed, as it was the Sunday before Christmas. I was cruising around the parking lot and happened to find a space right near Macy's front door when a young girl in a beat-up Toyota coming from the opposite direction cut me off to take the space. I was so mad at this selfish rudeness I was fit to be tied. I can understand how such behavior leads to tragedy as I was ready to ram my car up this little girl's tailpipe just to teach her a lesson. If Jessie had not been with me to calm me down I might just have spent Christmas in jail!
At the mall Jessie and I quickly found the things we were looking for. We were out of there and home by 3PM. While Yoko and Grandma prepared the Sunday meal I fell asleep watching football. Paula and June returned home by 5 PM and we put on Christmas music and enjoyed a bottle of wine while Grandma was in the kitchen frying veal. We had veal and spaghetti for dinner, which, if you have been reading this blog for any length of time, now recognize as a favorite family meal. (And just for the record, I want to record here that my mother dips the veal in eggs and breadcrumbs -- NOT milk and breadcrumbs, as my wife had contended for many years. Anyway the meal was delicious and there was plenty of leftovers for veal and roasted peppers on an Italian roll for lunch the next day.
Jessie had a surprise party to go to on Sunday night and was excused from dinner at 6:30 PM. After dinner the girls cleaned up the kitchen and we all sat down to watch the 1984 version of "A Christmas Carol" with George C. Scott playing Scrooge. I think it was the best version of Dicken's classic story that I have ever seen. June was tired from jet lag that night and went to bed early.
Speaking of jet lag, I should note here that it was not possible to do anything (like watch a movie) for any length of time without some one's phone ringing and one girl or the other going off to speak in private with a friend or boyfriend. As the father, I am always bothered when I don't have the full attention of "my girls." I have not had their full attention for many years now, but it still bothers me. I guess it always will. I don't like to think that anyone competes with me for the attention of "my girls."
I did not work on Monday, Christmas eve. Everyone slept late. Yoko made banana bread for breakfast and before we knew it we were having the left over veal for lunch. It was almost like we cleared the breakfast table in order to get ready for lunch. Jessie and Paula went to the store one last time while Grandma, June and I watched the PBS special "South Pacific -- The Carnegie Hall Concert" featuring Reba McEntire and Brian Stokes Mitchell. What a great show that was! Alec Baldwin plays the part of Billis in the concert. You are welcome to come to my home to watch this anytime, or you can buy the DVD from PBS. I highly recommend it!
Of course, while we were watching South Pacific, Yoko was getting dinner ready. If you were to ask Yoko how she enjoyed Christmas, she'll tell you that all she remembers about Christmas this year was cooking. It seemed like when one meal was done it was time to get the next meal ready. On Christmas Eve we had our traditional dinner, which included bakala (dried cod in olive oil, garlic and crushed red pepper), oranges, salami olives and anchovies in olive oil and black pepper for an ante-pasta, squid and spaghetti for the main dish, and apple and mince meat pie for desert. It was the first Christmas that I can remember when everyone was not clamoring to open gifts. We all enjoyed the meal and the phone didn't ring once!
After dinner the three girls did the kitchen and we all sat down in the living room to open gifts. There were not as many gifts as in previous years, so I insisted that we open one at a time and try to savor the moment. I will not get into who got what other than to say that everyone enjoyed both the giving and receiving. I gave Yoko a lot of different things, but the gift I enjoyed giving the most was the electric hedge trimmer! (Yoko also has a sense of humor and purchased a George Forman grill for me.) We finished opening the gifts by 10 PM, after which we had the traditional fashion show that went on until about 11:30. We were exhausted and in bed by midnight.
Christmas morning Yoko got up to make to make googla's. After breakfast I took Paula, June and Grandma on a driving tour of Punta Gorda and Port Charlotte. They had not seen the town and all the rebuilding that has been going on. We went to see Charlotte Middle School, Charlotte High, the Sunloft Center, the Vivante development, etc. Everyone agreed that the face of Punta Gorda had changed a lot and has improved significantly since Hurricane Charley. After taking the tour, we came home to a lunch of left overs Yoko had prepared.
After lunch I was inspired to do some physical work and went outside to pressure wash the lanai and pool cage while June had a series of high school friends over to visit. During the day we spoke with everyone in the the family -- Frank, Jane, Linda and Peggy. All seemed to have a nice Christmas Eve, except Peggy, who managed to burn her hand badly while cooking, poor kid! She was recovered by Christmas day, but she really hurt the night before. Ironically we had a pork roast Peggy sent for Christmas dinner (Thanks Peg!) and then watched a DVD I gave to Yoko for Christmas. (The Borne Ultimatum, with Matt Damon, is what she wanted. I guess Yoko has a thing for Matt Damon!)
During the holidays I played cribbage with Grandma, who managed to beat me two out of three games the first night and again on Christmas day. She has the same Donovan luck my Grandfather had, which generally presents as " fifteen two, fifteen four, fifteen six, and a double run is twelve and a pair is fourteen and jack of the turned card is 15. Gee whiz." Whereas my hand was generally "fifteen two and a pair is four." Needless to say, I was skunked several times over the weekend.
Everyone was packed and ready to go home on the 26th. Yoko and I got up to take June to the airport at 4:30 AM. We left the house at 5 AM to get to the airport by 6 AM. We had time to talk before June had to board her plane at 7 AM. Yoko and I returned home by 8 Am, took a short nap and then got up to take Paula to the airport at 9:30 Am. We got to the airport in time to have another coffee and chat before Paula caught her 12:30 flight. Yoko and I returned home at noon, had lunch with Grandma, took another short nap before returning to the airport for a third time at 3 PM. After we dropped Grandma off Yoko and I headed into Ft Myers to catch a movie and have dinner. The movie we saw was "Charlie Wilson's War." As a story it was interesting, but I don't think it will win any awards. After the movie we went to eat Korean bar-b-que. Yoko had the usual bibinba while I had the barbecued beef.
And all of a sudden Christmas was over and everyone was back to work!
On Thursday I went into the office to take care of end-of-the-year business. I had a series of meetings with people to try and take care of things like RMDs and tax-loss harvesting. Kirby Rowe came to visit on Thursday and we ended up having lunch at Amimoto's.
On Friday night after work Yoko and I met up with Brian and Lori Brunderman. We took a tour of their beautiful new home and then joined them and their family (Matt Christine and grandson Wyatt, and Erin and Daniel) for dinner at Carabbas.
On Saturday we slept in and then Jessie and I decided to go golfing at Verandah. I played poorly; Jessie played pretty well and ended up taking six dollars from me. Yoko dropped us off at the course and went shopping while we were golfing. She picked us up at 4:30 and we decided to eat at Verandah before going home. (Note: This was the third night in a row that Yoko did NOT have to cook!)
Saturday night Yoko and I went to Mike Riley's house for a party, where we saw many of our friends. Pretty clearly everyone there knew about my condition and I got a lot of hugs and pats on the back. Of course, all my friends are very supportive. Kathy Taylor said that she and Sabin were "mad" that we had not told them about the diagnosis, as they considered us good friends. I think what she was trying to say was that they were "mad" because they want to help. Anyway, it was nice to see our friends and to hear words of encouragement. The party was going on during the New England vs. Giants game. We ended up watching the game during the party and trying unsuccessfully to shout down the Patriot fans.
That brings us to today. I played golf in the morning as usual. My game was horrible. I had a 55 on the front and 44 on the back. The highlight was back to back birdies on holes 10 and 11. We play a Stafford points game in my Sunday league. A bogey is worth one point, par is two points and birdies are worth 4 points. Your "handicap" is determined by how many points on average you normally make. I usually make 22 - 24 points, but for the last four weeks I have been making 15 or so points. Today I was seven under (i.e. needed to make 22 points and I only made 15, eight of which were the two birdies). That should give you some idea of how badly I played. I only had three points on the front nine! The shot of the day was my drive on a short par 3 hole, where I put the ball about 6 inches from the cup from 130 yards. It was nearly a hole in one!
After golf I came home and slept until dinner time. I have felt very tired and lack energy to do very much. I did get a number of phone calls over the holidays. Uncle Tim called tonight to say hello and to complain that I have not blogged lately. I also got a call from my friend Mark Campbell who was vacationing in Hawaii . And from a buddy of mine, Doug Bivens, who now lives in Tennessee, called to find out how I am doing.
A lot of people have expressed support and concern this holiday and promised to remember us in their prayers. Mom and Dad Friscia sent me a mass card, which I really appreciated getting.
Unless something like this happens to you, it is hard to understand how totally consumed you become with the disease and your prognosis. I am thinking about it nearly every waking moment. It is my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night. When I am not thinking about it or reading about it I am planning for it, wondering who knows about it, or looking at things through the lens of a sudden awareness of the limited time left. For example, as I take the tour of the beautiful house Brian has built for Lori I am feel sorry I can't do something similar for Yoko. When I meet Brian's grandson, I am thinking about whether I will ever meet my own. At the party, I am talking with people and at the same time wondering what they will be saying about me when I am gone. When I almost hit a hole in one today, I am wondering if that is the closest I will ever come. Time seems very short and finite and I wish it were not so.
People say that keeping a positive attitude is important and I think I am very positive ... but you can't help but to fear for the future. I read the Lung Cancer Alliance Survivor Website every day; mostly it is stories about how people are struggling with this disease. They are fine one day and suddenly dealing with brain tumors the next. It can't help but scare you, esspecially when you feel as well as I do right now. How long will my current good health last?
The new year is upon us and I have been thinking about what I would like to accomplish. I have decided to make a resolution to write more. I always wanted to write a book on American culture and American life. I am thinking that 2008 -- a very political year -- is the year to do it. I plan to start a new (public) blog "Uncommon Sense -- A Running Commentary on Modern American Life." I'll let you know when I get it started!
Happy New Year!
Monday, December 24, 2007
Christmas Letter 2007
December 9, 2007
Dear Family and Friends:
Merry Christmas! If you recall, last year I wrote my annual Christmas missive as a letter to my father who passed away in January of 2002. I was missing him and thought it would be a nice idea to make him the centerpiece of my Christmas thoughts. I ended last year’s letter with the tongue in cheek "See you soon?" never expecting to be diagnosed this year with a terminal disease! He must have been listening! Come on Dad, I was only KIDDING!
I DO think of my father every day. Since he died, I wear the Immaculate metal that he wore his whole life. The inscription on the metal says, "O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee." The metal was given to my father to protect him during WWII. Now it hangs on my chest just over the area where I have a tumor. I have to move it out of the way to receive my radiation treatments. I am thinking about my father a lot these days and look forward to seeing him again…. But I am hoping I’ll be permitted a few more years on earth to enjoy my own family before that time comes!
We started the year with high hopes and expectations. My practice as a financial advisor was healthy and growing. Jessie was finishing her last year of high school, and Paula and June were adjusting well to their new lives outside the nest.
In March Paula and long-time boyfriend Brian Mara were formally engaged to be married. The wedding is set for June 7, 2008 in Santa Monica, CA and we are looking forward to seeing many of you there. Paula is now working as a 1st grade teacher in Bakersfield, California. Brian is working as a probation officer in the same town. They seem to be very happy together and we are happy for them. Hopefully things stay that way and the run-up to the wedding will not be material for a new episode of Bridezilla! Stay tuned.
In April I learned that Smith Barney planned to close the Punta Gorda office where I was working. I took a few weeks to mull over my options and in May decided to move to Morgan Stanley in the same town. I spent a hectic summer moving most of my clients with me. Making a change like this is the proverbial one step forward and two steps backward. The change took some of the air out of the positive momentum I had building in my practice, but I was thankful to have kept the core of my business in tact. Having to make a move was a setback, but I hope to be back to where I was (asset and production wise) within the year, if not sooner. (You can see what happened to Citigroup’s stock since I left.)
Jessie graduated High School in May and spent the summer saying goodbye to old friends and getting ready for her new life as a student at Florida State. She plans to study TV production, if she can get into the very competitive program there. Over the summer Jessie served as a "Red Shirt" (councilor) at Rotary’s Seminar for Tomorrow’s Leaders. She has been asked to come back as a "White Shirt" (senior councilor) this coming year, which is quite an honor. Very few out of the hundreds of kids that participate in the program are asked to come back. We are so proud of Jessie and everything she has accomplished! She has adjusted well to life at FSU; we know because she has never complained about being homesick and did not even think about coming home to visit until November!
My transition to Morgan Stanley was complete by the end of July and we celebrated by going to California to see Paula and Brian and to meet Brian’s family, who welcomed all of us with open arms. After that we flew on to Hawaii to see daughter June and soak up some Hawaiian sun. Paula tagged along and we ended up having a family reunion on Waikiki beach. June had been working in Honolulu for Dave Erdman, a friend of mine at Pac Rim Marketing until October. After just over a year in that job she decided to change positions and is now with the marketing department of the Kahala Hotel and Resorts on Oahu. June is working hard in the new job but seems to be happy. We’re looking forward to her coming home to visit this Christmas.
We got back from Hawaii in time to take Jessie to school in mid August, after which Yoko and I became official "empty nesters." We immediately made a number of "free at last" trips – to Ft Lauderdale, New Mexico and New York City -- before learning in October that I was ill. I had been complaining about a cough for months and finally went to see my family physician. He ordered a chest x-ray and that’s when we discovered a tumor in my lung. I have had a seven-week course of chemotherapy and radiation, thankfully with little by way of adverse side effects. We are now in a waiting period to see what effect the treatment has had on the cancer. We are praying for a good outcome this Christmas. We’ll know where we stand in January and that will set the stage for 2008.
All of this, of course, has been hard on Yoko. She never complains but I worry about her. She has been a trouper throughout the year, ever the optimist that things will work out fine as they always do. Yoko continues to take care of me and our home, while working for the Japanese restaurant in town. My office at Morgan Stanley is in the same complex as the restaurant, so we are never far from each other!
One thing I have learned is that in the game of life, it is not what cards you are dealt …it is how you choose to play them. We are determined to remain optimistic use our remaining time together to live rich and fulfilling lives. I am so thankful for my family who loves and cares for me and especially for my wife, Yoko.
This Christmas I feel a little like Ebenezer Scrooge after his visit with The Spirit of Christmas Yet to Come. I too have no time to waste. So I plan to make this a very Merry Christmas and look forward to all the joyous blessings that await us in the New Year.
God bless you all for all your good wishes and prayers.
Love to all and best wishes to you for good health and happiness in 2008!
Tom and Yoko
Dear Family and Friends:
Merry Christmas! If you recall, last year I wrote my annual Christmas missive as a letter to my father who passed away in January of 2002. I was missing him and thought it would be a nice idea to make him the centerpiece of my Christmas thoughts. I ended last year’s letter with the tongue in cheek "See you soon?" never expecting to be diagnosed this year with a terminal disease! He must have been listening! Come on Dad, I was only KIDDING!
I DO think of my father every day. Since he died, I wear the Immaculate metal that he wore his whole life. The inscription on the metal says, "O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee." The metal was given to my father to protect him during WWII. Now it hangs on my chest just over the area where I have a tumor. I have to move it out of the way to receive my radiation treatments. I am thinking about my father a lot these days and look forward to seeing him again…. But I am hoping I’ll be permitted a few more years on earth to enjoy my own family before that time comes!
We started the year with high hopes and expectations. My practice as a financial advisor was healthy and growing. Jessie was finishing her last year of high school, and Paula and June were adjusting well to their new lives outside the nest.
In March Paula and long-time boyfriend Brian Mara were formally engaged to be married. The wedding is set for June 7, 2008 in Santa Monica, CA and we are looking forward to seeing many of you there. Paula is now working as a 1st grade teacher in Bakersfield, California. Brian is working as a probation officer in the same town. They seem to be very happy together and we are happy for them. Hopefully things stay that way and the run-up to the wedding will not be material for a new episode of Bridezilla! Stay tuned.
In April I learned that Smith Barney planned to close the Punta Gorda office where I was working. I took a few weeks to mull over my options and in May decided to move to Morgan Stanley in the same town. I spent a hectic summer moving most of my clients with me. Making a change like this is the proverbial one step forward and two steps backward. The change took some of the air out of the positive momentum I had building in my practice, but I was thankful to have kept the core of my business in tact. Having to make a move was a setback, but I hope to be back to where I was (asset and production wise) within the year, if not sooner. (You can see what happened to Citigroup’s stock since I left.)
Jessie graduated High School in May and spent the summer saying goodbye to old friends and getting ready for her new life as a student at Florida State. She plans to study TV production, if she can get into the very competitive program there. Over the summer Jessie served as a "Red Shirt" (councilor) at Rotary’s Seminar for Tomorrow’s Leaders. She has been asked to come back as a "White Shirt" (senior councilor) this coming year, which is quite an honor. Very few out of the hundreds of kids that participate in the program are asked to come back. We are so proud of Jessie and everything she has accomplished! She has adjusted well to life at FSU; we know because she has never complained about being homesick and did not even think about coming home to visit until November!
My transition to Morgan Stanley was complete by the end of July and we celebrated by going to California to see Paula and Brian and to meet Brian’s family, who welcomed all of us with open arms. After that we flew on to Hawaii to see daughter June and soak up some Hawaiian sun. Paula tagged along and we ended up having a family reunion on Waikiki beach. June had been working in Honolulu for Dave Erdman, a friend of mine at Pac Rim Marketing until October. After just over a year in that job she decided to change positions and is now with the marketing department of the Kahala Hotel and Resorts on Oahu. June is working hard in the new job but seems to be happy. We’re looking forward to her coming home to visit this Christmas.
We got back from Hawaii in time to take Jessie to school in mid August, after which Yoko and I became official "empty nesters." We immediately made a number of "free at last" trips – to Ft Lauderdale, New Mexico and New York City -- before learning in October that I was ill. I had been complaining about a cough for months and finally went to see my family physician. He ordered a chest x-ray and that’s when we discovered a tumor in my lung. I have had a seven-week course of chemotherapy and radiation, thankfully with little by way of adverse side effects. We are now in a waiting period to see what effect the treatment has had on the cancer. We are praying for a good outcome this Christmas. We’ll know where we stand in January and that will set the stage for 2008.
All of this, of course, has been hard on Yoko. She never complains but I worry about her. She has been a trouper throughout the year, ever the optimist that things will work out fine as they always do. Yoko continues to take care of me and our home, while working for the Japanese restaurant in town. My office at Morgan Stanley is in the same complex as the restaurant, so we are never far from each other!
One thing I have learned is that in the game of life, it is not what cards you are dealt …it is how you choose to play them. We are determined to remain optimistic use our remaining time together to live rich and fulfilling lives. I am so thankful for my family who loves and cares for me and especially for my wife, Yoko.
This Christmas I feel a little like Ebenezer Scrooge after his visit with The Spirit of Christmas Yet to Come. I too have no time to waste. So I plan to make this a very Merry Christmas and look forward to all the joyous blessings that await us in the New Year.
God bless you all for all your good wishes and prayers.
Love to all and best wishes to you for good health and happiness in 2008!
Tom and Yoko
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Twas The Night Before Christmas...
TWAS the night before Christmas and all through the house....not a creature was stirring....not even Paula, June or Jessica! Pictured here are the three girls recovering from a night out at Harpoon Harry's.Paula arrived here yesterday afternoon after nearly missing her plane at LAX. She got to the airport in plenty of time, but there were so many people it took three hours to get her boarding pass and make it through security. She had to run to catch her flight! It was a good thing that she made it because the next flight she could get on would not have been until Monday!
Since Paula did not get here until noon, I decided to accept Len Johnson's invitation to golf yesterday. I played the best round I have had in a while ... a very respectable 83 at Twin Isles. (I think Len was was thinking he could kick my ass, so I was glad to put on a strong defense.)
I made it home after golf to find all the girls and Grandma home. We had a few hours to chat before getting ready to go out. Yoko had the night off from cooking Instead we went to dinner at the Perfect Caper. We enjoyed a nice meal out and returned home by 9:30. June wanted to meet her high school friends at Harpoon's for a drink. Paula agreed to chaperon and Jessie was the designated driver. They all went out around 10 PM. Grandma, Yoko and I went to bed. The girls must have had a good time, since they all ended up coming home and sleeping together!
This morning Paula Kennedy came over to take the family portrait, which was a gift from my brother and sisters. We will be able to see the pictures she took online before Christmas is over. I will put a link to the website once they are posted, so you can see them too. After the photo session we had lunch and then Jessie and I went to do some last minute shopping for Mom. Paula and June did the same.
I am writing this blog as Yoko and the girls get ready for dinner. We are having veal and spaghetti...Mom is frying the veal and it smells SO good. Miraculously, I have no pain at all now when I am eating, so I should be able to fatten up this Christmas.
Oops! Yoko is calling me to eat. Have to go!
Friday, December 21, 2007
Feeling No Pain -- Just in the "Nick" of Time
Finally the pain from swallowing is subsiding, just in time for Christmas feasting. Perhaps it is the wine I've been drinking all evening? Yoko made lamb for dinner and I could eat it without wincing or crying out. I am feeling much better today. I am still a somewhat tired, but nothing I can't live with.
June thankfully made it home safely from Hawaii this morning. Apparently she enjoyed the nine-hour leg between Honolulu and Atlanta behind a baby that never stopped screaming and a cat (feline) that farts. Other than that, she got here without incident. Yoko picked June up in Ft Myers at 9:30 AM.
Tomorrow Paula will be arriving at about the same time. Jessie will fetch her in the morning and we'll then thave a full house. Apparently Paula has arranged to have breakfast with her friends upon her arrival. (That way she won't have to make a special trip to Ft Myers while she is here.) June also announced that she is meeting friends for breakfast at The Smokehouse in the morning. I guess I could have gone golfing after all!
I still have not gotten Yoko a "major" gift for Christmas, so my plan is to go look for something in the morning. We've been discussing what I should get her, but we have not settled on anything yet. I keep joking (well, half joking) that I am going to get her a chain saw and a gas card. Actually, I think we did settle on the idea of taking a trip around Florida to eat at five star restaurants. I have to do a little research to find the finest restaurants in Florida. (Suggestions are welcomed!)
I came home from work early today to eat lunch with the family. I stopped by the local Italian bakery and purchased a few pounds of Christmas cookies and pastries and the traditional honey balls. After lunch June and Jessie went shopping, Yoko went to the grocery store, and Mom and I stayed home to watch a DVD of South Pacific at Carnegie Hall with Reba McIntyre.
Everyone was home by 5 PM, so we sat out on the lanai and had drinks and talked until dinner. It was a beautiful evening. Dinner was celery soup, lamb and potatoes, a cucumber salad and for desert, flan ( or is it spelled phlang?). We listened to Christmas music after dinner while Grandma took me to the cleaners playing cribbage. She has the luck of the Donovans...
We received a lot of Christmas cards today from people we normally hear from each year. We always enjoy getting cards and notes from family and friends at this time of year. My favorite is the letter I get each year from Eric Madsen detailing the mad-cap activities of his family. Eric has a sense of humor that is unmatched. I will post a sampling when I have more time.
All this makes it feel like Christmas; all is right in the world tonight.
June thankfully made it home safely from Hawaii this morning. Apparently she enjoyed the nine-hour leg between Honolulu and Atlanta behind a baby that never stopped screaming and a cat (feline) that farts. Other than that, she got here without incident. Yoko picked June up in Ft Myers at 9:30 AM.
Tomorrow Paula will be arriving at about the same time. Jessie will fetch her in the morning and we'll then thave a full house. Apparently Paula has arranged to have breakfast with her friends upon her arrival. (That way she won't have to make a special trip to Ft Myers while she is here.) June also announced that she is meeting friends for breakfast at The Smokehouse in the morning. I guess I could have gone golfing after all!
I still have not gotten Yoko a "major" gift for Christmas, so my plan is to go look for something in the morning. We've been discussing what I should get her, but we have not settled on anything yet. I keep joking (well, half joking) that I am going to get her a chain saw and a gas card. Actually, I think we did settle on the idea of taking a trip around Florida to eat at five star restaurants. I have to do a little research to find the finest restaurants in Florida. (Suggestions are welcomed!)
I came home from work early today to eat lunch with the family. I stopped by the local Italian bakery and purchased a few pounds of Christmas cookies and pastries and the traditional honey balls. After lunch June and Jessie went shopping, Yoko went to the grocery store, and Mom and I stayed home to watch a DVD of South Pacific at Carnegie Hall with Reba McIntyre.
Everyone was home by 5 PM, so we sat out on the lanai and had drinks and talked until dinner. It was a beautiful evening. Dinner was celery soup, lamb and potatoes, a cucumber salad and for desert, flan ( or is it spelled phlang?). We listened to Christmas music after dinner while Grandma took me to the cleaners playing cribbage. She has the luck of the Donovans...
We received a lot of Christmas cards today from people we normally hear from each year. We always enjoy getting cards and notes from family and friends at this time of year. My favorite is the letter I get each year from Eric Madsen detailing the mad-cap activities of his family. Eric has a sense of humor that is unmatched. I will post a sampling when I have more time.
All this makes it feel like Christmas; all is right in the world tonight.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
OK....The Preliminary Results Are In
I went to see Dr Scott Lunin today and he provided me with a report from the radiologist that reads as follows:
Observation
PA and Lateral Chest
FINDINGS: PA and lateral views F the chest obtained on 12-17-07 again demonstrate a para tracheal mass on the right. This mass is significantly decreased in size since the prior study, now measuring 5.9 X 3.8 cm in longitudinal and transverse dimensions. The mass previously measured 9.0 X 7.1 cm in similar dimensions.
Heart size is normal. There is minimal atherosclerosis on the thoracic aorta. Pulmonary vascularity appears to be within normal limits. There appears to be minimal apical pleura thickening. There is a prominent bulla within the right apex identified, unchanged from the prior study, and measuring 7cm in size.
Impression
Significant decrease in size of a previously noted right para tracheal mass when compared to the study of 10-2-07. A preliminary report was provided with this examination. Progression of findings was not seen on the current study
----------
I would say that is good news, wouldn't you? Scott Lunin seemed to think that we could not have hoped for better news as this means I have been highly receptive to the current treatment. I am scheduled for a CT and PET scan in mid January and we will begin consolidation chemo after that. My blood count was about the same as last time we checked, but should improve over the course of the next month.
I came home to celebrate and was greeted by Yoko with the news that she had gotten a $180 speeding ticket on Veterans Blvd for going 60 in a 45 MPH zone. Yoko blamed Mom for distracting her while she was driving. Before Yoko even finished telling her story, Jessie walked in the door. She has the estimate to fix her little fender bender...total would be about $600 for the bumper and about $500 for the small dent in her door. So within about 2 minutes of arriving home, the two girls has brought home $1300 in damages and expenses.
We decided to pop a bottle of champagne nonetheless. The consolidation chemo will probably begin in February and go on for three or four months....that would take us to April or May. Travel plans will have to be postponed until then. Anyway, I wanted to share with you this bit of good news, which is very encouraging.
I am also finally eating without as much pain. I enjoyed lunch today (I had sweet and sour at a Local Thai restaurant) and am looking forward to having more "solid food" again. I weighed in at the doctors today at 152 lbs....about the same weight as when I started chemo radiation.
I am never going to be cancer free; but I think today's results say that I am on my way to extending my life expectancy. Let's hope things continue to move in a positive direction.
Observation
PA and Lateral Chest
FINDINGS: PA and lateral views F the chest obtained on 12-17-07 again demonstrate a para tracheal mass on the right. This mass is significantly decreased in size since the prior study, now measuring 5.9 X 3.8 cm in longitudinal and transverse dimensions. The mass previously measured 9.0 X 7.1 cm in similar dimensions.
Heart size is normal. There is minimal atherosclerosis on the thoracic aorta. Pulmonary vascularity appears to be within normal limits. There appears to be minimal apical pleura thickening. There is a prominent bulla within the right apex identified, unchanged from the prior study, and measuring 7cm in size.
Impression
Significant decrease in size of a previously noted right para tracheal mass when compared to the study of 10-2-07. A preliminary report was provided with this examination. Progression of findings was not seen on the current study
----------
I would say that is good news, wouldn't you? Scott Lunin seemed to think that we could not have hoped for better news as this means I have been highly receptive to the current treatment. I am scheduled for a CT and PET scan in mid January and we will begin consolidation chemo after that. My blood count was about the same as last time we checked, but should improve over the course of the next month.
I came home to celebrate and was greeted by Yoko with the news that she had gotten a $180 speeding ticket on Veterans Blvd for going 60 in a 45 MPH zone. Yoko blamed Mom for distracting her while she was driving. Before Yoko even finished telling her story, Jessie walked in the door. She has the estimate to fix her little fender bender...total would be about $600 for the bumper and about $500 for the small dent in her door. So within about 2 minutes of arriving home, the two girls has brought home $1300 in damages and expenses.
We decided to pop a bottle of champagne nonetheless. The consolidation chemo will probably begin in February and go on for three or four months....that would take us to April or May. Travel plans will have to be postponed until then. Anyway, I wanted to share with you this bit of good news, which is very encouraging.
I am also finally eating without as much pain. I enjoyed lunch today (I had sweet and sour at a Local Thai restaurant) and am looking forward to having more "solid food" again. I weighed in at the doctors today at 152 lbs....about the same weight as when I started chemo radiation.
I am never going to be cancer free; but I think today's results say that I am on my way to extending my life expectancy. Let's hope things continue to move in a positive direction.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Tumors and Rumors
I went to see Dr Lunin today because I have some swelling around my jaws and a tooth ache. I think I may have an infection and I don't want it to get worse. He prescribed Amoxicillin 875 mg... to be taken 2 Xs a day for 10 days. Hopefully this will knock out any infection I may have.
While I was there, Dr. Lunin called to get the results of my x-ray. The tumor has shrunk from about 6.8cm to about three something cm in diameter (about half the size) which may translate into a larger percentage, in terms of volume. Again, it is hard to see and measure, but what we know is that the treatment is working as hoped to reduce the tumor size. It is very encouraging news and perhaps the most we can hope for at this stage. The PET scan, which will give us an idea about the metabolic activity (how active the cells are) will be the real test in January. We had SUV values in the area of 5 to 6, which is highly active. A reduction of SUV values to 2 or so would be a very good outcome. Keep praying. So far so good! We plan to revisit the question of surgery once more. If Dr Robinson thought the tumor was now resectable, that would be the very best outcome. I am not too hopeful, but we'll see.
I met with a client who I had not seen for a while. He was somewhat insistent that there must be something wrong with my health and both he and his wife were concerned because I had lost a lot of weight since they had last seen me. I did not feel comfortable continuing to deny there was a problem, so I decided to confess. In light of all the leaks I felt this would be a good client to "test the waters" and see what his reaction would be. After I told him I had been diagnosed with lung cancer, said he regretted having pressed me. I explained why I decided to keep this information private and he understood and agreed with my thinking. In fact, he said that I "had nothing to gain by telling clients." Hmmm.... we'll see what happens now. This particular client will keep the information to himself and is outside the country for more than half the year, so I am not concerned that he will be telling anyone beyond his wife and children.
I found out tonight that the google search engine picked up anything I had written about in my blog. Apparently, the executive director of St Vincent de Paul learned about my illness two weeks ago! (He googled St Vincent de Paul and saw my blog....the rest, as they say, is history.) Who know how many other searches have turned up my blog. I do know my profile was seen 178 times...two days prior to that it had only been viewed 150 times. (I finally figured out how to eliminate my blog profile from being searchable as well.) So much for secrets.
Yoko and Jessie picked Mom up from the airport. Her flight was uneventful, but it was a long day for her. I came home from work at 4:30 so I could spend some time with Mom before running off to a Rotary Board meeting tonight at 6 PM. I got back from Rotary at 8:30 this evening and we had dinner -- fried fish, garlic rice and beans. After dinner we sat around the kitchen table chatting until 11 PM. Our talk covered so many things I could not possibly summarize them all in the time I have tonight. But I do want to report that we decided the menu for the remainder of the week. Yoko and the girls are going to be busy cooking. I am looking forward to enjoying every bite and the swallow that follows!
While I was there, Dr. Lunin called to get the results of my x-ray. The tumor has shrunk from about 6.8cm to about three something cm in diameter (about half the size) which may translate into a larger percentage, in terms of volume. Again, it is hard to see and measure, but what we know is that the treatment is working as hoped to reduce the tumor size. It is very encouraging news and perhaps the most we can hope for at this stage. The PET scan, which will give us an idea about the metabolic activity (how active the cells are) will be the real test in January. We had SUV values in the area of 5 to 6, which is highly active. A reduction of SUV values to 2 or so would be a very good outcome. Keep praying. So far so good! We plan to revisit the question of surgery once more. If Dr Robinson thought the tumor was now resectable, that would be the very best outcome. I am not too hopeful, but we'll see.
I met with a client who I had not seen for a while. He was somewhat insistent that there must be something wrong with my health and both he and his wife were concerned because I had lost a lot of weight since they had last seen me. I did not feel comfortable continuing to deny there was a problem, so I decided to confess. In light of all the leaks I felt this would be a good client to "test the waters" and see what his reaction would be. After I told him I had been diagnosed with lung cancer, said he regretted having pressed me. I explained why I decided to keep this information private and he understood and agreed with my thinking. In fact, he said that I "had nothing to gain by telling clients." Hmmm.... we'll see what happens now. This particular client will keep the information to himself and is outside the country for more than half the year, so I am not concerned that he will be telling anyone beyond his wife and children.
I found out tonight that the google search engine picked up anything I had written about in my blog. Apparently, the executive director of St Vincent de Paul learned about my illness two weeks ago! (He googled St Vincent de Paul and saw my blog....the rest, as they say, is history.) Who know how many other searches have turned up my blog. I do know my profile was seen 178 times...two days prior to that it had only been viewed 150 times. (I finally figured out how to eliminate my blog profile from being searchable as well.) So much for secrets.
Yoko and Jessie picked Mom up from the airport. Her flight was uneventful, but it was a long day for her. I came home from work at 4:30 so I could spend some time with Mom before running off to a Rotary Board meeting tonight at 6 PM. I got back from Rotary at 8:30 this evening and we had dinner -- fried fish, garlic rice and beans. After dinner we sat around the kitchen table chatting until 11 PM. Our talk covered so many things I could not possibly summarize them all in the time I have tonight. But I do want to report that we decided the menu for the remainder of the week. Yoko and the girls are going to be busy cooking. I am looking forward to enjoying every bite and the swallow that follows!
Monday, December 17, 2007
Behold! I Bring You Tidings of Great Joy...
On Thursday, December 20th I am seeing my oncologist, Scott Lunin. Prior to our meeting Scott asked that I have another chest x-ray, so that he can get some sense about how I have responded to treatment. I spent two hours this morning waiting to get x-rayed at Harbor Imaging. When the x-rays were finally completed, I asked the technician if I could have a sneak peek and she complied... I don't know yet what Scott will say, but I thought that today's x-ray looked very encouraging in terms of showing shrinkage. The tumor did not look as big to me. We will have a more definitive answer when I see Scott on Thursday and ultimately when I get my next cat-scan in January. I feel pretty good but I continue to have trouble eating. I should clarify and say that it does not stop me from eating....but it does slow me down a lot. Things that are acidic are more painful and difficult to eat. For example, grapefruit slices or orange slices I find hard to eat. Milk or soft cereal in milk hardly bothers me at all. I don't care how much it hurts, there are some things I will eat if you put it in front of me. One of these is macaroni and meatballs. The other is Indian food. (Over the weekend we ate at India Palace in Ft Myers and I agonized through a dinner of raita, lamb korma and nan. ) If I die and come back, I hope I come back either as an Italian or Indian. I certainly understand why Christopher Columbus risked his neck over Indian food.
I finally finished my annual Christmas letter and will be sending it out to all of you tomorrow. Hopefully you will have it by Christmas! If not, I will publish it on this blog on Christmas day.
My cousin Mike Donovan and his wife Elke sent us a card and letter updating us on their hectic lives. It is hard to keep up with Mike. His Army career keeps him moving from once place to another. They just moved back from Germany and are now living in Colorado Springs. One of these days we will have to go out to visit them (and get in some skiing...hint hint!. )
Speaking of cold weather....Jessie made it home from college on Friday.and brought the Talahassee winter weather with her. Mom is arriving here tomorrow expecting warm Florida sunshine. I had to call her tonight to warn her to pack some heavy underwear. It has been unusually cold (overnight low of 41). It should warm up during the week and get back to sunshine and temperature in the low 80's by week's end.
Thankfully the week before Christmas is a rather slow week; not a whole lot of appointments are on the schedule. I have two tomorrow and a Rotary Board meeting tomorrow night. (Yoko and Jessie are picking Mom up at the airport at 1 PM.) Wednesday I have Rotary in the morning, a St Vincent de Paul Board meeting at 5 PM and a Christmas party in the evening to attend. June arrives from Hawaii on Friday morning; Paula gets in on Saturday.
I am looking forward to spending some quality time with my family this Christmas and enjoying this special time of year as never before. I hope you'll do the same.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
The Bachelor -- The Cancer Edition?
I thought I would provide you with a quick update about all that is going on. I have been so busy, I have not had the time to make my daily contributions to this blog.
As you know by now, Wednesday morning the proverbial cat was out of the bag and I was receiving phone calls from friends who had found out how sick I am. Of course, they all promised to keep it under wraps, but it is just a matter of time before my cancer diagnosis becomes a open secret, if it is not already.
Wednesday evening I made this blog site a by invitation only. I have provided an invitation to family members and a few friends that may have an interest in reading it. If I gave forgotten someone and they want to be invited to read it, there is a mechanism on the login page for requesting an invitation. Interestingly, I received a request to be invited from a political science professor in The Netherlands, who apparently has been reading the blog all along. (Why on earth anyone outside of family and friends would have an interest is beyond me, but it was nice to know there are some "fans" who are hooked! (I guess this blog is a little like a real life soap.)
Someone else found my profile on the web. I got an e-mail at work from some guy who claims to be a producer for the TV show "The Bachelor," He said he found my profile on the web and wanted to know if I would be interested in applying to becoming the next Bachelor. To quote: " I came across your online profile and thought you might be a good fit. I'm looking for a great guy who is successful, good-looking, has an out-going personality, is ready to settle down, is around 6 ft tall and,usually, is between 27 to 36 years of age. We are interested in all races, religions, etc."
I don't think he read my profile too closely...or he is doing a show called "The Bachelor -- Cancer Edition." In this show, they introduce men with terminal cancer to good looking Filipinos and Russian girls hoping to find a temporary husbands in the US. I still would not qualify...damn.
Wednesday at noon we had the ribbon cutting ceremony for the St Vincent de Paul Free Clinic. There were about 200 people at the dedication, including the local newspapers and TV press, etc. It was a very big deal locally and got a lot of play in the media. The Charlotte Sun has two inch headlines on the front page reporting that the clinic was open. This was unfortunate because the dedication and ribbon cutting was done PRIOR to the clinic being ready to take its first patients (which will be in January). Apparently, there was a long line of people cued at the clinic on Thursday morning! Anyway, the good news is that we will be ready to start taking patients in January.
At the dedication we were also able to report that Virginia Andes, a long time resident of Charlotte County, was providing our organization with a $1 million gift to be used to build an 8,000 square foot permanent facility. Merry Christmas! What a great gift! Anyway, that was the big new on Wednesday. As I am treasurer of this organization, people naturally think I had something to do with all this. In reality, the credit has to go to our executive director and others for making it all happen. It has been nice to be along for the ride. My big contribution was introducing my friend Brian Brunderman to St Vincent De Paul earlier this year. Brian has volunteered his time to do all the permitting and construct the foundation and modular units for us. (Brian is a friend of mine from Rotary who was there the day after Hurricane Charley helping me to rebuild.)
I am still having trouble eating. I have not felt all that well for the past few days. Aside from the trouble I have eating, I have developed a cough which I understand may be caused by the radiation irritating my lungs. I feel some heaviness in my chest (like when you have a heavy cold) and worry that I may have caught a cold or that I am developing plurea effusion, which I understand is common after radiation. I still feel a bit run down and the heaviness in my chest makes me think that there is yet something else going on. I've learned my lesson and will be contacting my doctor on Monday if this does not improve. Actually, I am having a chest x-ray on Monday, so if there is a problem, this should help discover what it is.
There was nothing exciting to report to you about what went on Thursday. I did meet with three different clients that day, none of whom had seen me in months. All three commented on how I looked like I had lost weight. They asked me if I was OK and, of course I said I was fine. I got a call on Thursday from Jim Morello, who, of course, found out about my disease from Rotary friends. Jim just recently became a client. He called to say how he considered me (and my daughters) to like his own family and how he was there to help if we need anything. It was a nice call to receive. I have gotten a few e-mails from friends as well offering prayers and words of encouragement. I have been busy trying to reply to each.
On Thursday night Yoko and I went to the store to try and get some Christmas shopping done. Suffice it to say, I was not feeling great. We spent a long time looking at different items and finally made the decision to buy. That is when I found out that the price indicated on the display was only about 80% of the real price. (i.e. We had to buy some essential "accessories" that amounted to adding another 20% to the total price.) I felt like I was being sucked in and that the indicated price was deceptive. The more I thought about it, the more angry I became. At the checkout, I called the store manager to complain. I told him selling this particular item without the "accessories" was tantamount to selling a car without the engine or wheels. What upsets me is I know this is a purposeful deception aimed at getting people to part with more money than they might otherwise. But I think it is a lousy business practice.
After Christmas I'll have more to say about this. Dishonesty in business bothers me....and there is a LOT of it. The Rotary four way test states:....is it the truth? Is it fair to all concerned? Will it build goodwill and better friendships. Will it be beneficial to all? I try to apply the four-way test in my dealings, which is why having lie to people about my condition bothers me so much. It bothers me that SO many people in business are dishonest or unethical. My goal has always been to put the interest of my clients FIRST and be known as an honest and ethical advior.
Jessie came home from school yesterday (Friday). She will now be home for a couple of weeks. It sounds like she did well on her final exams and expects to keep her GPA above where it needs to be in order to keep her Bright Futures scholarship. (75% of her tuition is paid by the State as long as she maintains a 3.0 GPA). Nice, eh?
Today we have to finish our Christmas shopping. Yoko, Jessie and I are all going down to Ft Myers to see what we can find. Let's hope the merchants there are honest. In my condition, there is no telling what I might do if I loose it!
As you know by now, Wednesday morning the proverbial cat was out of the bag and I was receiving phone calls from friends who had found out how sick I am. Of course, they all promised to keep it under wraps, but it is just a matter of time before my cancer diagnosis becomes a open secret, if it is not already.
Wednesday evening I made this blog site a by invitation only. I have provided an invitation to family members and a few friends that may have an interest in reading it. If I gave forgotten someone and they want to be invited to read it, there is a mechanism on the login page for requesting an invitation. Interestingly, I received a request to be invited from a political science professor in The Netherlands, who apparently has been reading the blog all along. (Why on earth anyone outside of family and friends would have an interest is beyond me, but it was nice to know there are some "fans" who are hooked! (I guess this blog is a little like a real life soap.)
Someone else found my profile on the web. I got an e-mail at work from some guy who claims to be a producer for the TV show "The Bachelor," He said he found my profile on the web and wanted to know if I would be interested in applying to becoming the next Bachelor. To quote: " I came across your online profile and thought you might be a good fit. I'm looking for a great guy who is successful, good-looking, has an out-going personality, is ready to settle down, is around 6 ft tall and,usually, is between 27 to 36 years of age. We are interested in all races, religions, etc."
I don't think he read my profile too closely...or he is doing a show called "The Bachelor -- Cancer Edition." In this show, they introduce men with terminal cancer to good looking Filipinos and Russian girls hoping to find a temporary husbands in the US. I still would not qualify...damn.
Wednesday at noon we had the ribbon cutting ceremony for the St Vincent de Paul Free Clinic. There were about 200 people at the dedication, including the local newspapers and TV press, etc. It was a very big deal locally and got a lot of play in the media. The Charlotte Sun has two inch headlines on the front page reporting that the clinic was open. This was unfortunate because the dedication and ribbon cutting was done PRIOR to the clinic being ready to take its first patients (which will be in January). Apparently, there was a long line of people cued at the clinic on Thursday morning! Anyway, the good news is that we will be ready to start taking patients in January.
At the dedication we were also able to report that Virginia Andes, a long time resident of Charlotte County, was providing our organization with a $1 million gift to be used to build an 8,000 square foot permanent facility. Merry Christmas! What a great gift! Anyway, that was the big new on Wednesday. As I am treasurer of this organization, people naturally think I had something to do with all this. In reality, the credit has to go to our executive director and others for making it all happen. It has been nice to be along for the ride. My big contribution was introducing my friend Brian Brunderman to St Vincent De Paul earlier this year. Brian has volunteered his time to do all the permitting and construct the foundation and modular units for us. (Brian is a friend of mine from Rotary who was there the day after Hurricane Charley helping me to rebuild.)
I am still having trouble eating. I have not felt all that well for the past few days. Aside from the trouble I have eating, I have developed a cough which I understand may be caused by the radiation irritating my lungs. I feel some heaviness in my chest (like when you have a heavy cold) and worry that I may have caught a cold or that I am developing plurea effusion, which I understand is common after radiation. I still feel a bit run down and the heaviness in my chest makes me think that there is yet something else going on. I've learned my lesson and will be contacting my doctor on Monday if this does not improve. Actually, I am having a chest x-ray on Monday, so if there is a problem, this should help discover what it is.
There was nothing exciting to report to you about what went on Thursday. I did meet with three different clients that day, none of whom had seen me in months. All three commented on how I looked like I had lost weight. They asked me if I was OK and, of course I said I was fine. I got a call on Thursday from Jim Morello, who, of course, found out about my disease from Rotary friends. Jim just recently became a client. He called to say how he considered me (and my daughters) to like his own family and how he was there to help if we need anything. It was a nice call to receive. I have gotten a few e-mails from friends as well offering prayers and words of encouragement. I have been busy trying to reply to each.
On Thursday night Yoko and I went to the store to try and get some Christmas shopping done. Suffice it to say, I was not feeling great. We spent a long time looking at different items and finally made the decision to buy. That is when I found out that the price indicated on the display was only about 80% of the real price. (i.e. We had to buy some essential "accessories" that amounted to adding another 20% to the total price.) I felt like I was being sucked in and that the indicated price was deceptive. The more I thought about it, the more angry I became. At the checkout, I called the store manager to complain. I told him selling this particular item without the "accessories" was tantamount to selling a car without the engine or wheels. What upsets me is I know this is a purposeful deception aimed at getting people to part with more money than they might otherwise. But I think it is a lousy business practice.
After Christmas I'll have more to say about this. Dishonesty in business bothers me....and there is a LOT of it. The Rotary four way test states:....is it the truth? Is it fair to all concerned? Will it build goodwill and better friendships. Will it be beneficial to all? I try to apply the four-way test in my dealings, which is why having lie to people about my condition bothers me so much. It bothers me that SO many people in business are dishonest or unethical. My goal has always been to put the interest of my clients FIRST and be known as an honest and ethical advior.
Jessie came home from school yesterday (Friday). She will now be home for a couple of weeks. It sounds like she did well on her final exams and expects to keep her GPA above where it needs to be in order to keep her Bright Futures scholarship. (75% of her tuition is paid by the State as long as she maintains a 3.0 GPA). Nice, eh?
Today we have to finish our Christmas shopping. Yoko, Jessie and I are all going down to Ft Myers to see what we can find. Let's hope the merchants there are honest. In my condition, there is no telling what I might do if I loose it!
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
The Genie is Out of the Bottle...
I kept this blog site, knowing that eventually friends, clients, or prospects might eventually read it. I never thought it would happen so quickly. Apparently someone in my Rotary club Googled my name, and the next thing you know, they were reading this blog. Of course, word about my illness spread among my friends like wild fire. The genie is out of the bottle and you can't put her back in.I spoke with Chris Maher this morning (he was the one to let me know that someone had found the website). Chris was upset that I did not share the news with him. I told Chris that I was trying to keep this thing private for the time being and was not intending to make a general announcement. On the other hand, I wanted my family (esspecially my girls) to be able to check in on me every day. Anyway, I have made the blog non-searchable and by invitation only. Hopefully, you won't have too much trouble getting in to see what is happening. I don't have the e-mail addresses for Uncle Bob and his family and that is the only way they can be invited to the site. Same goes for my other aunts, uncle and cousins. I need their e-mail addresses in order to allow them into the site. If you are speaking with them, find out their e-mail address and I will send an invitation.
Yoko is upset that people have found out about this. She does not mind friends knowing, but she does not like the idea of strangers knowing our business. Yoko is sensitive about how the public views our family; she is a very private person and is uncomfortable with having to deal with the people who will naturally ask questions. She does not say so but I think she is also concerned about how this "news" will affect my business and ability to earn. Yoko expects me to live a long time and she does not want to see any more obstacles put in my way. We have had our share already.
Anyway, it was a bit of a shock to wake up this morning and find out all your friends are clued in to what has been going on for the past few months. I am not sure what the next step should be. Suggestions are welcomed.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Radiation Ends
Today was my last day of radiation. The nurses wanted to know what I was doing to celebrate and I replied that I would be going to work, just like I do every day, and then going home to spend time with my lovely wife. I will celebrate when I feel like myself again.
I have had a lot of good feedback from the Lung Cancer Alliance Survivor Community. I put a description of my diagnosis on the website and asked other patients with a similar diagnosis and treatment to tell me what their experience after chemo radiation has been. I got four responses...all of which were very positive. Essentially the answer came back...more chemo. The only question really is what drugs to use. It was suggested that I be tested for the EFGR mutation and that, if the mutation existed, I might be a good candidate for tyrosine kinase inhibitors such as erlotinib/tarceva. I asked Dr. Lunin if the EFGR test has been done....and, of course, he had already ordered the test and it had come back negative for the EFGR mutation. I am going to pursue this a bit more with Scott.
At the end of my radiation today I met with Dave Rice, my radiation oncologist. I asked him how many lung cancer patients he has treated. He estimated that he has treated 10 per month for the past 100 months, since he has been in practice. That would be 1000 patients or so. I asked Dave, in his experience, what amount of shrinkage he would expect to get from the treatment I had just finished. His reply was that there are really two issues -- the absolute size of the tumor, and the metastatic activity of the tumor. In terms of size, he said the issue is the volume size of the tumor. Tumor might shrink in size by say 50%....but the VOLUME of the tumor could be significantly more than that....say 75% or even 80%. Even with such shrinkage, the real issue is how active the remaining cells are. This is measured by the SUV value, or how much sugar the remaining active cells absorb or take up. The higher the SUV value, the more active the cells, the faster they replicate etc.... At least that is my layman's understanding of it.
Dave seem to feel that I had a good chance of being "cured" with my current treatment and he seemed optimistic that my response to the treatment just completed would be good because it was uninterrupted for seven weeks, etc. Anyway, Dave seemed very positive that the outcome would be favorable. He expects the next step will be consolidation chemo. He did not think that the next "phase" would necessarily be worst that this first round of treatment. I hope he is right. In Dave's opinion, I will probably end up NED (no evidence of disease) after consolidation treatment. The question after that will be...does cancer show up somewhere else.... Time will tell.
I have had a lot of good feedback from the Lung Cancer Alliance Survivor Community. I put a description of my diagnosis on the website and asked other patients with a similar diagnosis and treatment to tell me what their experience after chemo radiation has been. I got four responses...all of which were very positive. Essentially the answer came back...more chemo. The only question really is what drugs to use. It was suggested that I be tested for the EFGR mutation and that, if the mutation existed, I might be a good candidate for tyrosine kinase inhibitors such as erlotinib/tarceva. I asked Dr. Lunin if the EFGR test has been done....and, of course, he had already ordered the test and it had come back negative for the EFGR mutation. I am going to pursue this a bit more with Scott.
At the end of my radiation today I met with Dave Rice, my radiation oncologist. I asked him how many lung cancer patients he has treated. He estimated that he has treated 10 per month for the past 100 months, since he has been in practice. That would be 1000 patients or so. I asked Dave, in his experience, what amount of shrinkage he would expect to get from the treatment I had just finished. His reply was that there are really two issues -- the absolute size of the tumor, and the metastatic activity of the tumor. In terms of size, he said the issue is the volume size of the tumor. Tumor might shrink in size by say 50%....but the VOLUME of the tumor could be significantly more than that....say 75% or even 80%. Even with such shrinkage, the real issue is how active the remaining cells are. This is measured by the SUV value, or how much sugar the remaining active cells absorb or take up. The higher the SUV value, the more active the cells, the faster they replicate etc.... At least that is my layman's understanding of it.
Dave seem to feel that I had a good chance of being "cured" with my current treatment and he seemed optimistic that my response to the treatment just completed would be good because it was uninterrupted for seven weeks, etc. Anyway, Dave seemed very positive that the outcome would be favorable. He expects the next step will be consolidation chemo. He did not think that the next "phase" would necessarily be worst that this first round of treatment. I hope he is right. In Dave's opinion, I will probably end up NED (no evidence of disease) after consolidation treatment. The question after that will be...does cancer show up somewhere else.... Time will tell.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
The On Rush of the Christmas Season
This is the time of year that we normally begin to feel very rushed. There is decorating to do, shopping to get done, Christmas cards to write, etc., etc., on top of all the other normal things we do on a daily basis. For some reason, there is a certain calm this Christmas season. I am not feeling the pressure yet...perhaps after all these years we know what we are doing and can manage getting ready for Christmas without a lot of fuss. Anyway, we are looking forward to having everyone here!
Our first official Christmas event of the season was The Morgan Stanley Christmas party last night. It was very nicely done, as expected. Yoko wanted to go to this year's party, as she likes most of the people at Morgan Stanley. She was not so enamored with some of the people at Smith Barney in Ft Myers and would not attend last year's party. I guess she has an instinct.
Anyway, the Morgan Stanley party was held at at Miromar Lake Golf and Beach Club in Ft Myers. They had an open bar, buffet dinner and a band. About 100 or so people were in attendance. Yoko and I both wore all black. Yoko wore a red sweater over her black knit suit. I had on my favorite Christmas tie with a golfing Santa. We both drank cranberry juice while chatting with people, most of whom we had not met before. One lady that was there was a broker who had been working for Morgan Stanley in Syracuse, NY. I mentioned to her that I had lived in Dewitt as a kid. Strangely enough that is where SHE was from. I told her how I remembered the Storm of 1966...and going out my second story bedroom onto the snowdrift. She confirmed that people STILL talk about that storm to this day.
We spent time chatting with Bruce Vermette and his wife. Bruce works in Punta Gorda, having moved here from Mass. Their son is living and working in Hong Kong as the first trombonist in the Hong Kong Symphony. (I thought that was interesting.) Apparently he and his wife are leading magical lives as a musicians, meeting and working with all manor of celebrity. The mom was very obviously into music herself and was animated when talking about the Broadway shows they have seen or the music she likes to sing... including Handel's Messiah, one of my favorites. Their other son just got married to an Indian (Hindu) this past summer and is living in Redwood City, CA. He works for Oracle and she is a pediatric nurse. Bruce and his wife attended the wedding in September with 600 other people . These kinds of large weddings are "normal" in India. (Let me thank my lucky stars now that I am not Indian!) I don't even want to think about what hosting a wedding for 600 might cost...
We got home from the Christmas party at about 11:30 and went straight to bed. This morning I was up at 6:20 to get ready for golf and was out the door by 6:50AM , in time to wash the car before heading to the golf course. I should have stayed in bed. I played rotten, again. I think the problem is that I am simply in a weakened state. I don't hit the ball as far...so I am not making the second shots to the green. I am ending up short and having to chip....and that is the worst part of my game. So, on in three, two put...five for a bogey...if I am lucky. Chris Maher took eight bucks from me, which is the bitterest of pills to swallow. I got so frustrated at one point I threw my sand wedge (intending to get it near the cart)...but I held on a bit too long....and I ended up yanking it into the middle of a lake instead! I was debating about what club in my bag to get rid of so I could buy a 7 wood....I guess that answers that question!
I came home rather than eat lunch out as I normally do. Yoko and I are going Christmas shopping today and then trying to get Christmas cards out the door. I am still working on some sort of Christmas letter....I have not settled yet on this year's theme.
I should run as I want to be home in time to watch New England loose to Pittsburgh. Go Steelers!
I am sure we are all agreed that Gator quarterback Tim Tebow deserves the Heisman Trophy?
Our first official Christmas event of the season was The Morgan Stanley Christmas party last night. It was very nicely done, as expected. Yoko wanted to go to this year's party, as she likes most of the people at Morgan Stanley. She was not so enamored with some of the people at Smith Barney in Ft Myers and would not attend last year's party. I guess she has an instinct.
Anyway, the Morgan Stanley party was held at at Miromar Lake Golf and Beach Club in Ft Myers. They had an open bar, buffet dinner and a band. About 100 or so people were in attendance. Yoko and I both wore all black. Yoko wore a red sweater over her black knit suit. I had on my favorite Christmas tie with a golfing Santa. We both drank cranberry juice while chatting with people, most of whom we had not met before. One lady that was there was a broker who had been working for Morgan Stanley in Syracuse, NY. I mentioned to her that I had lived in Dewitt as a kid. Strangely enough that is where SHE was from. I told her how I remembered the Storm of 1966...and going out my second story bedroom onto the snowdrift. She confirmed that people STILL talk about that storm to this day.
We spent time chatting with Bruce Vermette and his wife. Bruce works in Punta Gorda, having moved here from Mass. Their son is living and working in Hong Kong as the first trombonist in the Hong Kong Symphony. (I thought that was interesting.) Apparently he and his wife are leading magical lives as a musicians, meeting and working with all manor of celebrity. The mom was very obviously into music herself and was animated when talking about the Broadway shows they have seen or the music she likes to sing... including Handel's Messiah, one of my favorites. Their other son just got married to an Indian (Hindu) this past summer and is living in Redwood City, CA. He works for Oracle and she is a pediatric nurse. Bruce and his wife attended the wedding in September with 600 other people . These kinds of large weddings are "normal" in India. (Let me thank my lucky stars now that I am not Indian!) I don't even want to think about what hosting a wedding for 600 might cost...
We got home from the Christmas party at about 11:30 and went straight to bed. This morning I was up at 6:20 to get ready for golf and was out the door by 6:50AM , in time to wash the car before heading to the golf course. I should have stayed in bed. I played rotten, again. I think the problem is that I am simply in a weakened state. I don't hit the ball as far...so I am not making the second shots to the green. I am ending up short and having to chip....and that is the worst part of my game. So, on in three, two put...five for a bogey...if I am lucky. Chris Maher took eight bucks from me, which is the bitterest of pills to swallow. I got so frustrated at one point I threw my sand wedge (intending to get it near the cart)...but I held on a bit too long....and I ended up yanking it into the middle of a lake instead! I was debating about what club in my bag to get rid of so I could buy a 7 wood....I guess that answers that question!
I came home rather than eat lunch out as I normally do. Yoko and I are going Christmas shopping today and then trying to get Christmas cards out the door. I am still working on some sort of Christmas letter....I have not settled yet on this year's theme.
I should run as I want to be home in time to watch New England loose to Pittsburgh. Go Steelers!
I am sure we are all agreed that Gator quarterback Tim Tebow deserves the Heisman Trophy?
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Golf Tournament for The Love of Kids
I played in a Charity Tournament for The Love of Kids this morning with Chris Maher, Sabin Taylor and Joe Crachiola. I played very badly, but as a team we did OK...10 under par 62. We missed a lot of easy puts or we might have been 13 under or more. Anyway, 10 under was good enough for second place. I won 64 dollars in credits to the pro shop, which is $11 less than what it cost me to play...I spent $20 on the 50/50...so the whole thing was $95 out of pocket and $64 back in prize money. Net I am down $31, so not bad. First place was an 11 under 61 and paid $120 in credits. Damn...one more put and I'd have been in the money! I bought myself a golf shirt, glove, and 20 balls with my credits, and I gave these items to Yoko to give to give back to me on Christmas. (For anyone thinking about what to get me for Christmas, I have all the golf stuff I need.)
I got my hair cut very short this week to cover up the fact that I have begun to loose hair (more quickly than usual). On this blog I wanted to memorialize the fact that Sabin Taylor kept making comments about how skinny I am and how I looked like I was on chemo -- ha ha ha. (Sabin is a big guy; he was a football player at UCONN and could have been a pro baseball player.) All I could say was, "Watch it Sabin...you'd feel terrible if it turned out I actually had cancer!" Of course, everyone was chuckling....it was all I could do not to tear off my shirt and show them my tattoos and say, "No assholes... I'm on chemo radiation...and even though it hurts to swing and my red blood cell count is below normal, in my weakened state I still play better than any of you!" I resisted the temptation of course...but I would like to tell my friends.
After golf came the big challenge...eating lunch. I piled on the easy to eat bake beans, potatoes salad and cole slaw and got one hamburger. It still took me an hour to eat. (To give you an idea of how slow this is, Sabin had the same side dishes PLUS two hamburgers and a hot dog...and went back for seconds. Chris finished his first plate of food before I even sat down! They both finished two plates before I had eaten even half of mine.) The hardest part is not grimacing as you swallow. At least at home I can moan as I eat! Anyway, I was able to finish what I had taken before the event was over.
Tonight we have the Morgan Stanley Christmas party in Ft Myers. It is a sit down dinner. I guess we will go...but I sure hope they serve macaroni and cheese! I better go take a nap before we have to leave! I'll blog to you later,
By the way, the meatball blog has received the most comments in the last couple of days....as expected.
I got my hair cut very short this week to cover up the fact that I have begun to loose hair (more quickly than usual). On this blog I wanted to memorialize the fact that Sabin Taylor kept making comments about how skinny I am and how I looked like I was on chemo -- ha ha ha. (Sabin is a big guy; he was a football player at UCONN and could have been a pro baseball player.) All I could say was, "Watch it Sabin...you'd feel terrible if it turned out I actually had cancer!" Of course, everyone was chuckling....it was all I could do not to tear off my shirt and show them my tattoos and say, "No assholes... I'm on chemo radiation...and even though it hurts to swing and my red blood cell count is below normal, in my weakened state I still play better than any of you!" I resisted the temptation of course...but I would like to tell my friends.
After golf came the big challenge...eating lunch. I piled on the easy to eat bake beans, potatoes salad and cole slaw and got one hamburger. It still took me an hour to eat. (To give you an idea of how slow this is, Sabin had the same side dishes PLUS two hamburgers and a hot dog...and went back for seconds. Chris finished his first plate of food before I even sat down! They both finished two plates before I had eaten even half of mine.) The hardest part is not grimacing as you swallow. At least at home I can moan as I eat! Anyway, I was able to finish what I had taken before the event was over.
Tonight we have the Morgan Stanley Christmas party in Ft Myers. It is a sit down dinner. I guess we will go...but I sure hope they serve macaroni and cheese! I better go take a nap before we have to leave! I'll blog to you later,
By the way, the meatball blog has received the most comments in the last couple of days....as expected.
Friday, December 7, 2007
The Friday Chemo Report
This was typical chemo Friday, I went to radiation at 8:50 as usual and then on to the Florida Cancer Center at 9:20. I had my blood test with the following results:
Item Count (Previous) Normal Range (Bold is out of normal range)
WBC 3.6 (4.1) Low 4.2 - 10.0
ANC 2.8 (3.4)1.4 - 6.5
Gran% 78.8 (82.7 ) high 39 - 78
HCT 3.7 (36.3) Low 41 - 51
Hgb 11.9 (12.1) Low 14 -18
Lymph # 0.5 (0.5) Low 1.2 - 3.4
Lymph% 14.6 (12.6) Low 15 - 40
MCH 29.1 (28.2) 27 - 34
MCV 84.8 (84.7) 80 - 94
MCHC 34.3 (33.3) 32 - 36
Mono# 0.2 (0.2) 0.0 - 0.6
Mono% 6.6 (4.7) 0.0- 10
Plat 259 (241) (407) 140- 440
RBC 4.09 (4.29) Low 4.5 - 6.4
RDW 16.9 (17.2) High 11.5 - 15.0
It took a little longer than usual to finish today's treatment. I did not get home from chemo until 3:40 PM...That makes for a long day of doing nothing. I was going to read and work on my laptop, but after the first bag of benedryl I fell asleep. I drifted in and out of sleep the whole time, while listening to music on my i-pod. Jessie made me up a 250 song play list of the music she listens to. It is really pretty good. I could never embrace rap at all, but it looks like the young people today are getting back to music with melody and harmony. I'm sure Jessie would be surprised to learn that I like a lot of the music she listens to.
Yoko had the TV on yesterday morning and there was a special on Bob Dylan airing. God, he is/was an awful singer. I don't know how or why he became so popular. I mentioned this to Yoko and she agreed; but then she reminded me that we bought that Miro! Talent and beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I guess.
The plan for tomorrow is golf in a charity golf tournament (8:30 shotgun) at Riverwood. I am playing with Chris Maher, Sabin Taylor, and Joe Craciuola. We should be a competitive team. I will be home by 2PM....in time to take a nap before we head down to the Morgan Stanley Christmas Party at Miromar Lakes. Sunday morning I am playing golf in my league; we plan to do some Christmas shopping in the afternoon.
I have been thinking hard about what to get everyone. I am having a hard time coming up with ideas. This is the weekend to get it done. Yoko is warning me not to wait till the last minute. Drop me a line if you have any suggestions!
You think it is an omen that my last chemo takes place onDecember 7th-- Pearl Harbor Day? Maybe its a good omen....the fight is just starting....take that you rat bastard cancer cells!
Item Count (Previous) Normal Range (Bold is out of normal range)
WBC 3.6 (4.1) Low 4.2 - 10.0
ANC 2.8 (3.4)1.4 - 6.5
Gran% 78.8 (82.7 ) high 39 - 78
HCT 3.7 (36.3) Low 41 - 51
Hgb 11.9 (12.1) Low 14 -18
Lymph # 0.5 (0.5) Low 1.2 - 3.4
Lymph% 14.6 (12.6) Low 15 - 40
MCH 29.1 (28.2) 27 - 34
MCV 84.8 (84.7) 80 - 94
MCHC 34.3 (33.3) 32 - 36
Mono# 0.2 (0.2) 0.0 - 0.6
Mono% 6.6 (4.7) 0.0- 10
Plat 259 (241) (407) 140- 440
RBC 4.09 (4.29) Low 4.5 - 6.4
RDW 16.9 (17.2) High 11.5 - 15.0
It took a little longer than usual to finish today's treatment. I did not get home from chemo until 3:40 PM...That makes for a long day of doing nothing. I was going to read and work on my laptop, but after the first bag of benedryl I fell asleep. I drifted in and out of sleep the whole time, while listening to music on my i-pod. Jessie made me up a 250 song play list of the music she listens to. It is really pretty good. I could never embrace rap at all, but it looks like the young people today are getting back to music with melody and harmony. I'm sure Jessie would be surprised to learn that I like a lot of the music she listens to.
Yoko had the TV on yesterday morning and there was a special on Bob Dylan airing. God, he is/was an awful singer. I don't know how or why he became so popular. I mentioned this to Yoko and she agreed; but then she reminded me that we bought that Miro! Talent and beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I guess.
The plan for tomorrow is golf in a charity golf tournament (8:30 shotgun) at Riverwood. I am playing with Chris Maher, Sabin Taylor, and Joe Craciuola. We should be a competitive team. I will be home by 2PM....in time to take a nap before we head down to the Morgan Stanley Christmas Party at Miromar Lakes. Sunday morning I am playing golf in my league; we plan to do some Christmas shopping in the afternoon.
I have been thinking hard about what to get everyone. I am having a hard time coming up with ideas. This is the weekend to get it done. Yoko is warning me not to wait till the last minute. Drop me a line if you have any suggestions!
You think it is an omen that my last chemo takes place onDecember 7th-- Pearl Harbor Day? Maybe its a good omen....the fight is just starting....take that you rat bastard cancer cells!
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Life's Little Pleasures
I don't know if you have noticed, but if you go back and look at previous blogs, there tends to me more comments when I talk about food. In my last blog Joanie reminded me that Grandma use to make stuffed peppers with anchovies. (I love anchovies. We'll have to do that next time!) Anyway, I thought the meatball picture would be stimulative. (Our family has macaroni and meatballs every Sunday. I LOVE the smell of meatballs being fried in olive oil on Sunday mornings.) Food is indeed one of life's pleasures.That's why I can't wait for my eating difficulties to end. It has become somewhat painful to swallow, so Yoko and I discussed the weekend menu tonight so she can go shopping for things I can swallow more easily. We decided on Mabodofu (a Chinese dish made with tofu) and fried rice; Indian curry; meatloaf; and pastina in tomato sauce. Suggestions for other easy to eat foods or dishes are welcome. The key ingredient is that the food can me eaten in small increments. It is taking me (a notoriously slow eater) twice as long as normal to finish a meal.
Aside from the eating and pain in my chest, I am feeling well. I have a sore in my mouth (which is a potential side effect from chemo). I am a bit tired and I don't feel 100% but I really can not complain. I am working every day, even if I don't accomplish very much.
Emotionally, I am a bit frustrated with people. So many of the elderly people I speak with on a daily basis are out in left field. I have to wonder what planet some of these people live on. Tonight I came home complaining about "stupid people" and Yoko reminded me that it could be worse -- I could be dealing idiots or morons, one or two levels down. It would be nice to just once have just a conversation with normal, reasonable people! I would love to give you a few examples here, but I need to have plausible deniability in case some of these people eventually read this website. No! Not YOU!
I have been giving a lot of thought as to who will be able to drive what car during Christmas. We will have six drivers in the house (each wanting to go in different directions) and we own only three cars. (I should emphasize that....I OWN...three cars.) I have also had to give a lot of thought to the sleeping arrangements. We will have six people staying in the house and we have three queen size bed.
So, what I am thinking is that we should assign who gets dibs on the cars based on who has slept where. So, for example, whoever volunteers to sleep with Grandma should have unfettered access to the Lexus....whoever gets a separate room and a bed get the Altima when and if it is available....that sort of thing. What do you say girls? (No one, of course, -- not even Grandma-- gets to drive my Acura. ) Come to think of it, five drivers will have to duke it out over the two cars.)
I am going to bed to dream of meatballs frying and the smell of tomato sauce cooking. God, I can't wait till Sunday!
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
One More Time -- Chemo is Back
Well, I thought I was done with chemo for now, but after seeing my radiology oncologist yesterday, he recommended that I have one more chemo session. The radiation is the main element of the treatment that is killing the tumor; the chemo sensitizes the tumor so that the radiation does a better job. Anyway, I have a scheduled chemo session for Friday morning...and then, hopefully, that will be it for the Christmas season. My last radiation session is next Tuesday...the same day the FED will decide whether to cut interest rates. Tuesday should be a good day!
The difficulty eating I currently am experiencing should abate after radiation ends. In the meantime, I have been reduced to eating things that are easily broken up and swollowed, like tuna salad, soups, rice dishes, etc. Last night Yoko made stuffed green bell peppers. They are bell peppers stuffed with rice and mixed with ground beef and tomato sauce. She tops them with melted cheese. Delicious! Of course, when she serves the food, I want to swallow the whole thing in one gulp, but I am forced to eat it slowly in tiny bites, which is very frustrating when you are hungry and the food in front of you smells and looks so great!
There is really not much news to report, but I know my daughter Paula likes to a get a daily blog, whether I have anything to say or not. She has been very faithful about calling home (nearly every day) and talking to her Mom (what about I have no idea, but they always seem to have something to talk about)
Not a day goes by that I don't hear something or read something that makes me think...oh, that would be a good topic for this blog. Then when it comes time to write, I can't remember what it was that I saw or read that I thought would be such a good topic.
I did see an advertisement in the newspaper the other day that was quoting Abraham Lincoln as saying, "It is not the number of years in a life that counts...it is the life in the years" or something along those lines. Having reflected a lot lately about my life, I really can not complain. Of course, I would like to do more, but I am also sure if I was 80 years old I would be saying the same thing. Anyway, relative to vastness of infinite time, what is the difference between 50 and 80 years...not much. The real waste is when young people don't ever get the opportunity to have a life, like 24 year old Sean Taylor, who was gunned down in his home last weekend. Geez.
I watched a movie last night called Alpha Dog, with Bruce Willis. It is the apparently true story about a screwed up teenage drug dealer kidnaping and then killing the innocent younger brother of an addict who owes him money. The kid that was murdered was 15 years old. The amount of money that was owed was $1200. The story takes place in 2003. As I watched all I could think of was how selfish people are. Everyone is looking out for number one...and the innocent die as a result. What a waste.
Then in today's newspaper there was a story about an environmentalist who decided to have an abortion and then elected to be steralized so that her "carbon impact" would be reduced. My question is, who is she saving the world for? If everyone followed this screwed-up lady's philospophy, there would be no one around to enjoy the clean lakes and clear blue sky. Like the newspaper editorial said, I never read a good book by a polar bear.
Tonight Yoko and I are attending our last evening Rotary Dinner of the year. It should be a good time. I have invited a number of people to attend, who I would like to recruit into Rotary. We'll see if any of them show. Our club has arranged to park a school bus in from of the Englewood Wal-mart; the campaign is to "Stuff a Bus" for toys for kids this Christmas. Every club member will be bringing gifts (one for a boy and one for a girl) to donate to a local charity "For the Love of Kids." I was also glad to see that my Rotary District provided $55,000 to outfit the Children's Hospital in Ft Myers with a playroom for kids with cancer. To me, THAT is what the Christmas season is all about. God Bless Rotarians!
The difficulty eating I currently am experiencing should abate after radiation ends. In the meantime, I have been reduced to eating things that are easily broken up and swollowed, like tuna salad, soups, rice dishes, etc. Last night Yoko made stuffed green bell peppers. They are bell peppers stuffed with rice and mixed with ground beef and tomato sauce. She tops them with melted cheese. Delicious! Of course, when she serves the food, I want to swallow the whole thing in one gulp, but I am forced to eat it slowly in tiny bites, which is very frustrating when you are hungry and the food in front of you smells and looks so great!
There is really not much news to report, but I know my daughter Paula likes to a get a daily blog, whether I have anything to say or not. She has been very faithful about calling home (nearly every day) and talking to her Mom (what about I have no idea, but they always seem to have something to talk about)
Not a day goes by that I don't hear something or read something that makes me think...oh, that would be a good topic for this blog. Then when it comes time to write, I can't remember what it was that I saw or read that I thought would be such a good topic.
I did see an advertisement in the newspaper the other day that was quoting Abraham Lincoln as saying, "It is not the number of years in a life that counts...it is the life in the years" or something along those lines. Having reflected a lot lately about my life, I really can not complain. Of course, I would like to do more, but I am also sure if I was 80 years old I would be saying the same thing. Anyway, relative to vastness of infinite time, what is the difference between 50 and 80 years...not much. The real waste is when young people don't ever get the opportunity to have a life, like 24 year old Sean Taylor, who was gunned down in his home last weekend. Geez.
I watched a movie last night called Alpha Dog, with Bruce Willis. It is the apparently true story about a screwed up teenage drug dealer kidnaping and then killing the innocent younger brother of an addict who owes him money. The kid that was murdered was 15 years old. The amount of money that was owed was $1200. The story takes place in 2003. As I watched all I could think of was how selfish people are. Everyone is looking out for number one...and the innocent die as a result. What a waste.
Then in today's newspaper there was a story about an environmentalist who decided to have an abortion and then elected to be steralized so that her "carbon impact" would be reduced. My question is, who is she saving the world for? If everyone followed this screwed-up lady's philospophy, there would be no one around to enjoy the clean lakes and clear blue sky. Like the newspaper editorial said, I never read a good book by a polar bear.
Tonight Yoko and I are attending our last evening Rotary Dinner of the year. It should be a good time. I have invited a number of people to attend, who I would like to recruit into Rotary. We'll see if any of them show. Our club has arranged to park a school bus in from of the Englewood Wal-mart; the campaign is to "Stuff a Bus" for toys for kids this Christmas. Every club member will be bringing gifts (one for a boy and one for a girl) to donate to a local charity "For the Love of Kids." I was also glad to see that my Rotary District provided $55,000 to outfit the Children's Hospital in Ft Myers with a playroom for kids with cancer. To me, THAT is what the Christmas season is all about. God Bless Rotarians!
Monday, December 3, 2007
Bald is Beautiful
Believe it or not, I used to have more hair on my head than I do these days. The taxol is beginning to take its toll and I am loosing some hair...not enough for most people to notice however. This evening Ryan was brushing off the shoulders of my white shirt asking if I had gone to the barber during the day. Apparently, I had hair all over my shirt. When I got home, I looked in the mirror and for the first time began to notice that I was thinning out a bit more than usual. This is not too tramatic for me since I have been "thinning out" most of my life. ( I remember my father used to cut my hair and he would tease my by saying that I would be bald by the time I was twenty one. He wasn't off by much.) Anyway, I have not been to a barber in six weeks. Tomorrow I will go in the morning and get a short-cut so that the hair on my shirt will be less noticeable. If I lose my eyebrows, I may have to change to a pair of Groucho Marx glasses...As far as cancer treatments go, I am now coasting to the end of the year. I have five more radiation treatments and I will be done for the year.
I am focused now on finishing the business year out strong. I have a pretty good chance of having a strong month in December and January is already shaping up to be a reasonably good month. I would like to be able to meet Morgan Stanley's expectations of me when they hired me; I have done just OK so far, I would like to do better.
I don't have too much going on this week as far as outside activities, so I should be able to get a lot done. The big job will be getting my Christmas cards out the door -- both business and personal. I have to work on my annual Christmas letter...which I would like to make up-beat and entertaining. I also need to be thinking about what to get the Grandma and the girls for Christmas. Let me know if you have any good ideas.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
The Bowl Games
This has been quite a year for college football, with the top ranked teams changing from week to week. For once there are no Florida teams in the rankings and, of course, Penn State has been out of contention since the start of the season. Because we don't have a team in it, Yoko and I look for someone to cheer for each weekend. Yoko has become a big college football fan and loves to watch the games. We were sorry (for Michael Oldsey) to see West Virgina loose a heart breaker this week. I've never seen a coach more upset during the post-game show! They announced the BCS games tonight and West Virginia will play in the Fiesta Bowl. LSU will play Ohio State for the national championship on January 7th. I fell asleep before the Hawaii- Washington game ended last night. Hawaii ends the season 12-0 after coming back from behind to beat Washington. I wish I could have stayed awake to see the end of that game. We will be cheering for Hawaii when they play Georgia.On the professional football side, I am quite sure it will be New England in the Super Bowl...I am not sure who can beat them. Indianapolis perhaps. We'll see. Yoko does not get too excited about professional football, but she will yell and scream during the college games.
I voluntarily took the weekend off from golf. Just did not feel like playing. I have not done that in years, but the way I have been playing lately, a little time out is probably needed. I spent the day yesterday reading and writing. Last night Yoko and I went out to dinner (Jason's Deli) and then went to see the movie "American Gangster," with Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe. I liked the movie and thought it was interesting, but I am not sure it will win any academy awards. I liked "The Departed" with Jack Nickolson much better.
I was up early today, but then went back to bed. I am feeling a little run-down and my central chest is bothered by the radiation. It is uncomfortable but tolerable. I will be happy when radiation ends. (I only have six treatments to go.)When I finally got up, Yoko made google-ahs (sp?) -- an Italian fried dough treat -- for breakfast. Yum. We went shopping after that. I broke down and bought some jeans but mostly we did window shopping. We spent a lot of time looking at Christmas decorations, as Yoko wants to get the house looking good before Mom and the girls arrive. We are so excited that all the girls and Mom will be here at Christmas.
Luther Liggett (a college buddy) called tonight to get my home address as they are preparing to send out their Christmas cards this weekend. Apparently, he did not get the e-mail from me informing him about all this. Luther being Luther, he immediately began to tell me how stupid I was for having smoked. Not much I can do about that now! Anyway, if you are reading this, I love you too Luther...you insensitive lug.
It is a bit awkward talking about this in person with my friends. I spoke with Linda (Friscia)Oppe this week and I got the same feeling -- there was something uncomfortable about the conversation. I can't quite put my finger on it...but there was a certain disconnect.
I did find a website called the Lung Cancer Alliance Survivor Community, where you can meet and talk with people online who have the same condition and are going through the same thing that we are. There is reason to be optimistic. One 56 year-old on the site was diagnosed with Stage IV Lung Cancer 8 years ago; he was letting people know that he has survived for eight years with NED (no evidence of disease). So there is cause to be optimistic. Let's hope we can get to the NED pronouncement soon so I can move from victim to survivor stage.
I have been talking and thinking about this thing constantly for the past two months. I don't know about you but I am already getting tired of it.
Its time to move on with life and just hope that the disease either stabilizes or goes away. I don't want this disease to define the rest of my life going forward. There is more I want to do and say that has nothing to do with cancer.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Friday Revue and Christmas Surprises; Life Lessons
I was up blogging my last blog until 2 AM last night. (Day of treatment syndrome; steroids and too much sleep during the day I guess.) Anyway, I made it to bed by 2:30AM and was up again by 7:30AM. After radiation I got to work just before the market opened at 9:30. (We had a good week in the market. I am hoping we get a Santa rally leading up to Christmas.)I spent the morning taking care of all the voicemail messages from Thursday when I was out doing chemo. I had to skip lunch to prepare for my first appointment, which was at 1 PM. That appointment went to 3 PM so I was late for my 2:30 outside appointment (who, it turns out is seven year Stage IV breast cancer survivor) but Ryan covered for me; I got back to the office just in time for my 4 PM appointment followed by dinner at the Isle Yacht Club. Yoko and I got home from dinner tonight at 9:30PM. Coincidentally, while we were at the Yacht Club, we were introduced to a man who had just lost his wife to lung cancer. After the poor man left, the comment was made that "she smoked like a chimney" with, of course, the implication that she brought her demise on herself. All the while I am thinking...OK...but at least she was in her late sixties! Is that how people will remember me? The stupid idiot ...he smoked like a chimney!? God, I hope not!
During dinner Yoko let me know that Mom had called to tell us that she has arranged to send tickets to both Paula and June to come here for Christmas! And I thought Santa was a childhood fantasy! What a wonderful surprise! This is sure to be a very special Christmas, thanks to Grandma. And thank you Paula and June for making the time to come! Mom plans to join us here on the 19th; the girls follow on the 21st. We will be at full capacity and there should be plenty of blog material forthcoming. Anyone reading this is also welcome to come visit us here in Florida this winter.
It has been great to see comments coming in from different family members. If you go back and look, there is a message from Joanie on the Uncle Sam Letter blog. Thanks Joan...I love you too! The best part is knowing that people are taking time to read it out of concern and caring.
For me, blogging has been a great way of documenting what I am doing and feeling each day and reflecting on how I am leading my life and using my time. I would like to set a good example for my children, in the time I have, to show them all the possibilities that a full life offers. On this topic, Ryan told me about a great video on YouTube you should see. It is Jimmy V announcing the start of the Jimmy V Cancer Research Foundation at the Espy Awards in 1993. It is a nine minute talk about life and how to lead your life...when you have time click on this link to watch it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePXlkqkFH6s
My sister Peggy sent me an inspirational video called "The Last Lecture of Randy Pausch." He was a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon who was diagnosed with terminal cancer of the liver. This was a kind of living memorial service put on for him by the University. It is a very moving talk about the fulfillment of his childhood dreams. The video goes for about one hour. It is something worth watching when you have the time. The link is: http://cmu.edu/uls/journeys/randy-pausch/index.html
I was talking with Scott Lunin today and I said to him that your view of life changes when you know your time on earth may be limited. It changes your perspective and suddenly you want to go out and do good. I think this is natural and is reflected in these kinds of inspirational talks by people diagnosed with a terminal disease. Love and care for your family, help others, and do something to make the world a better place before you leave it.
I think most people living their daily life don't recognize all the capacity we have to love, do good and change the world for the better. I thought the Jimmy V comments said it all when he said, if you laugh, think and reflect, and cry once a day, you are living a full life. By those standards, I am living a very full life these days!
Before I learned that Mom had arranged to bring the girls here, I was thinking of making my Christmas gift to Yoko a trip in January and go somewhere. Problem is, after looking around, there is no place we would rather be than in sunny South Florida during the winter.
I would really like to take a trip across the USA in an RV or take a trip to Italy with Yoko. My retirement dream was to spend a year in Italy (Tuscany) with Yoko studying Italian and art... Anyway, we have been talking about a trip to Italy, but we both decided against another winter trip to Europe. The best time to visit Italy is in the spring; we'll have to see what kind of physical condition I will be in by then. I do need to find out from Uncle Sam the name of the town where my grandfather was born. I know he went and I would like to see it too.
It's hard to plan any travel when you have this condition, since I need to be around for the needed treatments. Hopefully by spring, Scott will tell me the cancer is gone and I am in complete remission; the only thing left to do will be to wait and see what happens. That is when will feel like a cancer survivor rather than a victim. So I am planning to take trip somewhere with Yoko in the spring to celebrate....I found a cruise aboard the brand new Queen Victoria that would leave from England and take you around the world for only $22k per person (drinks and excursions fares separate). Aside from the fare, the only problem is the 106 days you need to make the trip.
It IS a luxury cruise... I wonder if they offer chemo on the boat?
Thursday, November 29, 2007
November 29th Chemo; The Blood Count and Thoughts About Cancer Research
Scott was not going to be around tomorrow, so he moved my treatment up one day. Today was my seventh chemo (and hopefully last) treatment. I left the house at the usual time...8:35, had radiation at 8:50 and went to chemo by 9:15. I got home at 3:30 PM and took a two hour nap. I feel fine. I am starting to wonder if they put any drugs in those bags! Actually, I got pretty sleepy from the benedryl and slept for a large part of the time. The treatment room was busy and I could not get my usual chair in the sun, so I sat in a chair near the nurses. The room was freezing and, even covered in a blanket, I was cold. Those nurses are wonderful. I can't imagine doing what they do all day everyday...but I must say they are very professional and competent and treat you like you were the first patient they ever had.
Not being able to find a chair made me think of all the people being treated for cancer. You have to wonder where the incentive is to find a cure. This is very big business. I never really realized just how big a business cancer is -- I might have intellectually known it was big, but I never really saw it on a day to day basis as I am now. The sheer number of cases out there is amazing. The incentive to find a cure I suppose is the dollars that will be saved in the health care system. We need a cure rather than a treatment.
In the meantime, Scott and Dave have a business model that just won't quit. They don't have to go out and do seminars and scratch and claw to find new business like I do; it comes waltzing in the front door every day. Their waiting room is bigger than the Morgan Stanley office in Punta Gorda! (I should ask both those guys to put their money where there mouth is and let me manage their retirement programs!)
Anyway, I was thinking about all this and, after watching the ridiculous Republican presidential debates last night, it occurred to me that our national priorities are really screwed up. According to the National Cancer Institute, estimated federal funding for cancer research by type of cancer in 2007 was as follows:
- Breast Cancer: $560 million
- Colo rectal Cancer: $253 million
- Lung Cancer: $260 million
- Prostate Cancer: $309 million
These were estimated numbers in 2006. I think the actual numbers this year are somewhat higher, but the point is how much is being spent per cancer type and that ratio has not changed.
The National Institute of Health has a $28 billion budget. Over $2.3 billion is going to AIDs research; all cancer together is about 4.3 billion. Lung cancer kills more people than all other cancers combined, yet has the lowest funding. Try these statistics on for size: The 5 year survival rate for breast cancer it is 88%; for prostate cancer it is about 98%; for colo rectal cancer it is about 63%; for lung cancer it is 15%. The incidence of cancer for lung and breast cancer per 100k population in the US is about the same: 64/100k for lung and 69/100k for breast cancer. If you do the math, and assume a US population approaching 300 million, that would mean there are about 192,000 cases of lung cancer and 207,000 cases of breast cancer that will be diagnosed this year. Of the breast cancer cases, 12% or 24,000 cases a year will succumb to the disease within 5 years. For lung cancer, the number of deaths within 5 years will be 163,000. Good God Why don't we put more money into fighting lung cancer, which is going to affect and KILL more people? If you want to see where I got these numbers, vit this web site: http://seer.cancer.gov/csr/1975_2004/results_merged/topic_survival.pdf
It is well documented that lung cancer is not getting the research dollars needed. Should we stop or reduce the funding for breast cancer or prostate cancer research? No. Should we spend LOTS more on lung cancer? You betcha. With these kinds of numbers, you would think that the government would get serious.
Now, you want to hear the kicker that adds insult to injury? The Federal government collects nearly $8 billion a year ($39 cents a pack) on cigarette sales...hmmm. Seems like my tax dollars have gone to something other than helping me quit smoking or cancer research. I think smokers and former smokers need to demand that the sin tax be used to help find a cure for lung cancer. What do you think? I would spend most of those dollars first to find ways of safely detecting lung cancer early -- perhaps finding a genetic marker or blood marker (like the PSA for prostate)? The statistics for 5 year survival would surely improve dramatically.
I read something really interesting. Because cancer grows geometrically, you can think of it like an algae that doubles in size. Eventually the cancer takes over the organ it has invaded, so the earlier you catch it the better off you are. The article was saying that if the algae was on a lake, and the algae grew to cover the lake in 30 days, how long before the lake was covered would you want to detect the cancer? Half way? That is on day 29. One quarter of the lake is covered? That would be day 28. Most people only find the cancer (allegorically) 3 or 4 days before the lake is covered.
One million cancer cells are smaller than the head of a pin. One billion cancer cells are the size of a pea and weigh about the same as a paper clip. To illustrate: 1 ...= The inception of cancer - one malignant cell growing ........uncontrollably. One to the 1st power is 1 X 10 =10; 10 to the second power is 10 X 10 = 100; 10 to the third power is 10 X 10 X 10 = 1000; 10 to the 4th power is 1o X 10 X 10 X 10 = 10,000 etc. 10 to the 9th power is the size that cancer can normally be detected by X-ray, scan, mammogram or feel. 10 to the 13th power is the stage at which the patient is generally dead. That is why early detection and prompt treatment are at the heart of treating the disease successfully. Early detection is what mainly accounts for the differences in survival rates between the various cancers out there.
What is OBVIOUSLY needed is a better way of detecting lung cancer. X-Ray is simply too crude and NOT good enough. I had an X-ray 2 years ago and nothing was detected. Had I had another X-ray in 2006 we might have found the tumor earlier. I was given an order to get an X-Ray in 2006, but I got busy and never did it! Maybe I would have caught the tumor a year ago...or maybe not given how quickly they grow. Yoko's mother had lung cancer but she survived 15 years because she had a surgery where they removed a section of her lung. They caught the cancer at an early stage and she lived until she was 77 years old. Stanford University is working on a project that would be very useful. The image on this blog was taken from that research at: http://biomath.stanford.edu/lung_adeno_ca2.html Check it out. This is not a hopeless problem.
Anyway, sitting there in the chemo treatment room, filled to the brim with cancer patients, I started thinking about what we need to do. We need some national leadership on this. Write to your congressman and senator and presidential candidate. Send them this blog.
Then what we should do is get Peter Jennings as a national spokesman for lung cancer...but, oh damn, he's not available....
My brother Frank wants to send my blog to the oncologists he knows in Boston; be my guest. Dr Ben Li, my cousin's husband who is an oncologist can share this with people if he thinks it would be worthwhile. I don't really care who sees this or I would have made it a members only. I want people (especially family and friends) to benefit and learn from my experience. We need to increase lung cancer awareness.
And now for the blood count: I am still looking good and this is a positive result because I am expecting my blood count to normalize once I am off chemo (starting from today). My weight today was 147...but I did not wear any sweatshirts (as I should have), which accounts for at least one pound...maybe two. I probably lost a little weight because of the slight difficulty I am having eating. I definitely did not eat as much this week.
Have a good evening. Yoko is calling me to bed!
PS... I ran the blogger spell check program for phlegm (flem)... and the only suggestion was that it should be CAPITALIZED. Now there's a hint!
Result Value (Previous) Normal Range
- WBC 4.1 (3.9) 4.2 - 10.0
- ANC 3.4 (3.1) 1.4 - 6.5
- Gran% 82.7 high 39 - 78
- HCT 36.3 (36.5) Low 41 - 51
- Hgb 12.1 (12.1) Low 14 -18
- Lymph # 0.5 (0.5) Low 1.2 - 3.4
- Lymph% 12.6 (14.4) Low 15 - 40
- MCH 28.2 (28.4) 27 - 34
- MCV 84.7 (84.8) 80 - 94
- MCHC 33.3 (33.3) 32 - 36
- Mono# 0.2 (0.2) 0.0 - 0.6
- Mono% 4.7 (5.4) 0.0- 10
- Plat 259 (241) (407) 140- 440
- RBC 4.29 (4.3) Low 4.5 - 6.4
- RDW 17.2 (16.9) High 11.5 - 15.0
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